NUS law prof in CPIB probe over exchanging grades for sex

[Rational_Parent]

Way2GO:

janet_lee88:

...he couldn't resist the carrot dangling in front of him.

for LOL, u cld hv used a more appropriate imaginative metaphor in her instance. :razz:

It should be Ok, right? It was she who dangled the carrot/pen and he who could not resist rather than the other way round!

But a close one indeed.

[Nebbermind]

Imami:

I want to believe all children are born kind and good natured, hence I subscribed to the idea of 人之初性本善。Some children do not have parents who lead by good examples. Children don't learn from what parents teach all the time, they learn thru observation of the surroundings too. I know of folks who has awful parents, but they turn out very well.

I subscribe to the believe that kids are born with the naturally tendency to become bad.

We see babies and toddlers with fiery tempers...hitting parents, throwing tantrums, throwing anything in their hands when they donch get their way.
I'm sure most of them didn't learn this through observation of us parents/adults coz surely we donch do such things. It's easy to trigger jealousy in their behaviour too...see too many of them fight for toys or anything for the sake of fighting

Nevertheless, I agree with you that it's for us to nurture them through the way we conduct ourselves.

[janet88]

Rational_Parent:

Way2GO:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]...he couldn't resist the carrot dangling in front of him.

for LOL, u cld hv used a more appropriate imaginative metaphor in her instance. :razz:

It should be Ok, right? It was she who dangled the carrot/pen and he who could not resist rather than the other way round!

But a close one indeed.[/quote]She dangled (offered) while he accepted. Win-win for both. So now both hauled up to CPIB.

[Imami]

Nebbermind:

We see babies and toddlers with fiery tempers...hitting parents, throwing tantrums, throwing anything in their hands when they donch get their way.
I'm sure most of them didn't learn this through observation of us parents/adults coz surely we donch do such things. It's easy to trigger jealousy in their behaviour too...see too many of them fight for toys or anything for the sake of fighting

Nevertheless, I agree with you that it's for us to nurture them through the way we conduct ourselves.

oh definitely, parents don't teach babies and toddlers to throw tantrums, fiery tempers and such. But how do we know that those parents with such kid's do not have fiery tempers themselves?

Toddlers maybe a bit late already, the damage could be done. But babies, they must have been hit before, in order to know hitting can be \"a weapon\". I think one of the very few valid thing in the theory of \"parents don't teach but kid's do\" is biting. You know how some toddlers resort to biting when they feel insecure or when they feel a need to express their pent up feelings but didn't know how to ?

These babies and toddlers you had seen throwing tantrums and hitting parents, did you see if their parents tried to teach them right? That hitting parents is not right? if no, then this is a classic example of \"parents never teach\".

My son, in his baby days loved to pull my long hair. No matter how I said it, he was just so intrigued to pull them. What I did was to bun up my hair because spanking would not be the right way to teach him in this case. And talking no use. So I removed the problem. A few months later, I had my waist long hair cut to shoulders. Son had moved on by then, he left my Hair alone. :imcool: parents need to intervene the children's not so ideal behavior sometimes.

my earlier post about kid's don't just learn from parents is to address the idea of \"if kids don't turn out well, it's becos no mothers to teach\". As I have said before, the kid's don't just learn what we teach them, they also learn from observation. I am saying it's both ways, not just one. And while the saying goes 养不教父之过，it's just too narrow minded to think it's one single parent's fault. How can it be when there are so many adults in the kid's life? Same goes for 教不严 therefore must be 师之 惰。how can it be just the teacher's fault, and specifically the teacher's laziness, when the child doesn't learn well?

[Strparent]

Imami:

Nebbermind:

I subscribe to the believe that kids are born with the naturally tendency to become bad.
We see babies and toddlers with fiery tempers...hitting parents, throwing tantrums, throwing anything in their hands when they donch get their way.

These babies and toddlers you had seen throwing tantrums and hitting parents, did you see if their parents tried to teach them right? That hitting parents is not right? if no, then this is a classic example of \"parents never teach\".

My son, in his baby days loved to pull my long hair. No matter how I said it, he was just so intrigued to pull them. What I did was to bun up my hair because spanking would not be the right way to teach him in this case. And talking no use. So I removed the problem. A few months later, I had my waist long hair cut to shoulders. Son had moved on by then, he left my Hair alone. :imcool: parents need to intervene the children's not so ideal behavior sometimes.
my earlier post about kid's don't just learn from parents is to address the idea of \"if kids don't turn out well, it's becos no mothers to teach\". As I have said before, the kid's don't just learn what we teach them, they also learn from observation. I am saying it's both ways, not just one. And while the saying goes 养不教父之过，it's just too narrow minded to think it's one single parent's fault. How can it be when there are so many adults in the kid's life? Same goes for 教不严 therefore must be 师之 惰。how can it be just the teacher's fault, and specifically the teacher's laziness, when the child doesn't learn well?

:goodpost: well said, Imami .

i also dont believe that kids tend to become bad.

my personal view is - there are no bad kids, only poor parenting. :spank:

[Imami]

Thanks strparent. It's very hard to be a effective parent. As some said it before, parenting does not come with a user manual and all kids different.


Kids, the very young ones, are so pure hearted and kind. They forgive so easily, all you need to is apologize. They don't care if you are sincere or not (but hey, we parents do right? How many times have we said/heard \"no, I think you are still not sorry...\"), say sorry can already.

They do have a sense of right and wrong, subconciously. And their sense of right and wrong is not affected by mitigating factors. Eg I saw this mum asking the son ( around 3-4yo) to pee behind the bushes. He son was reluctant, citing \"cannot pee here, pee pee in toilet\". Mom replied,\"Aiya, never mind la, nobody looks (at you), no toilet here\". So the little boy learned something new today - can pee in bushes too, when there is no toilet and nobody watching. Mummy said can de.... :slapshead:

[limlim]

Way2GO:

janet_lee88:

...he couldn't resist the carrot dangling in front of him.

for LOL, u cld hv used a more appropriate imaginative metaphor in her instance. :razz:

Abalone instead of carrot..?

mebbe he not vegetarian.....

[Imami]

limlim:

Way2GO:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]...he couldn't resist the carrot dangling in front of him.

for LOL, u cld hv used a more appropriate imaginative metaphor in her instance. :razz:

Abalone instead of carrot..?

mebbe he not vegetarian.....[/quote] :rotflmao: Limlim and his abalone again. Coming next, prawns.....

[raysusan]

http://sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/550427_511245198920652_782703552_n.jpg\">

[janet88]

limlim:

Way2GO:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]...he couldn't resist the carrot dangling in front of him.

for LOL, u cld hv used a more appropriate imaginative metaphor in her instance. :razz:

Abalone instead of carrot..?

mebbe he not vegetarian.....[/quote]Maybe he hasn't eaten abalone before...so with a young abalone dangling in front of him, he couldn't resist...especially one who needs a favour from him.