Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[concern2]

hotmama77:

i also want to tell parents that if u are using the cane on ur DDs, remember to cane them on the buttocks because the cane marks on arms and legs would hurt their pride when their friends see them

...and teacher will call you up to interrogate you...

[janice75]

Chucksta:

I bought 3 canes from a HDB shop. They are very thin, short and with a plastic hook on the end. I use it to scare my kid by hitting the sofa or bed and they keep on snapping.


Where can I buy the thicker and longer canes like they have in schools?

those canes used in sch will cause severe pain, so i don't think it's possible to buy them outside

[kwcllf]

Lilac66:

My DH and I had actually used the cane on my DS when he was younger and misbehaving. It helped in that the pain reminded him about repeating bad behaviour like rudeness etc.

But I would not advocate caning to get good grades, esp if the child has already done her best...

Totally agree!

But I only caned them when they were much younger, and only sparingly, although on several ocassions I really whacked hard due to extremely bad behaviour. Now that they are older, I still threaten them sometimes (like fighting among siblings) with cane but I don't use it.

[mummyJune]

my 6 yr old niece is very rude to her grandmother who is my mil. there were so many times when she will shout & demand things loudly to my mil. Last night she did it again & i asked my mil why did she not scold this granddaughter or tell her mum(my sil) about her bad behaviour. Mil said she had told my sil so many times but no use because sil behaviour is exactly like her daughter, both of them are rude & not respectful at all. MIL also said she is worst than a maid. last time FIL cane my niece when she is very naughty, but sil scold FIL & say he abuse her daughter but problem is sil is the mother yet her daughter misbehave she never teach properly still want to scold FIL. Sometimes really got no eye to see. i see my inlaws being treated like that i feel sad for them.


MIL said my niece behave very badly at home whilelse at school she is so quiet, does not talk to ppl. I really don’t understand why got such parent like my sil, her daughter scream & shout at mil, she also never scold her, just let her be.

[octoberbaby]

I use the cane bought from outside but no use, too soft, bend and broken easily.


Now using anything that can be found in the house. Caning not everyday affair but accumulative mistakes.

Because the kids move during canning, sometimes, cannot target properly. The cane marks will be everywhere on the arms and legs. Let teachers see, it is ok, at least they know how to handle my kids.

[Mawar]

mummyJune:

my 6 yr old niece is very rude to her grandmother who is my mil. there were so many times when she will shout & demand things loudly to my mil. Last night she did it again & i asked my mil why did she not scold this granddaughter or tell her mum(my sil) about her bad behaviour. Mil said she had told my sil so many times but no use because sil behaviour is exactly like her daughter, both of them are rude & not respectful at all. MIL also said she is worst than a maid. last time FIL cane my niece when she is very naughty, but sil scold FIL & say he abuse her daughter but problem is sil is the mother yet her daughter misbehave she never teach properly still want to scold FIL. Sometimes really got no eye to see. i see my inlaws being treated like that i feel sad for them.


MIL said my niece behave very badly at home whilelse at school she is so quiet, does not talk to ppl. I really don't understand why got such parent like my sil, her daughter scream & shout at mil, she also never scold her, just let her be.

Pray I don't see your niece in action! :rotflmao:

I witnessed a boy about 9/10 years of age shouting at his mom. He kicked and shoved the shopping trolley towards her. This went on for awhile. I had walked away but my feet made a detour. I held on to the trolley, looked the boy firmly in the eye, and asked him to take a grip of himself. Told him his behaviour was most unbecoming and rude. If he continued with his tirade, I would call the police for disrupting the peace.

I was prepared for the mom to turn on me. Both of them stared at me, didn't say a word and walked away.

Actually I am a very cool and collected person by nature. If given the choice I would just walk away. With that boy, I felt like I had to do my civic duty. Couldn't turn a blind eye and just walk away.

[jtoh]

octoberbaby:

I use the cane bought from outside but no use, too soft, bend and broken easily.


Now using anything that can be found in the house. Caning not everyday affair but accumulative mistakes.

Because the kids move during canning, sometimes, cannot target properly. The cane marks will be everywhere on the arms and legs. Let teachers see, it is ok, at least they know how to handle my kids.

How hard do you cane your kids to have the cane break easily? :yikes:

[kwcllf]

slmkhoo:

mummyJune:

my 6 yr old niece is very rude to her grandmother who is my mil. there were so many times when she will shout & demand things loudly to my mil. Last night she did it again & i asked my mil why did she not scold this granddaughter or tell her mum(my sil) about her bad behaviour. Mil said she had told my sil so many times but no use because sil behaviour is exactly like her daughter, both of them are rude & not respectful at all. MIL also said she is worst than a maid. last time FIL cane my niece when she is very naughty, but sil scold FIL & say he abuse her daughter but problem is sil is the mother yet her daughter misbehave she never teach properly still want to scold FIL. Sometimes really got no eye to see. i see my inlaws being treated like that i feel sad for them.


MIL said my niece behave very badly at home whilelse at school she is so quiet, does not talk to ppl. I really don't understand why got such parent like my sil, her daughter scream & shout at mil, she also never scold her, just let her be.

Even if your sil doesn't do anything about it, your mil can take some steps to discipline the girl. Discipline doesn't need to be caning, and in fact, my personal view is that other methods of discipline can be more effective for kids this age. You could suggest to your mil that when the girl is rude, she should tell the girl how to express herself properly, then refuse to acknowledge the girl until she does it properly. She will have to put up with a lot of screaming and yelling at first, but the girl will eventually get the message if your mil is firm and consistent. I did that with my girls at home when they were even younger, and it worked.

Yeah....tell your MIL to ignore her tantrums and refuses her demands until she ask properly or behave. Only then will she learn her lesson.

[mummyJune]

slmkhoo-ok, i will let my mil know. but mil always said is sil spoilt her daughter.


everyday i see mil so tired, & because sil has 3kids & mil is taking care of 2 of them(6y,5y & 2yr)-the 2yr is in fullday childcare while the 2 older kids are attending 4hr kindergarden but the thing is when school-holiday starts, the 2 older kids doesnt have school,(their kindergarden follows school-holidays on calendar) they will stay home with mil & mil really dread school holidays. now she complains abt the older kids being so difficult to take care. rude & cannot control. imagine 5 & 6yrs old still sucking pacifier & sleeping in the sarong. Yes is true. i witness it myself. shocking discovery. when i asked mil why are they still sucking pacifier & sleeping in sarong, she said sil let them do it. Duno y got such parent.

Mawar-wow, thats really brave of u to do that. most ppl like me will just look & go. thumbs up for u!

[concern2]

Mawar:

Pray I don't see your niece in action! :rotflmao:

I witnessed a boy about 9/10 years of age shouting at his mom. He kicked and shoved the shopping trolley towards her. This went on for awhile. I had walked away but my feet made a detour. I held on to the trolley, looked the boy firmly in the eye, and asked him to take a grip of himself. Told him his behaviour was most unbecoming and rude. If he continued with his tirade, I would call the police for disrupting the peace.

I was prepared for the mom to turn on me. Both of them stared at me, didn't say a word and walked away.

Actually I am a very cool and collected person by nature. If given the choice I would just walk away. With that boy, I felt like I had to do my civic duty. Couldn't turn a blind eye and just walk away.

:rahrah: :rahrah: :imcool: :imcool: You were cool, lady!! Think the parents also at a loss of how to deal with their kid. Well, guess you've taught them a lesson then and there!

Maybe these days some parents have become too 'democratic' that they don't know when to put their foot down and set the limits.