Maris Stella High

[emdad]

cherrygal:

Agree that kids need to grow up by managing their own challenges in school.


However, as a parent with bullied kids, it would help very much if parents of \"rough kids\" can put in more effort like Emdad to rein them in.

It doesn't help when parents of rough kids just defend their offspring by saying \"they are just kids who like to play\". I don't think these same parents will say that if it were their kids getting a head injury, have cuts inflicted deliberately by sharp objects or kicked in the abdomen repeatedly.

Sometimes I don't know whether I should blame the rough kids or their parents for condoning it. So parents, please discipline your kids and make sure they play nice.

Hi cherrygal, I agree with you.

[nms1]

emdad:

And on a side note to those parents complaining about not allowing them to tag along for first few days of school ... erm ... I think you will have bigger problems when he goes National Service.

You can't really compare a 6/7 year-old with a teenager. I wouldn't let a P1 child go out on their own but a boy going into NS is nearly an adult and almost independent.

[mummy so kiasu]

nms1:

emdad:

And on a side note to those parents complaining about not allowing them to tag along for first few days of school ... erm ... I think you will have bigger problems when he goes National Service.

You can't really compare a 6/7 year-old with a teenager. I wouldn't let a P1 child go out on their own but a boy going into NS is nearly an adult and almost independent.

It depends on the kid. Every child is different & special. Some kids don't feel safe in a big & new environment, while others are excited about it. Usually the second child tends to be more independent & he has a bigger sibbling in the same school.

[mummy so kiasu]

Deleted

[emdad]

nms1:

emdad:

And on a side note to those parents complaining about not allowing them to tag along for first few days of school ... erm ... I think you will have bigger problems when he goes National Service.

You can't really compare a 6/7 year-old with a teenager. I wouldn't let a P1 child go out on their own but a boy going into NS is nearly an adult and almost independent.

I agree with you. But I think we should first have more faith in the school (the teachers), more than ourselves. In fact, we should also trust our kids more. I find that most of us (me included) tend to trust ourselves, i.e. we must be there to see, to complain, to make sure things go our way, etc. I am constantly reminding myself not to do it, otherwise, I am only easing the path for my kid, and I wonder for how long can we do it and if doing so simply reinforces over-reliance on us the parents.

[emdad]

cherrygal:

Agree that kids need to grow up by managing their own challenges in school.


However, as a parent with bullied kids, it would help very much if parents of \"rough kids\" can put in more effort like Emdad to rein them in.

It doesn't help when parents of rough kids just defend their offspring by saying \"they are just kids who like to play\". I don't think these same parents will say that if it were their kids getting a head injury, have cuts inflicted deliberately by sharp objects or kicked in the abdomen repeatedly.

Sometimes I don't know whether I should blame the rough kids or their parents for condoning it. So parents, please discipline your kids and make sure they play nice.

I agree with you. I think as parents it is difficult to balance betwee being overly-protective or let them grow-up. On the flip side, as parents we sometimes tend to abuse/generalise by saying that \"my son is different because ...\" or by saying that \"every child is different\". That is why, I give no excuses for myself or my DS about his roughness. The important thing for us parents is to emphasise to DS that he has to take responsibility of his own actions (e.g. play rough) and, for him to face the reactions/consequences (i.e. apologise to the kids, the parents or even face punishments such as barred from playtime). I will take responsibility at home as parents to instil such values. But I will control myself not to jump in. Leave it to the school as the school has its school rules, much like our house rules and if we take it into our own hands, we are doing nothing more than sending a message to our DS that whatever happens, mom and dad will settle for you. Is that right? I have also learnt that bumps and bruises here and there, including emotional ones, are important part of growing up. Don't we all face disappointments and unhappiness in our adulthood ... School is not all fun and joy, there will be unhappy days, there will be days that teachers scold our DS (duing my times, teachers slap us and cane us), there will be days that teachers may turn a blind eye on petty bully cases ... question is, what are we as parents teaching our kids about handling such situations, especially the emotional setbacks? If we as parents really want to take action, I think we should first calm down, give the school due time (we all know how many kids they have monkey-ing around for primary and secondary?) to do their part. And even if we get involve, try not to let the kids know.

