Tragic accident at Tampinese - pls wear cycling helmets!

[Harlequin]

ammonite:

This is what makes it worse, to me. It is not as if the parents were irresponsible, they were not. She usually picks the younger son up after school and on that day, she had gone earlier in the day to pick him up, but he wanted to stay back to try a new CCA so she was actually prepared to do 2 school runs for him. The elder son insisted on picking the brother up because the mother had to rush for the 6pm shift. There are so many what-ifs and I-should-haves that must be going through her mind all the time. By all accounts, she has tried her best to accomodate her child's interests and it seems to me that she has raised a very responsible, considerate and good elder son. There is no other words but a cruel twist of fate...

Yes, so sad, life is so so unpredictable.... The elder son so gwai, ....sigh... very very very sad. :sad:

[MMM]

Coolkidsrock2:

I cannot agree with you more. Cyclists should also practice road etiquette. I have almost been knocked down by them on pedestrain pavements, they have suddenly appeared in the middle of small roads when traffic lights is not in their favour and some have even rode in the middle of the lane, causing slow traffic at peak hours.


I used to pick my kids up when the school bus service is not available even though they wanted to take the public transport. Even though I can teach them road safety, when it is a situation of kids with kids, they may forget, especially boys. On their way to the bus-stop, they may engage in childish play such as \"I push you, you push me\". I had seen near accidents when picking up kids from school.

Yup yup... in the last 6 months, we've quite a no. of cyclists shock who cycle too fast, don't stop at zebra crossing and suddenly dash across out of nowhere. Fortunately dh is a “slow” driver.. From our house, we need to turn from the small road to main road... Sometimes the cyclist would just cycle in front of the car when it's obvious that the driver is actively looking for opportunity to turn out.... It's really :mad: They should go behind the car to avoid an accident.

I always feel that 不要 害人害己。Cyclists will be badly injured during accident. I am not siding driver. But in the event of an accident as a result of cyclist's \"take it for granted\" act, the driver though not physically injured will have to live to guilt the entire life and his family life will also be impacted if he has to go jail and has a family to feed... So i feel that every road users must play their part to be careful.

We’ve also seen really young kids (eg. K1/k2) crossing road by themselves. They are quite small and short and drivers might not be able to see them well (even if they raise their hands). It made me wonder why did the parents let them wander around on their own.

I kept warning the kids not to be engross with their phone when walking on the street (when they come back after school by themselves)…. At traffic junction, don’t stand right at the line. I always urge them to stand behind to avoid any cars that goes out of control or people behind accidentally pushing them and they end up on the road. We have also encountered pedestrian (usually teenagers or young adults) who blast out on their ear piece and totally oblivious to the traffic around….

[gogoahead]

ammonite:

This is what makes it worse, to me. It is not as if the parents were irresponsible, they were not. She usually picks the younger son up after school and on that day, she had gone earlier in the day to pick him up, but he wanted to stay back to try a new CCA so she was actually prepared to do 2 school runs for him. The elder son insisted on picking the brother up because the mother had to rush for the 6pm shift. There are so many what-ifs and I-should-haves that must be going through her mind all the time. By all accounts, she has tried her best to accomodate her child's interests and it seems to me that she has raised a very responsible, considerate and good elder son. There is no other words but a cruel twist of fate...

cannot agree more!

[buds]

concern2:

buds:

....

...
\"Baby, it's me. Sorry, could you ring the music school to cancel today's lesson? We met up with an accident.\"

My head spun quite suddenly and I quickly sat down. My tummy ached from the news over the phone. I wanted to ask so many questions but didn't know which I should ask first. But hubs seemed to know what was on my mind. He immediately declared that both were safe but on the way to the hospital to get their injuries checked. \"The bike's a wreck.\" Hubs said. My heart sank. \"Is DD1 okay?\" I asked while I held my breath in. \"Yes.\" I heaved a long sigh. I rang my Daddie to ask if he finished work and that I needed him.

Once we met up I saw DD1, she was in a wheelchair... her face all dirty and her arms and legs were a little bloody. My heart cried out inside but I didn't show it. I hugged her and she kept saying, \"I was so scared, mom. I was so scared.\"

We all sat close to one another and listened as hubs related the ordeal that just happened. It happened so fast. In mere minutes but the details depicted every second of what they just went through. A slow-mo re-cap you may call it.

