2013 PSLE Discussions and Strategy
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ScaredyMum:
Please dont \"punish\" him if you see his efforts put in preparing for the CA. Honestly, it's really a rush into CA and kids are still not too bothered about it yet.Thanks \"bud\", yeah cancelling our date will not only hurt him, I reckon I will oso feel hurt and probably regret my decision after that and live in remorse/guilt again.
How else will you \"punish\" or encourage/motivate your DC if they dun keep up to expectations?
Try not to get too emo over CA and take it as a warm up exercise to PSLE. As for me I don't look too much into the grades scored but the difficulty level of the paper and the child's strength in and effort put into the subject. If you keep harping his poor grades in CA, he may feel very disappointed with himself especially if he had put in the effort. Getting good grades now and being complacent or over confident is worse. There are still 2 more \"ëxercises\" to go, SA1 and prelim, so not to worry too much about this CA. Hope you feeling better. -
Mama Mania:
Yes also might make him feel very demoralized, and that will only make it worse. Although I must admit that its difficult not to get upset when PSLE is so near.
Please dont \"punish\" him if you see his efforts put in preparing for the CA. Honestly, it's really a rush into CA and kids are still not too bothered about it yet.ScaredyMum:
Thanks \"bud\", yeah cancelling our date will not only hurt him, I reckon I will oso feel hurt and probably regret my decision after that and live in remorse/guilt again.
How else will you \"punish\" or encourage/motivate your DC if they dun keep up to expectations?
Try not to get too emo over CA and take it as a warm up exercise to PSLE. As for me I don't look too much into the grades scored but the difficulty level of the paper and the child's strength in and effort put into the subject. If you keep harping his poor grades in CA, he may feel very disappointed with himself especially if he had put in the effort. Getting good grades now and being complacent or over confident is worse. There are still 2 more \"ëxercises\" to go, SA1 and prelim, so not to worry too much about this CA. Hope you feeling better. -
recovered 10 pages....939 more to go.
Will have to do it when I have more time. :sad: -
TheAnswer:
I have a question. When your kids results dip, do u blame your tutor?
It really depends. Sometimes it might be that the child is very careless and made a lot of silly mistakes during the exams, for that i would not blame the tutor.
but if I go through the exam paper with my child and he tells me he dont know how to do when the tutor has explained alot of times to him, I will question the tutor and ask why is such thing happening and why she did not update me about me? Because I could have do more practices on it.
Again, there are times when kids forget how to do and not because they dont know how to do. This happened to me once 2 years ago and I questioned the tutor who came my place. My son actually lied to me that the tutor didnt go through with him and in turn i blame the tutor wrongly and sacked her. My son was afraid of my DH canning him for forgetting so he pushed all the blame to the tutor.
From then, I sent him to tuition centre instead. turns out to be good for him.
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Nutty mum:
Hi Scaredymum,
I believe most parents once had this experience before, ie \"angry, depressed and worried.\" So you are not the only soul out there.ScaredyMum:
Can't help feeling disappointed with DS CA EL results (others dunno yet :xedfingers: )... He made some good progress last year after SA1 but this CA he plunged again... :sad:
Whole night I was angry, depressed and worried. Haven't get the papers back yet so dunno what went wrong (careless or really dunno). I retired early last night to avoid blasting at him. I am \"afraid\" I may blast at him or cane him when I see the papers.
I promised him I will bring him out for a \"one-to-one-date\" during the March hols (not counting another weekend out). Now I am considering if I should break the promise to \"punish\" him for the lousy work he produced. What do other parents think? Do you all let your P6 kids take a break during the Mar hols or still study as usual?
IMO, before you do anything nasty, please look at the EL paper first to determine if the English teacher/school has intentionally set a higher standard paper, how the children fare in his class, are they also getting similar low marks, how perhaps have a chat with this EL teacher to find out yr DS's recent performance.
As for my DS who was P6 last year, there were no breaks during March as there were pretty much to catch up like revising subjects that he did not perform well and also pile of HW from school to do to prepare for the PSLE.
But having said that, pls take not that every child is different.
I hope you won't scold or cane your son...