Be happy ... be loving ... be part of the journey (btw, no journey is smooth sailing throughout). I am still learning as each and every day is unique with my DS being so active ... just sharing.

[emdad]

cindyll:

emdad:

Parents, offering a way out for your child may not be the best way out. But walk with them, and at times, walk \"behind\" them. But never never fail to tell them how much you loved them and you are always there for them.

Totally agree. To quote what the VP Mrs Sim once told me:

\"Every child deserves to be loved and understood. With patience and lots of
affirmation from us, our boys will learn. Focus on what each has been done
right and the undesirable will gradually diminish.\"

I agree with you. At that age, we can shape them. They are still young. Instill the right values and give them amper opportunities. Guide them with the knowledge and teach them, equip them the ability to discern good from bad (you would be surprised kids at that age are not stupid). But let them make their own choices (they have to anyway, since we can't be there 24/7) but knowing that it comes with consequences. As my DW always tell me, we don't and we can't live their life for them.

[nms1]

emdad:

nms1:

[quote=\"emdad\"]And on a side note to those parents complaining about not allowing them to tag along for first few days of school ... erm ... I think you will have bigger problems when he goes National Service.

You can't really compare a 6/7 year-old with a teenager. I wouldn't let a P1 child go out on their own but a boy going into NS is nearly an adult and almost independent.

I agree with you. But I think we should first have more faith in the school (the teachers), more than ourselves. In fact, we should also trust our kids more. I find that most of us (me included) tend to trust ourselves, i.e. we must be there to see, to complain, to make sure things go our way, etc. I am constantly reminding myself not to do it, otherwise, I am only easing the path for my kid, and I wonder for how long can we do it and if doing so simply reinforces over-reliance on us the parents.[/quote]In the majority of situations I am more than happy to leave things to the teachers and, if I disagree with a teacher, I will never let my child see that as it will encourage him/her to disrecpect or go against the teacher.

However, there are some things that take place in school simply because it's always been done that way or because it's easier for them that way. As parents I believe we have the right to question this and work with the school to make changes where appropriate.

[nms1]

emdad:

nms1:

[quote=\"emdad\"]And on a side note to those parents complaining about not allowing them to tag along for first few days of school ... erm ... I think you will have bigger problems when he goes National Service.

You can't really compare a 6/7 year-old with a teenager. I wouldn't let a P1 child go out on their own but a boy going into NS is nearly an adult and almost independent.

I agree with you. But I think we should first have more faith in the school (the teachers), more than ourselves. In fact, we should also trust our kids more. I find that most of us (me included) tend to trust ourselves, i.e. we must be there to see, to complain, to make sure things go our way, etc. I am constantly reminding myself not to do it, otherwise, I am only easing the path for my kid, and I wonder for how long can we do it and if doing so simply reinforces over-reliance on us the parents.[/quote]In the majority of situations I am more than happy to leave things to the teachers and, if I disagree with a teacher, I will never let my child see that as it will encourage him/her to disrecpect or go against the teacher.

However, there are some things that take place in school simply because it's always been done that way or because it's easier for them that way. As parents I believe we have the right to question this and work with the school to make changes where appropriate.

[nms1]

emdad:

nms1:

[quote=\"emdad\"]And on a side note to those parents complaining about not allowing them to tag along for first few days of school ... erm ... I think you will have bigger problems when he goes National Service.

You can't really compare a 6/7 year-old with a teenager. I wouldn't let a P1 child go out on their own but a boy going into NS is nearly an adult and almost independent.

I agree with you. But I think we should first have more faith in the school (the teachers), more than ourselves. In fact, we should also trust our kids more. I find that most of us (me included) tend to trust ourselves, i.e. we must be there to see, to complain, to make sure things go our way, etc. I am constantly reminding myself not to do it, otherwise, I am only easing the path for my kid, and I wonder for how long can we do it and if doing so simply reinforces over-reliance on us the parents.[/quote]In the majority of situations I am more than happy to leave things to the teachers and, if I disagree with a teacher, I will never let my child see that as it will encourage him/her to disrespect or go against the teacher.

However, there are some things that take place in school simply because it's always been done that way or because it's easier for them that way. As parents I believe we have the right to question this and work with the school to make changes where appropriate.