They were almost reaching the traffic light junction and he already dropped gear... the bike already slowly and gradually getting ready to halt nearing the line. Out from nowhere, a big lorry was nearing closer and closer to the side of the bike where their right calves were. Hubs moved further left to avoid a swipe but the lorry didn't seem to be slowing down at all. It kept moving into the left. DD1 started to scream and hubs turned around and shouted for the driver to stop but the driver didn't even notice. The lorry's windows were up. Hubs honked the horn together with a few other cars as well. Yes, drivers from other lanes paid attention. The driver still didn't slow down. As the lorry started to move in on them, DD1 screamed, \"Daddy!!!\" The next moment, hubs just let go of the motorbike sending it a few metres away in front of them as both he and DD1 flew to the side of the road. Everything went fade to black for a few seconds for hubs. Apparently, the lorry driver then abruptly jammed his brakes. Hubs quickly got up from the ground worried about our daughter. He hurried over to her. She seemed to have blacked out for awhile and it took some light nudges to rouse her. DD1 screamed again when her eyes opened. She said, \"It's painful daddy. Very painful.\" She sobbed loudly... shaken... and in pain.

A few drivers stopped behind the lorry to render help and everyone seemed to be silently praying that no one was seriously hurt. Hubs ignored the throbbing pain he had and gently instructed DD1 to move her limbs slowly to make sure nothing was broken or fractured. He prayed that the blood streaked on DD1 was superficial. All the other drivers offered to help with something. One moved the flung motorbike. Another carried DD1 to a safer side of the road. Another helped to direct the traffic.

Yes, the first instinct was to punch the lorry driver as he parked at the side and came out to see if hubs and DD1 were ok. It took every inch of hubs to hold everything in him especially after he shouted, \"What the **** were you doing? Can you even see where you are going?\" ..... and the response he received was, \"Err.. sorry.. sorry.. wo bu dong.. wo bu hui jiang Engrish.. err.. ni gen wo lao ban shuo.. sorry..\" Yes. It was a China driver. Hubs really really held it in him I tell you.. really did.. Not that he was xenophobic but majority of his experiences with the foreign talents had been quite bad. Yes. He was angry. Very very angry.

He was angrier when the boss translated over the phone that the driver was a little sleepy and was out delivering new furniture for his company for the new year. He pleaded with hubs to settle. No cops. He will foot everything. From medical, transportation claim, to any income loss due to any absence from work. He pleaded that he has a family with mouths to feed and that it was the new year. He won't scrimp and delay any payment. He gave hubs his company details and hubs kept the driver's ID till they officially met up. The driver too was pretty shook up and apologetic. He looked guilty looking at DD1 wailing at the side of the road. DD1 refused to even look his way.

After consultation, while waiting for treatment and prescription for minor injuries DD1 shared...

DD1 : Mom, I was so scared I couldn't speak. But when I calmed down, I remembered about the motorbike. I told daddy I was sorry that his motorbike was a wreck because of me, because he had to send me. He really just flung his bike. We were both like in the air for a short while. It was scary. But daddy said, don't worry about the bike.

His exact words were, \"Don't worry about the bike. As long as you're okay. The bike is not important.\"

I felt sad when he said that, mom.

Me : Why?

DD1 : I was rude and mean to him. I didn't even wanna practice playing the violin properly cos I didn't feel like it. But he said everything was not important as long as I was ok. Made me feel so guilty. Why did he say that?

Me : Because he's your dad. Parents always forgive their children. Even though they don't say it all the time.

I could feel tears glistening already by then..

DD1 : I told daddy, it must be expensive to fix and we don't have the money... and how was he going to go to work.. Again he said don't worry, it's not important. As long as I was ok. He said, motorbike is not a living thing but I was his life. Motorbike can repair or get another. Then, he asked me if he could buy another daughter from the shop. Silly daddy, of course cannot. But all this time I thought he was angry with me because I didn't listen.. I thought he didn't love me.

Me : All parents love their children, sweetie.. even though they don't show it all the time.

Back at home.. with packed food for dinner so I didn't have to fuss abt cooking and clearing, all of us ate a quiet meal that evening. As I cleared up the rubbish, I gestured hubs to put DD1 to bed. I advised him to give her some closure to put her at ease and also loosen her up from that mini scare.

