Club SAHM

[3Boys]

vinegar:

3Boys:

[quote=\"vinegar\"]can't stand it when see the clothes pile up...

can't stand it when the floor is sticky
can't stand the smell of toilet....

i always kan cheong when i run out of ingredient in the fridge....

u r right...mental well-being is impt...Trying hard too...emotional struggle.Try to close one eye.Last time,when i was working,i wasn't like that....maybe old liao...

also lazy to go out.As SAHM,don't nid to shop for nice clothing.I everyday in t-shirt n shorts...if go shopping,also look for clothes for kids/DH or mingle in popular bookshop,household utensil dept....Am i abnormal?

Vinegar, you must make time for yourself and be happy. Marriage and parenthood is a marathon, you need time to recover and recuperate.

:thankyou: true..maybe muz find time....backpain is killing me...also don't enjoy going out...coz cannot find parking,too crowded everywhere :stompfeet:[/quote]You are welcome. DW was SAHM briefly, and one can get depressed in that role. The well-being of the family is very dependent on the well-being of the mum. Do take time off to recharge, buy some new clothes, feel good about yourself. As you love your family, you must do this for yourself, you must. It's more important than doing the dishes, more important than taking the kids to enrichment class.

[janet88]

Shall we move this to life without maids ?

[Imami]

SAHM Chew:

I have no help from anyone too. And need to do the cooking,sending, fetching, teaching..... All by myself. Sometimes, I felt so tired, and no one could really understand.....

I realized that I was alone in this journey of parenting/wifey role some years back. I see it as a \"battle\" that I have to fight alone. A while later, I realized, hey, I was never alone! My little boy was always with me!

If it makes anyone feel better, think of yourself as a lit candle. You burn yourself bright for the good of your loved ones. Or would you rather be a candle which has never been lit? Never have brought any warmth or brightness to anyone? Just gotta make sure one doesn't burn at both ends all the time,

The people around us may not understand. This, I can attest to it. But I have recently realize that there many many more who understand and share my pain. They are people like you :hugs:

[VemmaMom]

sleepy:

Too much ME time also feel very lethagic. This year both kids in morning session. My house suddenly so quiet. And I don't feel like doing anything at all, even feel lazy to go gym although I finally have the entire morning to myself.

Can't explain what's wrong with me. I think I'm beginning to suffer from empty nest syndrome in the morning

Then when they're both home in the afternoon, they quarrel non stop! Aiya, too extreme a swing :frustrated:

Sleepy, why not some online business that uses only the free morning hours? I uses my kids nap time in the afternoon, around 2 hours daily.

[VemmaMom]

mummyliv:

VemmaMom:

Sometimes is the frustrations that we, SAHM faced like no ME alone time.. most private time for me is when I m in my bathroom......

haha so funny but so true.. i also have private me time only in bathroom... thats the only time i am alone and can do my own stuff and peace...

mummyliv,

I will shout at anyone who disturb my precious moments in there... not even my hubby is allowed to talk to me..

[Mawar]

Imami:

SAHM Chew:

I have no help from anyone too. And need to do the cooking,sending, fetching, teaching..... All by myself. Sometimes, I felt so tired, and no one could really understand.....

I realized that I was alone in this journey of parenting/wifey role some years back. I see it as a \"battle\" that I have to fight alone. A while later, I realized, hey, I was never alone! My little boy was always with me!

If it makes anyone feel better, think of yourself as a lit candle. You burn yourself bright for the good of your loved ones. Or would you rather be a candle which has never been lit? Never have brought any warmth or brightness to anyone? Just gotta make sure one doesn't burn at both ends all the time,

The people around us may not understand. This, I can attest to it. But I have recently realize that there many many more who understand and share my pain. They are people like you :hugs:

Taking care of others ie children, in- laws, family .. etc is never easy. It involves giving of oneself. But that's what living is all about. Cheers to all of you!

