don't really know how to talk to wife

[sleepy]

Lavina:

Sometimes if i wake up earlier than him, i will sayang his face. And every morning, I will send him to the door, wish him good day, drive careful etc while waiting for the lift (learn from Korean drama).

:hi5:

[sleepy]

TheAnswer:

My DH shows his love only through acts of service. I rarely hear words of affirmation. When I complain, he will list down all the service which he did for me to shut me up. :wrongmove:

like this morning, he made plain porridge plus my favorite dishes to eat with me before I head off for my lessons
His 'I love You' are rare and few. His theory --> can't say too often if not no value :faint:

Is it possible that your dh's own love language is act of service? So from his perspective, he is doing what he believes to be the best way to show you his love. Whereas your love language is probably not act of service if you rather he sweet talk you than cook you porridge. Got to communicate to your dh what you like. The main point is to satisfy each other's love language


We exactly opposite from each other. My love language is act of service but my dh's love language is words of affirmation. Hence I don't focus on giving him act of service since it's my love language but not his. He hardly says I love you to me. I don't mind la because his action is louder than words to me.

[vinegar]

i find it hard to talk to my DH. When i express my feelings or opinion,he always judge me or treat it complaint.

[Jennifer]

vinegar:

i find it hard to talk to my DH. When i express my feelings or opinion,he always judge me or treat it complaint.

:hugs:

Mine has been very busy lately. Sat n Sun also stay inside the study room using the laptop. When we go out, his eyes are fixated on the iPhone and the fingers are busy typing away. Other times, his mind seems far away.

I read that healthy husband n wife relationship is important for a family and is a role model for the children. In ours, I think it is more important for me to be less harsh with my younger boy in order to have a healthy spouse relationship.

Still working on it.

My younger boy is sitting for PSLE this year. I will be freed soon. I intend to return to the work force next year. Any job is better than staying at home. Maybe doing so will improve all forms of relationship.

加油 to those of us who are facing some issues.

[TheAnswer]

sleepy:

Lavina:

Sometimes if i wake up earlier than him, i will sayang his face. And every morning, I will send him to the door, wish him good day, drive careful etc while waiting for the lift (learn from Korean drama).

:hi5:

I think I should try this too. Last night DH mentioned that I is not sweet enough. He says now he feels more stressed at work so it would be nice if I try to be sweeter. So I guess I will try the above and maybe learn from Cecilia Sue too? Seriously, I am not sure how to be sweet. Hmm.. I need to find someone to teach me. Any masters to follow here?
Guys also need their wife to sweet talk them. :faint:

[vinegar]

Jennifer:

vinegar:

i find it hard to talk to my DH. When i express my feelings or opinion,he always judge me or treat it complaint.

:hugs:

Mine has been very busy lately. Sat n Sun also stay inside the study room using the laptop. When we go out, his eyes are fixated on the iPhone and the fingers are busy typing away. Other times, his mind seems far away.

I read that healthy husband n wife relationship is important for a family and is a role model for the children. In ours, I think it is more important for me to be less harsh with my younger boy in order to have a healthy spouse relationship.

Still working on it.

My younger boy is sitting for PSLE this year. I will be freed soon. I intend to return to the work force next year. Any job is better than staying at home. Maybe doing so will improve all forms of relationship.

加油 to those of us who are facing some issues.

thks for ur encouragement :hugs: does ur DH support ur decision?

so envy u...it is difficult for me to go bk to workforce.DH does not support me.Without his support,in terms of sharing hsework n taking care of kids,would be difficult for me to go bk to work.

All along,i've prob communicating wf my DH.Getting him to support me is very difficult. :frustrated: Recently,he changed a bit but still hv long way to go.

Even he agrees verbally,but his action do not match his words.He forever cannot make decision,i don't know why.No yes or no kinda answer,i think it is bcoz he is afraid of taking responsibility to his decision. how to deal wf this kinda ppl? :slapshead:

[TheAnswer]

sleepy:

TheAnswer:

My DH shows his love only through acts of service. I rarely hear words of affirmation. When I complain, he will list down all the service which he did for me to shut me up. :wrongmove:

like this morning, he made plain porridge plus my favorite dishes to eat with me before I head off for my lessons
His 'I love You' are rare and few. His theory --> can't say too often if not no value :faint:

Is it possible that your dh's own love language is act of service? So from his perspective, he is doing what he believes to be the best way to show you his love. Whereas your love language is probably not act of service if you rather he sweet talk you than cook you porridge. Got to communicate to your dh what you like. The main point is to satisfy each other's love language


We exactly opposite from each other. My love language is act of service but my dh's love language is words of affirmation. Hence I don't focus on giving him act of service since it's my love language but not his. He hardly says I love you to me. I don't mind la because his action is louder than words to me.

Hey Sleepy, you got that all right. My DH always tells me actions speak louder than words. He reminds me of his actions sometimes. He says think of what he does for me when I feel insecure. Got once he gave an example. He asked me if I wanted him to say 'I love you' on one day and ignore me on the rest of the days or show his love through acts of service regularly. Obviously I chose the latter. I can't be that silly to take the first option. Oh well, I just have to remind myself that acts of service is his spoken love language. Still learning

[vinegar]

TheAnswer:

So I guess I will try the above and maybe learn from Cecilia Sue too? Seriously, I am not sure how to be sweet. Hmm.. I need to find someone to teach me. Any masters to follow here?
Guys also need their wife to sweet talk them. :faint:

learn fr Cecilia Sue?I think Ng Boon Gay found excitement n thrill fr.meeting her n hv :censored: wf her secretly. We don't hv time to do that le.

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

vinegar:

i find it hard to talk to my DH. When i express my feelings or opinion,he always judge me or treat it complaint.

:hugs:

Mine has been very busy lately. Sat n Sun also stay inside the study room using the laptop. When we go out, his eyes are fixated on the iPhone and the fingers are busy typing away. Other times, his mind seems far away.

I read that healthy husband n wife relationship is important for a family and is a role model for the children. In ours, I think it is more important for me to be less harsh with my younger boy in order to have a healthy spouse relationship.

Still working on it.

My younger boy is sitting for PSLE this year. I will be freed soon. I intend to return to the work force next year. Any job is better than staying at home. Maybe doing so will improve all forms of relationship.

加油 to those of us who are facing some issues.

Vinegar,
Your DH may have some preconceived ideas related to the reactions in the past. My DH sometimes is also like that. Worry too much then dun want to share with me. Need strategy to break that shell of theirs to enter into their inner world. Previously, DH thought I was negative, so stressful situations he withhold from me cos he thinks I give him more stress if he shares. Keep your positive energy up, he may open up to share with you eventually.

Jennifer,
How come your DH is so addicted to his phone? Kinda unhealthy. My DH doesn't allow me to use my phone when we are spending time together. He always stares when I take out my phone during dinner. No phones allowed. Have to chat with him otherwise he says no more dinner or shopping or dates allowed. I'm disciplined by him cos I'm a lot more workaholic than him. If he doesn't control, I continue with my work in his presence.

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

TheAnswer:

So I guess I will try the above and maybe learn from Cecilia Sue too? Seriously, I am not sure how to be sweet. Hmm.. I need to find someone to teach me. Any masters to follow here?
Guys also need their wife to sweet talk them. :faint:

learn fr Cecilia Sue?I think Ng Boon Gay found excitement n thrill fr.meeting her n hv :censored: wf her secretly. We don't hv time to do that le.

I just need to sweet talk DH. But how? Already mid 30s still need to sweet talk. :siao: