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    Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Working With Your Child
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    • C Offline
      concern2
      last edited by

      Mawar:

      Pray I don't see your niece in action! :rotflmao:

      I witnessed a boy about 9/10 years of age shouting at his mom. He kicked and shoved the shopping trolley towards her. This went on for awhile. I had walked away but my feet made a detour. I held on to the trolley, looked the boy firmly in the eye, and asked him to take a grip of himself. Told him his behaviour was most unbecoming and rude. If he continued with his tirade, I would call the police for disrupting the peace.

      I was prepared for the mom to turn on me. Both of them stared at me, didn't say a word and walked away.

      Actually I am a very cool and collected person by nature. If given the choice I would just walk away. With that boy, I felt like I had to do my civic duty. Couldn't turn a blind eye and just walk away.
      :rahrah: :rahrah: :imcool: :imcool: You were cool, lady!! Think the parents also at a loss of how to deal with their kid. Well, guess you've taught them a lesson then and there!

      Maybe these days some parents have become too 'democratic' that they don't know when to put their foot down and set the limits.

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      • O Offline
        octoberbaby
        last edited by

        I still see a 5 yr-old kid wearing pull-up pants.

        I see a 7 yr-old kid drinking milk from baby milk bottle.

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        • M Offline
          mummyJune
          last edited by

          Seems like grandparents should not give in to the kids & let the kids get away with their naughty behaviour?


          octoberbaby-yes i seen a 9yr old kid also drinking from milk bottle

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          • O Offline
            octoberbaby
            last edited by

            Not only grandparents, MAID is another problem in handling the kids.

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            • misskM Offline
              missk
              last edited by

              My son is 3, and very impulsive and mischievous. He even started to tell a lie the other day. I don’t cane him, but I smack him on the bum (hard). He will laugh if you don’t hit hard, so must hit hard enough for him to pout or cry. My heart is so painful whenever I hit him. I was not a believer of hitting children until my son defied me and tried to run towards a road when he was 2.


              If you visit those western parenting websites, most overwhelmingly abmonish corporal punishments such as smacking and caning. But what should we do if the child is like mine? Active, excitable, cheeky, sharp, impulsive and curious? I only want him to be safe.

              I always remind him of the most important expectations such as holding hand, no running off, or walking beside mummy, and it works 90% of the time, with a verbal or physical reminder every now and then. 10% of the time, he will still run off to follow whatever has caught his interest! And he won’t stop even if you shout.

              I am preggy now and super slow… Feel like getting a leash! Or a cane!

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              • misskM Offline
                missk
                last edited by

                My son is 3, and very impulsive and mischievous. He even started to tell a lie the other day. I don’t cane him, but I smack him on the bum (hard). He will laugh if you don’t hit hard, so must hit hard enough for him to pout or cry. My heart is so painful whenever I hit him. I was not a believer of hitting children until my son defied me and tried to run towards a road when he was 2.


                If you visit those western parenting websites, most overwhelmingly abmonish corporal punishments such as smacking and caning. But what should we do if the child is like mine? Active, excitable, cheeky, sharp, impulsive and curious? I only want him to be safe.

                I always remind him of the most important expectations such as holding hand, no running off, or walking beside mummy, and it works 90% of the time, with a verbal or physical reminder every now and then. 10% of the time, he will still run off to follow whatever has caught his interest! And he won’t stop even if you shout.

                I am preggy now and super slow… Feel like getting a leash! Or a cane!

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                • jedamumJ Offline
                  jedamum
                  last edited by

                  Missk

                  Some kids does not like to have their hands held. Tiring maybe?
                  When I need to slow my boy down or ensure a constant grasp on him, I give him a haversack. Put in some toys,abooks jacket, his favourite, just adequate weight. Then I hang onto the top bag handle - I am not very tall 😓 - and it acts as my alternative to lease.
                  As you are heavily pregnant, try tto avoid outside trips alone if possible. Kids being kids, tend to forget rules when excited. Jmo

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                  • S Offline
                    sleepy
                    last edited by

                    slmkhoo:
                    Try time-out. It worked better for my active daughter than my less active one. When he misbehaves, tell him why, then put him in a specific place for 3 mins. The place should be boring - I used to make my kids face a blank wall. When they stray, start the clock again. Initially, you may have to put them back and restart many, many times until they know you mean business. I only smacked my kids for defiance and intentional disobedience.

                    I have never succeeded in implementing time out.
                    If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

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                    • S Offline
                      sleepy
                      last edited by

                      slmkhoo:
                      That's pretty much the same as time-out, isn't it? The only differences are that I don't make them kneel (they can stand or sit as long as they face the wall), and there is a time limit.

                      No fixed time limit, till I cool down & become 心软, definitely longer than 3 mins.

                      Depending on how mad I was, could be as long as 20 mins if super mad.
                      However, they always make themselves comfy and rest their bums on their legs whenever I'm not watching

                      That was during their preschool years. Now I either give motivational speech or machine gun scolding :evil:

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                      • misskM Offline
                        missk
                        last edited by

                        Haha, I like the bagpack idea, unfortunately my boy has a funny character. He refuses any extra clothing items such as jackets, caps and backpacks. Sometimes I give him a small plastic bag to carry 1 grocery item.


                        Haiz… Tough to be parents right? Does occasional spanking or caning leave any damage to the child? I am really afraid I might overdo it sometimes. Dangerous behaviour ( and I don’t just mean climbing to high places and jumping off) really gets my blood boiling, so I might over do it. I am a working mum, but I spend most of my time with my boy. Our relationship is fairly strong, so I don’t want to spoil that. We always have rewarding activities for him to look forward to if he behaves expectedly. Such as 50c ride if he doesn’t run offf while in supermarket, or playground/ipad time if he sits for entire meal. Favourite toy if he finishes his schoolwork in 1 sitting.

                        Yes, this boy gets time out too… We use quite a number of discipline methods for various level of severity. Small misbehaviours gets a scolding, and then we try our best to get him to stop it and do something else. Bigger ones such as throwing or breaking things, or tantrums get timeout. Either he goes, or I go. Sometime the toy goes timeout too. We also let natural consequences teach him… Such as after many times of telling him not to run on wet floor and he still runs, a fall will teach him to be careful. Its only danger discipline I really have no idea how to make it sink in FAST

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