桃花谈

[MMM]

keroppi:

Insider, I've got a question for you.


Last year, we booked a Taiwan tour package. The trip was good but marred by the stop at the PiChu store. The sales people were quite persistent and wanted to know our bazi. Even though we told them we don't believe in such things cos of our religion, they said this fengshui thingy has nothing to do with religion and hence DH was somewhat swayed by them.

Then they told us some thing about our kids like one will meet with a car accident and very hua xing when he grows up & as much as I hate to admit, it sort of suck with me. Suppose to buy one pichu for him to zhuan yun but we didn't. Now when my DS comes back late, I am abit unnerved. How do I deal with it? So sian. Should never have stepped into the shop. :slapshead:

Hey we did that as part of our Taiwan tour too. In Taiwan, they call it tianlu. The tour leader told us this Zheng Laoshi from gugong, etc... must have affinity then can see her or get personal consultation, etc... as fate has it, we had \"affinity\" with her as my dd2 was being used in her example on how to read the 5 elements during the group session and she did the analysis for us personally after that....

Sorry not scaring you as I believe in Taiwan, there are many of such shops, etc... so not sure if everyone is accurate. But what the person at the shop in our case said was quite accurate based on the five elements analysis. Eg. she commented that my dd2 is very \"clever\" that sometimes we are also fooled by her.... Subsequently during the 1 to 1 session, she caution us that dd2 is very career minded type and as a result, her marriage might not be that good. So she should go for a older spouse.

She also enlighten dh and myself on our career, dd1 and ds on their future path. It was interesting for ds as she said that he will pursue something not so conventional/ more technical and we should have a open mind to support him. Well, he is very much into band and would tell me he wants to be a conductor, etc... Let's see. Overall, I found her analysis quite accurate for myself and constructive. I was tempted to buy the tianlu but dh was not keen. So in the end, I only bought a small tianlu for ds.

There are several of such shops in Singapore and the price is :yikes: Those in Taiwan is not cheap too... mid size is easily thousands while small is already hundreds.

In our group, there is this family which bought from them. They said that they believe and actually has couple others at home. For the rest, they bought the smaller ones like us.

[Gooby]

insider:

Maybe can watch the below first when free to reflect on what childhood can do for kiddos...



[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTU9cX0n60o][/youtube]

Hi Insider,

Thanks for your sharing on this thread and this video as well. Your sharing has been very insightful and strike a cord with me, as with many others.

Usually when I hear of such 'out of the norm' news, I will think a deeper level and tend to take pity on people like John Wayne Gacy. I feel especially sad towards the last part at 32.42. When he was finally caught. While booking him, the police ask 'Where were you born?' and he replied, 'born in a state of confusion'.

How suffering to been born with a split personality or bipolar disorder etc. and leading a double life all these while. I can't imagine a young child growing up having confusion about his own sexual orientation and personality and having to face all these and walk this path alone. He must have been struggling very hard within since young. How sad when you are left struggling alone without any help to guide you. Not his family, siblings, wives, friends etc. How could someone be both an angel and a devil to such extreme.

I feel sad for him and the lost lives of the 33 young boys and men whom he killed. On the bright side, I believe this is his objective in this life. Allowing society and people to take notice and understand more about the existence of such extreme people and provide the right help.

Like what insider said, all of us are born with good and bad seeds. Right and wrong is only separated by a thin line. For people like him, they can either do very wonderful deeds or create castastrophe to the world. His bad seeds and dark side was too strong to overcome.

His absusive father definitely does not know of the 'multiplier effect' that we are talking about. This event happened in the 70s, society was still very conservative. How was he able to share and get help on his confused sexual orientation with anybody.

Many people are constantly struggling within themselves and suffering in silence and in desperate need of help to bring them back to the right path.

Given a choice, I do not think he enjoy taking other people's lives and causing grief and shame to his family and the many people his hurt..

[Giggler1]

Finally finished reading the thread within 2 days.


I would like to thank Insider and the rest who shared their stories.

A lot of things on my mind now and I would need to go through the stories again to digest some of the great pointers.

Feel really fortunate to chance upon this thread and trying to find out how the stories here can help to solve my problems.

Thanks again

[Imami]

insider:

Just go and buy a PiChu (What's that huh?)

that is 貔貅

[Imami]

MMM:

keroppi:

。。。 the PiChu。。。

In Taiwan, they call it tianlu.

The difference between天祿 and 貔貅 lies with the horns. 天祿 has one horn. 貔貅 has two.

[insider]

Imami:

[

The difference between天祿 and 貔貅 lies with the horns. 天祿 has one horn. 貔貅 has two.

errr....honestly I have heard of all these but never really know how they look like...