If you have the time, you might find it worthwhile to read what Insider share with us: copy from another forum
\"insider\t
Post subject: Re: 桃花谈Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:18 am
KiasuGrandMaster
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:17 am
Posts: 2076
ammonite wrote:
Insider,
I really like your post on unconditional love. Since your son was the smart fun loving type, can I ask if he ever got into trouble with teachers, bored in class, and how you dealt with that?
errr....son seemed to be in frequent troubles in schools (pr and sec)!
whenever I got 'summoned', I just took the 'complaints' calmly. Think all the time I didn't allow myself to 'explode' immediately after the summon. I would let the 'feedback' sank into me at least for a few hours before I talked to him and listened to him. Coz of the faith I had in him that those 'complaints' were 'passing phases', I just mentored and shared my views and then we moved on...
I feel the efforts to 'HOLD' 'EXPLOSION' is a virtue that all may want to practise coz most kiddos will really appreciate that (coz they are expecting nagging/scolding but end up receiving none of these). After the 'fury' subsides, words that come out from one's mouth are usually 'kinder' and 'more reasonable'. Just never allow yourself to start the 'machine gun' mindlessly coz this will do more harm than good = better don't do...
Below I shared in Y2011:
insider wrote:
My son joined his sister in the school when she was in P3. For this sotong son, I packed his bag for about a week then I hands off.
Three months into school, I got summoned to school to listen to teacher’s feedback about he couldn’t sit still, walked around, talked to peers, etc while lessons were on. Teacher asked me to send him for ADHD assessement.
I went for the assessment and results were negative.
So this son went into his primary school journey not so smoothly.
He had short concentration span, playful, mischievous, always got tricks up his sleeves. I understand him well that he wasn’t one of those who could perform well academically.
Just like what I told my daughter, I told him the same thing that as long as he maintained an average score of 70, mum would leave him alone. For him, I did coach in his spelling and ting xie if I could remember… (coz the dates changed now and then that sometimes I lose track). Also like his sister, completing homework and passed up were bare minimum that they had to do. For this, son never disappointed me before.
Son sailed through his P1 and P2 smoothly (remember average scores about 90 coz he had a solid preschool education in my centres and he was ready in his lower primary languages and maths).
He was stronger in his maths but weak in his languages. He hated Chinese. P3 Science he did Ok Ok.
By end of P5, his other subjects average 70 and his Chinese was in the 48 – 50 range. Then, I started his Chinese tuition for about 10 months in Jiang Tuition Centre to prepare for PSLE. Those 10 months, I worked once a week on his compo and general Chinese.
Son got into many troubles when he was in Hong Wen and I was summoned to school several times to listen to teachers’ complaints. He was punished many times for reasons that I didn’t know when his sister told me ‘always can see di di standing outside the classroom’.
I shared in my other posts before, that teachers liked to make this comment to him, “You are xxx’s brother? I don’t believe. You are so different from her! You should learn from your sister. You should this… You should that… etc, etc, etc.” Of course I know he would feel hurt but I didn’t intervene coz I believed he had enough internal strength to sail these insults through coz they are facts anyway!
He told me when he was bigger that he was ‘famous’ in school. Canteen hawkers and bookshop auntie all were very friendly to him and he was able to ‘owe’ them money when he forgot to bring money to school, meaning could buy and eat without having to pay first. The security guard knew him well as well. Of course the Disciplinary Master knew about him too. Even the principal knew him by name. While during dinner time a few months back, he told everyone at the table that it was ‘normal’ for him to be sent by the teachers to the principal’s office and did homework in front of the principal! Hahaha…, he was indeed ‘famous’!
Son was in and out of numerous CCAs (most ‘impressive’ one was to be sacked from Chinese Orchestra coz more like a nuisance when he anyhow hit the drums) and he finally settled down at Rope Skipping which he thoroughly enjoyed. He was also active in track and field items and in all sorts of fund raising organization.
Son still keeps close contact with a few of his primary school friends. These kids still come to my house sometimes though they are from different schools since Sec 1. When my two elder kids were in Hong Wen, we just lived in the HDB right next to the school and so it was common for these kids to come to my place to ‘chill out’. I see these kids from very small till now growing taller than me.
I am a ‘reasonable’ mother and I know my son well. I don’t really work on his academics coz he is like the late bloomer type and if I were to ‘force’, the outcome maybe much better results but maybe at the expense of my close relationship with him and at a further expense of changing him into someone whom he is not in the first place. These are something that I would not trade with anything else on earth. He is a sunshine boy with a kind heart and my faith of he will find his own way one day is strong enough not to let me pile him with tuitions or tons of assessment to meet the ‘market’s KPI’. I am more into his character development, that to guide him firmly but gently not to go astray is the most important thing.
