Inheritance money

[Mawar]

MMM:

3Boys:

Moral of the story: Have no expectation of inheritance money and have every expectation of having to bear the burden of looking after parents. Once you get to that mode of thinking, nothing can upset you.

:goodpost: We strongly believe in this as well.

Can't agree more.

[Joule]

MMM:

With only 1 or 2 kids these days, I think the local kids will at least get to inherit a few hundred thousand (from HDB flats) when they grow up.

agree. an only child of an only child can grow reasonably wealthy through inheritance.

[JJ1111]

Joule:

MMM:

With only 1 or 2 kids these days, I think the local kids will at least get to inherit a few hundred thousand (from HDB flats) when they grow up.

agree. an only child of an only child can grow reasonably wealthy through inheritance.

Agreed.

[Imp75]

[quote="MMM"]

For me, the family home will go to my ds. The girls will take over the other property we hold (if we still have it when we are old).
quote]

Why family home go to son and leftover go to daughters? Why still chauvanistic in this day and age? You mean the son is less abled than the daughter therefore they should receive more inheritance? Or the expectation that for daughters, only their hubby needs to worry about buying a home?

I have 2 properties currently, don’t think I will give my children any indication that they will get anything, we will use them as our retirement $.

[Funz]

cool_hi:

Just a bit curious..also about inheritance $..but different situation..


1 parent sold away some properties which was held on for past 20-30 years, which some were handed down from previous generation..some were bought with own hard-earned $..
their son+daughter-in-law, asked for half-a-million, to buy a pte property..
& the amount they demanding, is not the minimum 20% downpayment, but ard 37-40% of the purchase price..reason given is, they don't want to take too much loan/drag too long to pay bank..
the amount is ard 80-90% of the inheritance $!!
& the crux is, he is not the only son..there are 3-4 more siblings..
& THEY never offer to pay back, just because the mum favours this son..
it was not formally made known to other children, & the mum never made them to promise to return the $, should she/the dad, ever need big sum of $ for medical puposes or whatsoever..
other kids were not too happy, not coz of the $, but more on unfairness..
Plus, there were no discussions on what that son+his wife is expected to do for parents, should they ever need the $ back..
Whichever child voiced up, purely in the angle of for the benefit of the parents' welfare, was scolded viciously by the mum..saying things like it's our money, we happy give who, we can just give..non of your business..daughters are married out, don't need to poke their noses into their business..all sorts of awful accussations & words came out of the mother's mouth, which she made the other children sounds so greedy, while irronically, it is this very son+his wife who are super-selfish, but the mother just does not see it coz she favours them so much!!

So who is right/wrong?
esp, when this mum actually had been making all kids to share to pay for her insurance, etc..
so when there is medical bills in future..it is most likely to be the same, she will expect all kids to share the cost..
& ironically, when the dad needed children to chip in & help pay bank back 10 years ago, to prevent bank from taking away some of the inheritance properties, this son & his wife were the only ones who gave lame excuses & never help with a single cent!!
& YET have the cheeks to ask for so much $ now!!
But such infillial acts were easily forgiven & forgotten, simply coz the mum favours him+his wife..

is this fair?? what should other children do to protect the parents' welfare??
the parents are only in their 50s & 60s..not the super-old-age type..

The parents are still alive so we are not talking about inheritance right? This money belong to the parents and it is their right to spend and give as they deem fit. Unless they are not of sound mind.

As for caring for parents, this I see as a separate matter. It should not be dependant on how much money one has obtained or will be inheriting from the parents. It is our duty to care for them after the years of care and nurturing they have given to us.

[MMM]

Imp75:

Why family home go to son and leftover go to daughters? Why still chauvanistic in this day and age? You mean the son is less abled than the daughter therefore they should receive more inheritance? Or the expectation that for daughters, only their hubby needs to worry about buying a home?


I have 2 properties currently, don't think I will give my children any indication that they will get anything, we will use them as our retirement $.

I am not denying that I am traditional in this aspect. The reason why family home will go to ds is because dh is the only son and he has quite a no. of sisters. Fil gave us some support when we bought the house as he was the traditional type. At that point, we actually had intention to include ds's name but he is a minor (probably preschool age). So with that in mind, I would prefer to keep the family house for ds. But if he turns out to be a irresponsible jerk, I would definitely rethink the decision.

We have 2 other properties besides family house. If we still hold them, the girls should get one each. Or they can share both (as not equal in size and location). So in this case, the girls are not \"disadvantaged\" as well and definitely not a case of leftover.

They all get fair share of opportunities and our resource currently.

[Funz]

When my granma passed away, most of the money she left behind went to the daughter who housed and took care of her until her death. She left no will but that was the decision my dad and his siblings made. When granma was alive, all the siblings shared the financial burden of caring for granma but it was this aunt who was her main caregiver.


DH and I have a few properties and investments. These will be split equally between DD and DS in due time. We hope to bring them up in such a way that they will care for and work with each other the way my dad and his siblings did. Decisions whether to sell or keep the properties and investments should be worked out among themselves. Whatever proceeds, will be split equally, like wise any cost incurred. As for any cash we have left, the lion’s share of that will go to the one who is our caregiver in our old age. If neither were needed as caregiver, that will also be split equally.

Should we fail to bring kiddos up to be loving siblings, we will liquidate everything regardless of market conditions and they will get equal share each.

So moral of our will, be responsible, loving siblings to each other and you will reap better rewards. Hahah.

[mckenzy]

This thread smells more of a husband/wife relationship issue rather than about inheritance. The money is just the excuse.


i know there are variations and not everyone commits to the following but i feel that these words uttered from our mouths are a strong foundation of our pledge to one another:

"I (Groom’s Name) take thee (Bride’s Name) to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part, this is my solemn vow."

Before i married my wife, i was given a very powerful statement from a lady counselor that i hold very dear to my heart and has laid all my excuses to rest about couple-hood:

"It’s not about FINDING the right person, it is about BEING the right person".

Here’s wishing everyone a Happy New Year with your spouses. May you grow to love each other more deeply, more sacrificially, with more thought to the other half than to ourselves.

[wonderm]

slmkhoo:

MMM:

[quote=\"3Boys\"] Moral of the story: Have no expectation of inheritance money and have every expectation of having to bear the burden of looking after parents. Once you get to that mode of thinking, nothing can upset you.

:goodpost: We strongly believe in this as well.

Agree. I have told my parents to use whatever they have for themselves and in whatever way they wish. If I inherit anything, it will be a bonus, not something I count on, and hopefully not for many years yet. Between my brother and myself (only 2 of us in the family), I hope we will settle things amicably. Similarly with needing to look after parents when they get old and/or sick. I have also told my girls that the best gift we parents can give them is to be able to provide for ourselves and not rely on them, and that anything they inherit will be a bonus (and probably small!). We want them to make their own way in the world and live within their means, whether large or small.[/quote]My thinking about inheritance money is similar.

As children, we all have the responsibility of looking after aging parents. It should not be dependent on whether there is going to be any inheritance money left in future.

For my parents and in-laws, we are perfectly fine if they spend most of their savings on themselves, split equally among their children, or give more to their favorite child, or give more to those children who are financially less well-to-do, or donate to the charities of their choice. It is their savings after all, they should have the freedom to decide what to do.

I am glad DH thinks the same way and we told our parents our thinking. We also told our children so they should expect the same when it is our turn.

[wonderm]

Funz:

As for caring for parents, this I see as a separate matter. It should not be dependant on how much money one has obtained or will be inheriting from the parents. It is our duty to care for them after the years of care and nurturing they have given to us.

Strongly agree!