don't really know how to talk to wife
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BeContented:
not true...my DH's SIL very big size....act cute n her fav gesture is to whisper to her husband.Her husband likes it leh....treat her like godness
But sometimes, for someone big & chunky like me, who is hardly demure.....both of us will puke :sick: if I act cute or 嗲。 :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Once saw her 嗲 my PIL,act cute n stamp her feets while walking.DH so worry she would spoil the staircase -
Contrary to popular beliefs, to be 嗲, it's not necessary to fake a 娃娃音 or dress sexily
(or stamp feet :rotflmao: in vinegar's example)
You can speak in your usual tone la, just be milder and never never talk louder than your hubby.
And of course try to be a little more excessive & expressive on the 甜言蜜语 aspect :snuggles: -
Some men don’t like the ‘cute and childish’ tone and style - my husband is one of them! But words of affirmation and giving attention are very important to him. He doesn’t like to think that he plays 2nd fiddle to the kids, especially now they are teens and should be more independent, so I make time to listen to him when he wants to talk to me, and tell the kids to wait. When they were smaller, I would set them something to do so I could give him a few minutes, at least. I would say that the main thing is to know what your huband likes and responds positively to, and a good book to read is Chapman’s "Five Love Languages". There’s a website too, I think. Similarly, not all women react the same way - gifts don’t do much for me at all, but I appreciate consideration and attention.
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slmkhoo:
gifts don't do much for me at all, but I appreciate consideration and attention.
Same here. Not high on gifts.
I prefer act of service. So I feel love when he's helping out in house chores, buy food for me, make my morning coffee and bedtime milo for me. And of course I like plenty of his attention :please:
He always says he got the shorter end of the stick. Because he needs to sweat (iron, mopping, wash dishes) to make me feel love but I only need to sweet talk him & no need to scrub floor :rotflmao: -
sleepy:
DH helps out in hsework occasionally.Morning coffee or bedtime milo for me?Next life i think :sad: .....I even hv to cook for him n sent him to work, during my pregnancy.slmkhoo:
gifts don't do much for me at all, but I appreciate consideration and attention.
Same here. Not high on gifts.
I prefer act of service. So I feel love when he's helping out in house chores, buy food for me, make my morning coffee and bedtime milo for me. And of course I like plenty of his attention :please:
He always says he got the shorter end of the stick. Because he needs to sweat (iron, mopping, wash dishes) to make me feel love but I only need to sweet talk him & no need to scrub floor :rotflmao: -
the only good point abt my DH…he nvr bother how much i spend…coz i’ll nvr burst his credit card…n nvr buy any branded goods or jewellery.
It took yrs for me to gain his trust in sharing his financial.That’s worth more than any expensive gift. -
vinegar:
Yes, do look for his good traits and don't compare with others. Every couple has to find a balance that works, and it won't be the same as others. My husband has NEVER cooked after the first few mths of marriage as his cooking is really bad. He is always willing to buy back or go out if I say so though. He doesn't do cleaning or laundry either (he used to mop floors when the kids were young, but hasn't done so for a while), but he runs errands, handles finances, does a lot of the family paperwork etc. Even though I don't do a lot of those things myself, he does run his ideas by me for my opinion and tries to keep me informed of what's happening (if I don't know, it's my fault as I'm forgetful!). My only issue with this is that we have fallen into a very 'traditional' sharing of roles, and I don't want my girls to think that is the way things have to be. We tell them that it can be different, but I'm sure it still influences their thinking.the only good point abt my DH....he nvr bother how much i spend...coz i'll nvr burst his credit card....n nvr buy any branded goods or jewellery.
It took yrs for me to gain his trust in sharing his financial.That's worth more than any expensive gift. -
sleepy:
If i were to do that in the public, running my fingers through him or caress his cheek in the public,
Words of affirmation must be coupled with physical touch, plenty of physical touch.
Say for instance when drinking coffee or having meals, I always choose to sit next to him if the restaurant seating allows. Then while we're having a conversation, I can trace my finger along his forearm or caress his cheek at the same time.
i am certain that he would stare at me, thinking that i am :siao:...LoL
Hub certainly dont like me to react such in public areas.....hence cant work on him...
For words of affirmation .....Yes, i absolutely agree.....sleepy:
Hmm....i will not act spoiled or childish lah....but appropriately and timely...Don't be afraid to act spoiled and childish with him. ..will hug his back (physical touch) and say thank you for helping with the dishes (words of affirmation), plant a kiss (physcial touch) at his back and then bounce back to my room to continue surfing kiasuparents
Or demand him to 抱抱 while he's in the middle of making milk for kids or during tv commerical breaks or even interrupt him when he's playing games on his windows phone.
i will not \"skimp\" on my words of appreciation... especially when he does the cooking for us....
He has the passion for cooking, so he often 下厨 to try out new recipes or juz doing the normal meals ....
so of coz....i must show my appreciation for his effort....by words n by action
demand to 抱抱 ?? Err....these words sound familiar to me....
But not from me.....fr him...maybe he is more free than me when he's at home...
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Donch ask him something and after he responded, you reply ‘are you sure?’. If you are not going to believe him, donch ask!
And if he is fixing something, donch ever ask ‘are you sure you knowing how to do it?’, even if it looks destined to fail. Donch ever hurt his ego coz he was confident before he started and already very pissed when he can’t get it right. Just repackage it to ‘let me know if you need help’
Even though these days the wives are bringing home $$$ too, we are wired to be the head of the household even if our importance has been diminished. Some calls we made may not be perfect but if there’s hardly any damage done, then donch harp on it. Peace and harmony more important -
sleepy:
He always says he got the shorter end of the stick. Because he needs to sweat (iron, mopping, wash dishes) to make me feel love but I only need to sweet talk him & no need to scrub floor :rotflmao:
:rotflmao:
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