Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

Try time-out. It worked better for my active daughter than my less active one. When he misbehaves, tell him why, then put him in a specific place for 3 mins. The place should be boring - I used to make my kids face a blank wall. When they stray, start the clock again. Initially, you may have to put them back and restart many, many times until they know you mean business. I only smacked my kids for defiance and intentional disobedience.

I have never succeeded in implementing time out.
If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

That's pretty much the same as time-out, isn't it? The only differences are that I don't make them kneel (they can stand or sit as long as they face the wall), and there is a time limit.

No fixed time limit, till I cool down & become 心软, definitely longer than 3 mins.

Depending on how mad I was, could be as long as 20 mins if super mad.
However, they always make themselves comfy and rest their bums on their legs whenever I'm not watching

That was during their preschool years. Now I either give motivational speech or machine gun scolding :evil:

[missk]

Haha, I like the bagpack idea, unfortunately my boy has a funny character. He refuses any extra clothing items such as jackets, caps and backpacks. Sometimes I give him a small plastic bag to carry 1 grocery item.


Haiz… Tough to be parents right? Does occasional spanking or caning leave any damage to the child? I am really afraid I might overdo it sometimes. Dangerous behaviour ( and I don’t just mean climbing to high places and jumping off) really gets my blood boiling, so I might over do it. I am a working mum, but I spend most of my time with my boy. Our relationship is fairly strong, so I don’t want to spoil that. We always have rewarding activities for him to look forward to if he behaves expectedly. Such as 50c ride if he doesn’t run offf while in supermarket, or playground/ipad time if he sits for entire meal. Favourite toy if he finishes his schoolwork in 1 sitting.

Yes, this boy gets time out too… We use quite a number of discipline methods for various level of severity. Small misbehaviours gets a scolding, and then we try our best to get him to stop it and do something else. Bigger ones such as throwing or breaking things, or tantrums get timeout. Either he goes, or I go. Sometime the toy goes timeout too. We also let natural consequences teach him… Such as after many times of telling him not to run on wet floor and he still runs, a fall will teach him to be careful. Its only danger discipline I really have no idea how to make it sink in FAST

[missk]

Maybe I should sew a tail on his shirt! Built in leash! Make sure the characterin front is like a monkey or cow… And then sew on a matching tail

[HAPPYH]

sleepy:

slmkhoo:

That's pretty much the same as time-out, isn't it? The only differences are that I don't make them kneel (they can stand or sit as long as they face the wall), and there is a time limit.

No fixed time limit, till I cool down & become 心软, definitely longer than 3 mins.

Depending on how mad I was, could be as long as 20 mins if super mad.
However, they always make themselves comfy and rest their bums on their legs whenever I'm not watching

That was during their preschool years. Now I either give motivational speech or machine gun scolding :evil:

[HAPPYH]

missk:

Maybe I should sew a tail on his shirt! Built in leash! Make sure the characterin front is like a monkey or cow.. And then sew on a matching tail

[Imami]

sleepy:

If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?

But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:

[missk]

Good idea… On stop games. I think my son will need a leash first… He can stop only if he wasn’t chasing some dog/cat/bird/other people’s shopping trolley at that moment. If he sees something that makes him curious, it is almost as if he has temporary deafness. If not, he is quite good at following me. So impulsive right? Is it a BOY trait? I believe girls not like that, so maybe girls don’t need corporal punishments

[HAPPYH]

Imami:

sleepy:

If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?

But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:

:yikes:

[sleepy]

Imami:

sleepy:

If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?

But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:

Nah, if you know my kids, you will notice they are overflown with self esteem :rotflmao:


It's important to explain why they are being punished and I always walk through with them my thoughts process after they're done with kneeling (& I have 消气）and then they will apologise to me and promise not to repeat.

Don't worry, it's not a daily occurence I think my dd2 kneeled thrice so far. My dd1 is the one who kneeled more often, though I think certainly less than 10 times so far. During their preschool years only.

It's important that they learn to reflect on their mistakes & I find that kneeling is more effective than caning in driving the message across because they are able to tell me clearly why they should not behave in that manner & they rarely repeat again