I saw them in embrace and as he lightly touched her hair running through it gently putting it in place, I heard him tell her..

\"Nothing is ever more important than my children. That is why I work so hard, so we can at least try to live a comfortable life. Now with another baby coming along, I have to work doubly hard. I love all of you more than anything. I am sorry the accident frightened you. It was my fault. I should've been more careful. I shouldn't even have gotten you on the bike in the first place. I am sorry.\"

DD1 just nodded, her cheeks streaming with tears. Before hubs left the room, he kissed her forehead gently and whispered to her I love you and have a good rest.

The tragic crash in Tampines sparked a dejavu for me and my family. Hence this long post.

This new year, I encourage you to acknowledge your love for your family.. to forgive.. out with the old (bad history) and embrace the new.. well it is \"NEW\" Year ain't it? May all years of bad history be buried so that new history can be made.

I've shared this before. Life is short. Live life to its fullest.
Live like everyday is your last. http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/make-everyday-count

~ For the family of the two innocent boys from the tragedy, my heart, my thoughts and my prayers are with you... As you ache and pine for the loss of your sons, I am aching with you. I am praying with you. Your pain today only serves to remind me to love my family even more. ~

Cherish what we have now and not only when we have lost it. Stay safe everyone. Never take safety for granted whether you are a driver or a pedestrian.. Have a blessed new year celebration and bask in the bliss of being around your families.. for there are others who are without.

Thanks for sharing your story, Buds. Couldn't stop my tears. There is nothing more important then our kids, and they are our lives. So true.

I just had to get it out, concern2.. as a fellow mom.. whether it is one child or more.. equally heartbreaking.. No parent can ever be prepared to bury their own children before themselves. No parent can imagine having to send off their child or children regardless how the children passed on. As parents we raise our children with all the love in our hearts and we must always remember that raising children is not for the sole reason of chasing paper qualifications. Ask yourself if you ended each and everyday reminding them how much you love them and for the siblings, how much they love each other... If you know your child was happy.. if your child had time to play.. if your child had time to be a kid.. if your child had laughed that day.. if your child knows he/she is loved.. no matter what tomorrow brings, there are no regrets.

I chose to show my children the pictures for it is the best way to show how not to take life for granted.. not to take kinship for granted. The girls sometimes quarrel along the way home from school and at times hubs and I heard they were to the point of pushing and shoving. When better than now, to use this tragedy as a teachable moment. However, I chose to show the good side of the pictures.. the side of a loving brother and son.. who volunteered to fetch his lil brother from school. The side of a hardworking mom (and dad) whom despite what they do for a living find happiness and contentment for the simple things in life. Just like us. We may not have all the money to buy all the things in the world but we can be happy, live simply and be contented. We count our rainbows more than our storms...

I have 4 children God knows I love to death and I hope they can be around to count those rainbows with me awhile longer... cherish our children.

[chloecube]

Sun_2010:

Kissgurami:

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/tampines-accident/story/tampines-accident-family-friends-paint-picture-close-siblings-


Video of the close siblings

I feel for the mum, literally a lifetime of pain and not easy to go through :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:

Extract
ON MOST days, Madam Suliani Ang would have gone to pick up her younger boy Donovan Yap after school.

But on Monday, her older son Nigel volunteered to take her place. Donovan, seven, was attending his first wushu lesson and would finish only at 5pm - an hour before the start of Madam Ang's shift at McDonald's.

Nigel, just 13, did not want his mother to be late.

He cycled to Tampines North Primary School to pick up Donovan, but never made it home with his brother.

Yesterday DA said the Principal had told them about it DS. He asked me a lot of questions as we read the articles together.

This has kind of made me stop and think about the big picture, and not get worked up about the daily inanities..

chloecube, must have been hard for you. Just reading about it , made me toss and turn before I could drift off to sleep.