Son sotong sotong happy lucky passed through his primary school life. Despite all the punishments, he loves Hong Wen and ever said that was one of the best parts of his life, and that he would repeat it all over again if there were a chance.
I shall repeat here again that I think Hong Wen prepared kids well enough for PSLE. For a sotong son like this who only did his bare minimum of completing school homework (incl all given assessment papers), only with 10 months Chinese tuition, minimal assessment books and coaching from me, he scored 4 As in his PSLE (can’t remember whether T score is a 218 or 228). BTW, he was in one of the bottom classes with all the ‘players’ having fun since P4. In the eyes of other parents, they may shake heads when seeing these ‘naughty children’.
The day when we collected his PSLE results, we had a celebration that was happier than his sister’s 261. This son, though sotong sotong and kena so many lefts and rights in school, still had to figure out on own to get those 4As...
Therefore, my thankfulness to Hong Wen, for giving my two elder kids one of the best times of their lives. My family will forever be thankful and if there’s a need for fund raising or anything that we can contribute, we shall gladly support so… (my kids are 知恩图报 kind of people. From the way they still speak so fondly of the school till now, when they grow up and if they can make enough, I am confident that they will contribute back to the school.)
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Thanks all mummies for all the encouragment, consolation and \"counselling\". Yes, that was precisely why I retired myself to the room quietly last night after he told me the marks becos I knew I would get angry and say/do things I may regret.
Keeping \"Janet_Lee88\" advice in mind to look at the BIG picture (PSLE), I also do not want to discouraged/demoralised him if I were to reprimand him without seeing the actual paper.
It is difficult not to feel disappointed though, cos of the amount of effort/$$ that I have put in to help. His tutor has also done alot for him and she too was shocked by the marks. And yes, with PSLE just few months down the road, how to not get depressed, worried, panicky
@Xiao Hu, thanks for sharing Insider's story. I do agree with most of what she said. The difference though, is maybe my DS is not as smart as hers. If my DS can get average 70 for most/all subjects, I would probably be happy to leave it as that. On a hindsight, if her DS avg 70 = 218 or 228 in PSLE, I can't imagine what mine will be! :scared: :nailbite:
DS also gets into \"trouble\" with his teachers frequently since P3. But, his was mostly either he has forgot to do (some) of his homework, did not hand up, lost his worksheets, untidiness/carelessness in his work etc. Not so much with being playful yet still can maintain results. So the concern is slightly different here.
He is generally a kind and good boy, but he's simply too laid back and living in his own world.... haiz, spoke to him many many times but still the same lei. Just wish I have a magic wand that can knock some sense/wake him up :nunchuk:
I have spoken to his tutor and we are going to tweak the way he works a little bit and see if it helps. -
I just did a search...discussions on 2013 PSLE started wayyyyy back in Oct 2011!!
First post at Pg 471 of the wrongly merged thread.
And I'm only done till Pg 930.... :faint: -
Wah still got loads of back log, how to finish homework like this..
Bro, SOS Bungii. See if she got shorter way.
She oso helped me one time with a funny I.T. episode.
Share with you another time. -
My son in P6 last year was still immature, thinks he had all the time in the world. Refused to get tuition work done, or else select easy way out. CL compo anyhow do…handwriting was atrocious.
School exams are always more difficult. That’s their way to wake up kids.
But there is no excuse to say ‘difficult’ and that’s it. We can see the paper first, decide which are really difficult and those careless mistakes. Calculate those careless ones and show kids how much MORE he/she could have got. As for tricky questions, work through and explain so that if they face similar ones in future, they know what to do. Sometimes, it could be a play of words. -
buds:
here's no way we are trying for DSA of any kind. DD does not have the makings for ambitious routes. We are happy as long as she can pass. Going to express would be a bonus.
As both DD and her sister are polar opposites, their best efforts towards their academic achievements have always been our priority and as much as possible we try (hard and forget some times but must really try) to remind ourselves that their best IS good enough... for if we observe the work they put into their extra time, we will know they have put in their best foot forward. Some kids despite putting double the work can still only achieve slightly more than usual or the same... you know that's where their best is. As such, we are realistic not to set expectations on her and hope P6 can be a year she can have fond memories of school and teachers and friends. We are also not looking at top sec schs.
All kids have different abilities. We have to be realistic in term of expectations & setting of target. It is the effort that they put in that matter. Remember to give your child lot of encouragement & hugs if she did her best. She might not be good in studies, she might be talented in music or art. You could help her to discover her own strength or talent & she can be successful in her own way. All the best to your DS!
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