Club SAHM
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TheAnswer:
I agree about remaining calm. I also realized that if DH speaks loudly but I responded softly like usual, he won't remain loud for long (less than 10 mins). Then the fight won't start.
If this happens to me, I'll shut myself in a room. He can shout at the door.KSmom8:
[quote=\"vinegar\"]I understand how u feel....I dislike man raises his voice on woman.
My DH does that often.When i chose to ignore his consistent argument,he'll keep following me,shouting n argue.Tell him i would like to be alone n stop discuss anymore,i cry,also no use. :sad: No showing of sympathy :stompfeet: ...If can't talk,will end up cold war.
The longest cold war we've was 6mth.I nearly wanna go to lawyer n file for divorce.
Sometimes, I think it's the upbringing. My ILs like to shout and scold, over the most trivial stuff. Usually they don't do in front of me. But they did slip up a few times and on those rare occasions, I witnessed it.
I worry that the kids will be like this. So I'm trying not to have a shouting match in front of them. Remaining calm during the shouting, is far more effective, in my opinion. Let him shout like a mad dog, I'm better than that.
However, different DH need to use different techniques to manage them.[/quote]Agree. Different breed must use different approach. -
KSmom8:
Massages don't work on me cos I get ticklish. Unfortunately. But maybe I'll get something when I send my necklace for repair... :evil:[/quote]Wah.. Diamonds! Great idea! :rahrah:
How about a spa package?TheAnswer:
[quote=\"KSmom8\"]I hate it when man shout at woman. No excuses. Even if stressed.
My DH also lost temper and shouted at me. Also in car with kids, during CNY. Unfortunately, I couldn't control so it became a shouting match. I think the kids were scared. I regretted it.
3 weeks later, he lost his temper over a trivial thing. This time, he shouted and when he was done. I asked calmly whether it was necessary to shout and lose temper over such a small thing. If he don't want to do, I can do it. More effective.
I'm still fuming over his outbursts. Cold War really does not affect him and i still talk to him when necessary cos there are kids around. Instead, I don't bother much about him or what he says. Am thinking of what to buy and charge to his card.... .... Something expensive that'll make me happy.
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KSmom8:
I couldn't control it...in fact I lost my cool when he shouted...it just wasn't necessary...it was such a small issue. It became a shouting match. It started in the lift going down and continued in the car going home.I hate it when man shout at woman. No excuses. Even if stressed.
My DH also lost temper and shouted at me. Also in car with kids, during CNY. Unfortunately, I couldn't control so it became a shouting match. I think the kids were scared. I regretted it.
I'm still fuming over his outbursts.
Yesterday morn, he apologized...but I find it meaningless to talk. What is there to talk when he could behave like a mad dog? If he can shout at me in front of kids, I do not see any reason why I should show him any respect. It's ok for me to ignore him. If he is sincere to end it, apologize in front of the kids. -
In the past,my DH used to raise his voice.Now he could control beta.
We also agreed to discuss after children sleep.I do not wanna the kiddo to be affected by our argument.
That was once my DH smashed the glass door n my boy still remem after few yrs.That was also signs that my boy started to throw temper.So i told my DH if he doesn't wanna kiddo to grow up unable to control anger,he has to change n lead by example.δΈζ¨δΈζ£,δΈζ¨ζͺ.Children watch-& they will emulate what they see.
Ultimately,I still wanna kiddo to respect my DH n treat him as role model.
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KSmom8:
Agree. Different breed must use different approach.
haha....
good answer!....look for experience dog trainer??
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vinegar:
If this mad dog wants to end, then he better THINK of a solution...bcos I am capable of showing black face. I don't suffer, he does. He blasted in front of the kids...how will kids think of him ?KSmom8:
Agree. Different breed must use different approach.
haha.... good answer!....look for experience dog trainer?? -
TheAnswer:
Still thinking about it... Can't be toooooo expensive otherwise will start another fight.
Wah.. Diamonds! Great idea! :rahrah:
Already bought some household stuff that's nice to have ( didn't look at price tag ), will be used but not necessarily needed.
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vinegar:
Yah. Should include such training courses in those pre-marital programs, to tame all breeds, especially males. :rotflmao:KSmom8:
Agree. Different breed must use different approach.
haha.... good answer!....look for experience dog trainer?? -
janet_lee88:
If this mad dog wants to end, then he better THINK of a solution...bcos I am capable of showing black face. I don't suffer, he does. He blasted in front of the kids...how will kids think of him ?[/quote]My DH still behaves like nothing happened. Has not apologized. Talks to me and gets no reaction. I'm the expressionless wall. I'll probably get him to apologise after I've stopped fuming.... which will be after I've made myself happy with something new....hopefully.vinegar:
[quote=\"KSmom8\"]Agree. Different breed must use different approach.
haha.... good answer!....look for experience dog trainer?? -
At least your husbands apologise. Mine doesnβt apologise AT ALL, even when he is obviously in the wrong.
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