Maybe just put a hornless insider in a house can also 避邪... (kekeke...)

[Imami]

MintyMin:

ammonite:

He copies because he just wants to get it over and done with. You must try to explain to him that if he does that, the same question mark will crop up again and again, and he is just wasting his own time and effort. The fastest way through is to master the material once and for all. His short cut is the long cut.


Make sure of course that he is not too tired or has too much at one go.

Thanks.

Lots for me to learn.. esp the way i talk n handle my kids.. I wan to be able to tok to them in peace mode n not flared.. tried to suppress it a few times.. but seems so hard.. esp when i m bz...

MintyMin:

It dawn on me that the shoutings n screamings tat i did over the past years.. somehow.. ds is showing it back.. to me n dds.. i feel so bad tat i have somehow 'cultivate' this 'monster' in him..

:hugs: MintyMin.

Each day, we as parents learn something new. Don’t be overly hard on yourself.

When I am busy and in the “do not disturb” mode, I would tell my son,”mummy talk to you later.”. If he doesn’t get it and continue to rattle on, I would repeat the same thing louder. He usually get it at my second try.

Don’t scream at the kids. I know how hard it is but please do try – don’t scream at the kid. When I was screaming/venting (during my dark days), I don’t scream at my son too. Raise your voice a little louder if you really need, but don’t scream. Sooner or later, you will find yourself at the losing end because (1) the kids would get immune to it and (2) they follow you and scream at other people.

Try to talk to your DS. Have a heart to heart talk to sort out the common issues. Recently I have a heart to heart talk with my son as I think he is getting a little unruly. While he is not entirely out of it, I can see that he is trying and that by itself, is good enough. Think of it this way, if it is so difficult for me to change overnight, how can I expect him to change overnight?

[Imami]

concern2:

Is this why it takes the 'right time' and 'right place', the 'right person' then can work - so-called \"缘\"？

From what I observed, the salesmen always succeed in making sales if they continue to knock at the doors. But must have tactic la, if not kenna whack by angry folks.

The right person say/do the right thing at the right time is very important and I believe there is always a time for something to happen.

When I counsel people, I don’t make them feel that their thinking is wrong or they are at fault. Once they sense it (that you are saying they are wrong), they clamp up and that’s it – the door to their soul is closed. I always start by getting them to talk and make a mental note of things I feel that is 转牛角尖。Then I try to rationalize their action/thoughts by saying,”oh, you like that because….”. This will help them to sort their thoughts out without making them feel that we are judging them. When one thinks that he is not being judged upon, one is more willing to share one’s thoughts and they would open up the ‘mental/emotional wall’. It is when they open up their wall that we can gently nudge them in the right direction. A lot of patience is needed too.

[Imami]

insider:

Maybe just put a hornless insider in a house can also 避邪... (kekeke...)

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[MintyMin]

Imami:

:hugs: MintyMin.

Each day, we as parents learn something new. Don’t be overly hard on yourself.

When I am busy and in the “do not disturb” mode, I would tell my son,”mummy talk to you later.”. If he doesn’t get it and continue to rattle on, I would repeat the same thing louder. He usually get it at my second try.

Don’t scream at the kids. I know how hard it is but please do try – don’t scream at the kid. When I was screaming/venting (during my dark days), I don’t scream at my son too. Raise your voice a little louder if you really need, but don’t scream. Sooner or later, you will find yourself at the losing end because (1) the kids would get immune to it and (2) they follow you and scream at other people.

Try to talk to your DS. Have a heart to heart talk to sort out the common issues. Recently I have a heart to heart talk with my son as I think he is getting a little unruly. While he is not entirely out of it, I can see that he is trying and that by itself, is good enough. Think of it this way, if it is so difficult for me to change overnight, how can I expect him to change overnight?

Thanks Imami.. totally agree... esp the part tat you mentioned tat i've highlighted in RED

When i say.. talk to you later.. they will reply.. later i forget already.. n when i m avail to tok n ask them wat is it that they wan to tell me.. they will get upset tat they have forgotten abt it.. n blame me.. :sad: n most of the time if ds back off either dd1 or dd2 will be the next to want to tok to me.. or complain or fuss abt stuff.. :frustrated:

I can suppress once or twice over the short 30mins.. but if it is 3 times of it.. i flared.. n i noe.. tatz not a good reason to flare.. but i can't help it.. sigh..

So tis days.. i will tell myself... 忍忍忍... duno if tis is good or not.. but ever since reading the postings by Insider n you n others... i realised not ez.. but still have to do..