Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?
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My son is 3, and very impulsive and mischievous. He even started to tell a lie the other day. I don’t cane him, but I smack him on the bum (hard). He will laugh if you don’t hit hard, so must hit hard enough for him to pout or cry. My heart is so painful whenever I hit him. I was not a believer of hitting children until my son defied me and tried to run towards a road when he was 2.
If you visit those western parenting websites, most overwhelmingly abmonish corporal punishments such as smacking and caning. But what should we do if the child is like mine? Active, excitable, cheeky, sharp, impulsive and curious? I only want him to be safe.
I always remind him of the most important expectations such as holding hand, no running off, or walking beside mummy, and it works 90% of the time, with a verbal or physical reminder every now and then. 10% of the time, he will still run off to follow whatever has caught his interest! And he won’t stop even if you shout.
I am preggy now and super slow… Feel like getting a leash! Or a cane! -
My son is 3, and very impulsive and mischievous. He even started to tell a lie the other day. I don’t cane him, but I smack him on the bum (hard). He will laugh if you don’t hit hard, so must hit hard enough for him to pout or cry. My heart is so painful whenever I hit him. I was not a believer of hitting children until my son defied me and tried to run towards a road when he was 2.
If you visit those western parenting websites, most overwhelmingly abmonish corporal punishments such as smacking and caning. But what should we do if the child is like mine? Active, excitable, cheeky, sharp, impulsive and curious? I only want him to be safe.
I always remind him of the most important expectations such as holding hand, no running off, or walking beside mummy, and it works 90% of the time, with a verbal or physical reminder every now and then. 10% of the time, he will still run off to follow whatever has caught his interest! And he won’t stop even if you shout.
I am preggy now and super slow… Feel like getting a leash! Or a cane! -
Missk
Some kids does not like to have their hands held. Tiring maybe?
When I need to slow my boy down or ensure a constant grasp on him, I give him a haversack. Put in some toys,abooks jacket, his favourite, just adequate weight. Then I hang onto the top bag handle - I am not very tall
- and it acts as my alternative to lease.
As you are heavily pregnant, try tto avoid outside trips alone if possible. Kids being kids, tend to forget rules when excited. Jmo -
slmkhoo:
Try time-out. It worked better for my active daughter than my less active one. When he misbehaves, tell him why, then put him in a specific place for 3 mins. The place should be boring - I used to make my kids face a blank wall. When they stray, start the clock again. Initially, you may have to put them back and restart many, many times until they know you mean business. I only smacked my kids for defiance and intentional disobedience.
I have never succeeded in implementing time out.
If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down. -
slmkhoo:
That's pretty much the same as time-out, isn't it? The only differences are that I don't make them kneel (they can stand or sit as long as they face the wall), and there is a time limit.
No fixed time limit, till I cool down & become 心软, definitely longer than 3 mins.
Depending on how mad I was, could be as long as 20 mins if super mad.
However, they always make themselves comfy and rest their bums on their legs whenever I'm not watching
That was during their preschool years. Now I either give motivational speech or machine gun scolding :evil: -
Haha, I like the bagpack idea, unfortunately my boy has a funny character. He refuses any extra clothing items such as jackets, caps and backpacks. Sometimes I give him a small plastic bag to carry 1 grocery item.
Haiz… Tough to be parents right? Does occasional spanking or caning leave any damage to the child? I am really afraid I might overdo it sometimes. Dangerous behaviour ( and I don’t just mean climbing to high places and jumping off) really gets my blood boiling, so I might over do it. I am a working mum, but I spend most of my time with my boy. Our relationship is fairly strong, so I don’t want to spoil that. We always have rewarding activities for him to look forward to if he behaves expectedly. Such as 50c ride if he doesn’t run offf while in supermarket, or playground/ipad time if he sits for entire meal. Favourite toy if he finishes his schoolwork in 1 sitting.
Yes, this boy gets time out too… We use quite a number of discipline methods for various level of severity. Small misbehaviours gets a scolding, and then we try our best to get him to stop it and do something else. Bigger ones such as throwing or breaking things, or tantrums get timeout. Either he goes, or I go. Sometime the toy goes timeout too. We also let natural consequences teach him… Such as after many times of telling him not to run on wet floor and he still runs, a fall will teach him to be careful. Its only danger discipline I really have no idea how to make it sink in FAST -
Maybe I should sew a tail on his shirt! Built in leash! Make sure the characterin front is like a monkey or cow… And then sew on a matching tail
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sleepy:
slmkhoo:
That's pretty much the same as time-out, isn't it? The only differences are that I don't make them kneel (they can stand or sit as long as they face the wall), and there is a time limit.
No fixed time limit, till I cool down & become 心软, definitely longer than 3 mins.
Depending on how mad I was, could be as long as 20 mins if super mad.
However, they always make themselves comfy and rest their bums on their legs whenever I'm not watching
That was during their preschool years. Now I either give motivational speech or machine gun scolding :evil:
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missk:
Maybe I should sew a tail on his shirt! Built in leash! Make sure the characterin front is like a monkey or cow.. And then sew on a matching tail
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sleepy:
wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?
If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.
But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:
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