All About Parenting Teenagers

[Glade]

Thanks for enlightening us on these. Great help!

[elishatan]

By wayward, I really mean lians and bengs (just didn't want to appear uncouth).


I was a wayward kid myself a decade ago - vulgarities, skip school, poor grades... I did them all. (FYI, I went on to score 11 for O'levels, ABB for A'levels and graduated from NUS)

I think I can safely say that there's a reason for such behaviors. Mine was a knee-jerk reaction to bullying. Although it's kinda tragic, I have fond memories of my secondary school days. Needless to say, I've developed a soft spot for wayward youths, and will love to help out if your teenager is \"at-risk\".

Leave a reply below, I'll follow up.

[madamwoo]

Hi,


I have a daughter just started her secondary school. She seems to have problem adjusting. I am worried that she may turn rebellious when turning into teens. any advice for me?

Thanks,
woo

[madamwoo]

She has changed from a bubbly little girl to a very quiet girl since she moved to a new school. She missed her old classmates and withdraw herself in the new envoirment. She doesn’t talk much nowadays and always hide herself in her room.

[madamwoo]

Thanks for your advice, BlackBelt.

We had a good discussion before and she agreed with the choice of school.
I tried to sit her down and findout what's going on but she just avoided the topic.
She is always at the computer and refused to spend her free time with the family. I suspect that she's making some new friends online but didn't want to let us know. I'm worried that she'll meet the wrong people.
It is also hard for me to force her to tell me everything especially at her age now. Our relationship is drifting apart.

[madamwoo]

Thank you… But I can’t think of any other family member who can help. Reading your reply tells me that I have made a mistake to let her have her computer in her room. I’m not sure it will be possible to ask her to keep the door open. But I will try to find an opportunity to speak with her.

[yeo88]

Hi,

My daughter is 11 and I can understand how you feel. I have not allowed her to close her room door although she complains that I am not giving her any privacy. When did she start to close the door? What you can do is check the history on her computer to check the websites she is looking at.

[madamwoo]

I chanced upon this Strategic Parenting course.


http://in-focus.com.sg/strategic-parenting-on-7-8-9-mar-2013-3/

This course may be able to help me to work better with my daughter...I'm thinking of giving it a try.

[insider]

madamwoo:

I chanced upon this Strategic Parenting course.


http://in-focus.com.sg/strategic-parenting-on-7-8-9-mar-2013-3/

This course may be able to help me to work better with my daughter...I'm thinking of giving it a try.

Teens are most the time quite challenging.

It is good that parents can try to attending courses to see whether they can pick up indirect parenting skills (towards teens, most of the time direct teaching is not effective anymore. They usually will go into switch off mood the moment they sense you want to 'preach').

I once said that many parents spend so much money on their children for tuition and enrichment but they spend / invest too little on themselves to upgrade their 'skills'.

When parenting skills improve, the children will benefit tremendously.

I am not sure whether this course is effective but can look at parenting courses for a try if you are at your wits end towards dealing with your child.

[madamwoo]

Yes, I totally agree that it is imperative for parents to upgrade their parenting silks.


Dealing with the teens are getting more challenging nowadays. Our approach has to be very tactful / careful…all these requires skills & strategies which we may not know or have.

If the approach is wrong, we may risk losing their trust and they may not listen to us anymore or some may even turned rebellious. If any of this happens, it will be tough for the parents.