:sad:

yes, it is very tough for me, definitely more so for the parents.
when it happened, both DS and i were in the room when we heard the crashing sound, our eyes widen with fear and my legs turn jelly when i look down from the window. i was frozen for a while before i pick up the phone to call the ambulance.
by then, i looked down again, i knew they are gone...my heart just sank and it is so heart wrenching to hear the mother's wailing which could be heard from my unit..my heart goes out to her
i believe all those who witnessed the scene need time to get over it..we were all too tramatised, DS said his heart was pounding hard when we went down for dinner..God bless the brothers and families

[buds]

Desserts:

Thanks for sharing , buds, it sent tears to my eyes while reading your account. Hope all s well with your dh and dd now. We also had a minor collision last year and the all of us were traumatized.. It was scary.dh had wanted to get a scooter to work too, I told him not to. The bigger vehicles really have no regards of others while on the roads. Hope the L T A really does something to penalize them for driving so fast.

As I read how the mother of the two boys cried inconsolably, Tears just welled up. Recovery will take a long time for them. Let's continue to pray for them to have strength to face each day.

And also perhaps with the stressful lifestyle in Singapore, and everyone wants to meet deadlines, from taxis, trucks, etc.. there s no wonder drivers are impatient. In aus, people seem to be more gracious to let you go first on the roads, you hardly can hear honks.

Sorry I made you cry, Desserts.. :hugs: It was therapeutic for me to pen that down. Thanks for your note.. yes they have moved on but for sure that accident left a scar in both their lives. It brought father and daughter together. So I see it as a blessing in disguise. Hubs came home early yesterday and hugged all of us tightly.. sniffed the babies loads.. (still got that sweet baby scent) and worried for the two elder girls even though they have been taking public transport on their own for years now. He too felt the ache I did when we learnt of the Yap brothers..

He said he cannot imagine his own children in similar plight as the Yaps. May God be with them and offer them strength to move on with their lives.

Yes, i agree. Even a short trip to Batam, you can see that ppl honk to caution another driver of any dangers ahead or honk to sound a friendly hello together with a wave and a smile.. everyone makes effort to signal that they are making way for another and hence driving around is not stressful. Everyone looks out for one another.

As for drivers who drive the mega trucks for a living, not all of them are reckless. My uncle is one. Him, my daddie and a few other uncles have even received the good driver recognition. Before any thorough investigation is done, I am not making any judgments. An accident could really be what it is.. a mishap that was not intended to happen. Nevertheless, I am hoping this incident enlightens drivers and pedestrians alike never to take safety for granted. It works both ways.

[buds]

schweppes:

buds:

Cherish what we have now and not only when we have lost it. Stay safe everyone. Never take safety for granted whether you are a driver or a pedestrian.. Have a blessed new year celebration and bask in the bliss of being around your families.. for there are others who are without.

Thanks for sharing, Buds. It made me tear. Hope your girl is less traumatized by the incident now. :hugs:

Yes, she has. That incident is etched in her memory as part of her experiences growing up and yes, it has helped her be more mindful of the streets when we are out. She is more sensible and is extra careful especially when we are out with the babies.

Hopefully too, unlike me.. she will stay off biker boys. :razz:

Thanks for the :hugs:...

[Www]

northernstar:

i saw in a post from a website that someone said not to buy bicycles for children when they are not matured enough to be left alone outside and i agree. if they are unable to take care of themselves, wearing helmet is of no use.

Why are they riding bicycles unsupervised?

:sad:

[Augmum]

concern2:

MMM:

:sad: mum asked why never leave behind one of her sons but have to take both away....

I shared with DS and DD about the news yesterday. After a moment of silence, DD replied,\"Mommy, I think you should have 10 children...\" :faint:

To take away 1 child is already devastating, how to endure the piercing pain
of having the lost of both children.....

i shared with my gal too abt this tragic news.....told her that i dont think i can live on without her.....
She sadly replied me, \" mummy......u shd have another child\".....
But i said,\" Nothing can be replaced.....even with another child \"....

[rains]

Www:

northernstar:

i saw in a post from a website that someone said not to buy bicycles for children when they are not matured enough to be left alone outside and i agree. if they are unable to take care of themselves, wearing helmet is of no use.

Why are they riding bicycles unsupervised?

:sad:

In neighbourhood schools, elder bro or sisters picking up younger siblings is very common scene. I hate to say this but there is some truth in the much criticized article. The parents in neighbourhood schools especially are usually working parents just to make ends meet. And they don't have grandparental support or maids so they just have to entrust their younger ones to the slightly older ones.

Unfortunately, kids being kids, they are not as vigilant or prudent as adults when it comes to road safety.