Club SAHM

[Mawar]

slmkhoo:

sleepy:

I guess every marriage is different. Every dh has different temperament and every SAHM has different temperament. 家家有本难念的经


Since we are on this topic, how would you rate your overall happiness level in your decade (or decades) of marriage?

From scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being blissfully happy :please:

For me, married over 25yrs, I would rate it as a 9.9 (since perfection is not possible?). We do disagree sometimes, we irritate each other sometimes, but we we have learned to accept each other and we are still 'best friends'. I have been a SAHM for 16yrs, and am really very grateful that my husband recognises the work I do to raise and educate the kids, keep the home going and to support him in his work. He has never shown in any way that he rates me as less important because I don't bring money home, or that he considers my giving up my career and income as a waste. In fact, he sometimes tells people that SAHM are the 'glue' that holds families together, especially when we are overseas and without extended family support. I don't regret my marriage at all.

:goodpost:

I am at a very contented place at the moment. Not a 9.9 but close. DH and I have been together since college. We have common friends who go back decades. We started with nothing and we built something.

We have our share of ups and downs. I attribute most downs to growing pains because we were growing up and finding ourselves. We are fortunate because we only have each other the first decade of our lives together. We were overseas for school and for work. Those early years gave us a strong foundation to withstand our downs.

[SAHM_TAN]

Hi wonderm,


Why did you want to siam after your post?

The words in blue are for firefly38. My feeling is that she wanted to help Janet but the tone was not friendly. I can understand why firefly38 would feel angered by Janet's posts. But anger will not help Janet. At the same time I was a bit worried abt Janet after I read Janet's posts so in my rambling I somehow posted what I wanted to tell Janet.

wonderm:

SAHM_TAN:

Hi firefly38,

From your posts abt Janet's posts I can feel that you are trying to help her but I think the tone is not gentle. I have been reading her posts and was wondering how to help. I have this \"urge\" becos I'm a bit worried.

The thing is I do not know if she told her kids that they shouldn't take sides or that her dd shouldn't tell her hubby \"it's your problem\". I might remembered wrongly abt her dd's reply to her father. Becos a family's harmony is everyone's biz. I remembered when I was angry abt something hubby and the kids will try to make me forgive and forget.

Another thing is, there's a possibility that when people post in forum, we are presenting only a part of the picture. So I have stayed my post and instead tried to divert a bit with my credit card posts heehee.

I never let my kids take sides becos I remembered how my mother let me take her side and my relationship with my father slowly deteriorated. Later when I was older, I was able to slowly change.

My hubby is the disciplinarian and so my kids would \"prefer\" me but I always tell them the positive aspects of hubby towards them becos they will fail to see how much their father has done for them.

I have rambled so much that it seems I have managed to say what I want to say to Janet thru my post to you. This post also serves a reminder to me.

You are very chim!

Let me guess, the words in blue was what you wanted to say to Janet? :siam:

[ngl2010]

sleepy:

I guess every marriage is different. Every dh has different temperament and every SAHM has different temperament. 家家有本难念的经


Since we are on this topic, how would you rate your overall happiness level in your decade (or decades) of marriage?

From scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being blissfully happy :please:

I would rate mine close to 9.9 too. I have been so blessed with an understanding and patient husband. However, he may not rate our marriage as 9.9 because I do lose my temper from time to time and I also have other shortcomings :oops:

[ngl2010]

All,


Let’s be kind to Janet. I think in another thread she wrote that she has depression.

[TheAnswer]

Wah… All close to 9.9… Super hubbies!

[TheAnswer]

ngl2010:

All,


Let's be kind to Janet. I think in another thread she wrote that she has depression.

We still love Janet! :grphug:

[TheAnswer]

Have u ever checked with your DH how he rates you? I mean like overall package (housekeeping, personal upkeeping, temper, finance management, personality etc). I did once. Got 75 only. But my DH said, it’s already distinction you know. He is kinda stingy with the marks. What to do? He said 75 already very good. Still working on improving my score… Hmm…

[Imami]

sleepy:

Imami:

Hmm... Looks like you are missing out citibank? Its another one with rebates. But there is a difference between may bank vs citibank and posb everyday card. May bank's rebate will offset against bill amount. Citibank and posb everyday's will chalk up and we need to tell the cashier at participating shops that we want to offset our rebates.

Which citibank card would you recommend?
I have the impression citibank charged annual fees. Is yours free?
I applied POSB everyday card specifically to pump petrol. At point of payment, petrol cashier will always ask if wanna offset. PUB only accepts recurring payment by POSB everyday card so I also 顺便 charge PUB bill since already applied for the card

I hv citibank smrt card, becos I mostly take mrt/bus when I go out for lunch on work days. This card has tie up with shop and save, giant etc. Other than the usual 5%, sometimes they offer promo like $5 virtual coupon if purchase over $30. So I would recommend this lor.

Dont think it's free but I believe u can always ask for fee waiver.

So u pump at spc? Do u pump at other petrol station? Do u find that spc's petrol like \"no power\"? I prefer shell, so whenever shell has promo on v power, I sure go there to pump!

[Imami]

sleepy:

SAHM_TAN:

The thing abt annual fees......my hubby has credit cards and when annual fees are due I will call bank to request to waive, I'm the PA on all administrative matters, and they do, SO why the annual fees?

No annual fee for other banks credit cards at point of application. And subsequent years also waive whenever I called

But citibank website always list annual fee at point of application le. So I dare not apply

No leh, I didn't pay anything when I just applied a new citibank card in dec12. Maybe things hv changed?

[Imami]

firefly38:

I just managed to catch up on all the posts in this thread.. I am overwhelmed with sadness (& anger) by the remarks made by a SAHM of her husband.. And WORSE, getting her children involved to take sides.. And WORST, having other SAHMs cheering for her here, in this and other threads, at KSP..


My hubby is working overseas.. At times, my DSs do ask (not complain) why Daddy never spend as much time with them, as Mummy does with them..

I tell my 2 DSs.. Daddy is working hard out there to bring home the money, so that you can have a nice house to stay in, and nice food to eat every day, and nice places to go to for holidays every year.. Becoz Daddy is working hard out there, Mummy can have the luxury of not working and hence able to spend more time with you all than Daddy does.. So, my 2 DSs adore their Daddy, even though my husband does not spend much time with them.. As they know, their Mummy loves and respects their Daddy so much for the sacrifices he makes for the family..

I have a MCQ question here for SAHMs (like in the Aunties' thread)..

Do you call your husband (the man whom you chose to marry and have children with) a \"Stupid Idiot\", \"Idiotic fellow\", \"Sickening man\", \"Mad Dog\" repeatedly (especially in a Public Forum)?

1. I would rather die.

2. I am not brainless hor.. If I call my husband a \"Mad Dog\", then my children must be \"Puppies\", then what would that make me out to be?!

3. Of course I do, as I need to make my husband shout at me, so that I can be angry and have an excuse to go shopping and spend his money to buy branded stuffs mah.

My answer is (1).. What about yours?

:hugs: chill chill.

I was rather surprised too by the series of events and what had transpired. My take is 进墨者黑。 sometimes somehow what we say is swayed by the group.

What you have been doing is right.

My answer is 1 and 2.