[Harlequin]

Mawar:

Imami:

[quote=\"SAHM Chew\"]
I have no help from anyone too. And need to do the cooking,sending, fetching, teaching..... All by myself. Sometimes, I felt so tired, and no one could really understand.....

I realized that I was alone in this journey of parenting/wifey role some years back. I see it as a \"battle\" that I have to fight alone. A while later, I realized, hey, I was never alone! My little boy was always with me!

If it makes anyone feel better, think of yourself as a lit candle. You burn yourself bright for the good of your loved ones. Or would you rather be a candle which has never been lit? Never have brought any warmth or brightness to anyone? Just gotta make sure one doesn't burn at both ends all the time,

The people around us may not understand. This, I can attest to it. But I have recently realize that there many many more who understand and share my pain. They are people like you :hugs:

Taking care of others ie children, in- laws, family .. etc is never easy. It involves giving of oneself. But that's what living is all about. Cheers to all of you![/quote] :goodpost: :goodpost: Imami and Mawar.

[KSmom8]

3Boys:

DW was SAHM briefly, and one can get depressed in that role. The well-being of the family is very dependent on the well-being of the mum. Do take time off to recharge, buy some new clothes, feel good about yourself. As you love your family, you must do this for yourself, you must. It's more important than doing the dishes, more important than taking the kids to enrichment class.

I :salute: you. Wish DH was as enlightened as you.

I was so unhappy when I first stopped work for 1 year when DC1 was younger. Tried to do too much, I think.

When I became a SAHM for the 2nd time, I sometimes chill out in cafes whilst the children are in enrichment. I don't cook every dinner and lunch. Even though, I have a maid, I now do at least 50% of the chores (with each new maid, I end up doing more)....

Perhaps... That's why MIL is unhappy with this lazy DIL. SAHM is a 24 / 7 job and I'd rather keep my sanity.

To all SAHMs, do take time to love yourself. :grphug:

[janet88]

Times have changed. Being a SAHM today requires more time, effort and sanity. Could it be due to higher education expectations that caused the higher stress? I don’t know. There is so much giving on our part…but towards kids and hubby, I am more than willing…though with some occasional grouse. But I don’t think I have a heart big enough to handle his parents. Guess hubby is beginning to know his mother’s character more of late. He has given up.

[Fresco]

Imami:

SAHM Chew:

I have no help from anyone too. And need to do the cooking,sending, fetching, teaching..... All by myself. Sometimes, I felt so tired, and no one could really understand.....

I realized that I was alone in this journey of parenting/wifey role some years back. I see it as a \"battle\" that I have to fight alone. A while later, I realized, hey, I was never alone! My little boy was always with me!

If it makes anyone feel better, think of yourself as a lit candle. You burn yourself bright for the good of your loved ones. Or would you rather be a candle which has never been lit? Never have brought any warmth or brightness to anyone? Just gotta make sure one doesn't burn at both ends all the time,

The people around us may not understand. This, I can attest to it. But I have recently realize that there many many more who understand and share my pain. They are people like you :hugs:

It takes another of its own kind to understand the other. Life is about being giving and sharing. People who are only takers are not happy people because they never reap the joy of giving. Those who conscientiously work hard for the benefit of others especially for your loved ones are the most rewarded. Thus, the burning candle is a much more rewarding role than the unlit one.

The complexities of family relationships especially with the in-laws, is indeed daunting for many. Most of us struggle because we are clueless about how we should adjust and improve our marital/parenting/family relationships. It is all about managing, not conquering differences.

We have to find new and creative options to manage around conflicts in the family instead of resolving them. I learnt that in people, every strength is a weakness and every weakness is a strength. Doing more does not necessary mean it's better than doing less. Our strength can also be our weakness. So manage it well. Learning to moderate our behaviour and expectations is a good tool in order to manage the differences in the members of the family. Transform conflicts into opportunities. It is possible if we practise more empathy, kindness, humility and forgiveness.