桃花谈

[sleepy]

insider:

sleepy:

He doesn't withdraw cash from our joint account although he does charge his debit card purchase to that bank.

So do I still need to have say a FD in my single name to be counted as 私房钱? The more in my name more luck for him?

Thanks so much for your advice

sleepy,

your husband is good enough lah.

dont need to open specially a separate account under your name coz you hv full access of the money in the joint account

This 私房钱 is not really for the wife to keep 'secretly' but rather a sign of the husband willing to give his money to be put under the care of his wife...(the 'intent' of 私房钱 = wife has control

I request a favour from you sleepy. I would like you to share about your family's background, as in your relationships with your parents and siblings (if there's any) as well as your husband's family background.

Do take your time to write your 'homework' if you arekind enough to share

TQ!

Hi,
Just wondering how is my family background, relationship with siblings, dh family background related 私房钱?

[sleepy]

insider:

2. Go tell your brother about your gratitude towards him. Why you so stingy huh? He deserves it right?

Really you must go thank him (this one gives blessings)...

...

:thankyou: for your advice

Will verbalise my gratitude. Been thanking him in my heart but always too shy to tell him personally

[insider]

sleepy:

Hi,
Just wondering how is my family background, relationship with siblings, dh family background related 私房钱?

Errr... you think it's so easy for your husband to give you almost like full control of money??

This one also is you 修来的... (usually you need to have positive energy around you and such are reflected partly via your own family background to have this 福 to have control of his money. When he allows you to control his money, he also has his own 福 = positive energy bouncing in your house when this area is concerned).

I asked about your family background just to 'validate' my guess, that your own family should be quite a 'cordial' one for you to earn that 'control'...

Don't take it for granted hor....

PS:
Readers, some of us are not borne in 'cordial' families and so we may not have the 'base luck' like sleepy (or even flametree whom I suspect also has cordial family coz her husband is similar to sleepy's...).

However, we should strive to give our own kiddos that kind of 'cordial' families to grow up in, so that they can have a higher chance of having better 福分, better 'base luck' for the years ahead.

We cannot change who our parents are, but we definitely can choose to be what kind of parents we want to be.

Let's work harder!

[insider]

sleepy:

:thankyou: for your advice

Will verbalise my gratitude. Been thanking him in my heart but always too shy to tell him personally

To thank someone gives someone blessings and it could be this blessing that can activate his 'child seed'.

When you thank him, esp all this while you have been 'shy' to express such 'mushy' things, he is likely to feel 'odd' but at the same time feel appreciated and loved. This is an 'emotional sensation' and this sensation has 'activation' power (anything that moves our heart's emotion has positive 'activation' power)

So never be 'stingy' in showering people with your gratitude if they deserve. Small things but then we don't know what kind of positive things the other can get...

If you thank him and really activates his 'child seed' and he gets a child, you score positive points too! (of course here I am not talking about you thank him to score points but trying to demo the theory of you will get when you give and also we should always try to give instead of always waiting to be given...)

PS:

errr....this 'power' also applies to 'curses'...

My another key Guiding Principle:

要活在别人的祝福中，不要活在别人的诅咒中......(so I always try to be good...)

[vinegar]

要活在别人的祝福中，不要活在别人的诅咒中


good one...thks insider.... :love: really learn a lot fr u....hv been repeatedly reading ur posts. I think i am a bit dumb...keep reading,keep forgetting

[vinegar]

insider,

Sometx,we meet nasty ppl, for e.g. inconsiderate driver,unreasonable elderly who cut quene..etc..My son always asks:why this people like that? will they go to hell?

i tried to explain to him abt karma,not sure whether he understands. Other than that,i asked him what he learnt fr. here,for e.g.knowing it's caused inconvenience n unhappiness to others,we shld not do that.Don't do to others if we don't wanna other to do onto us...basic form of respect.

Is this the correct way to teach n guide our children?

[newuser]

I must admit that i threw my temper really badly today.

I banged the table to vest my anger.
Although I knew this was inappropriate but I did it. Out of control.

My DS failed his exam badly…And he felt okay with it.
He isn’t remorseful that he doesn’t put in effort in his study which lead him to today scores…I was upset with his behavior .


I guess I have activated more of his bad seeds.

[Imami]

newuser:

I must admit that i threw my temper really badly today.

I banged the table to vest my anger.
Although I knew this was inappropriate but I did it. Out of control.

My DS failed his exam badly....And he felt okay with it.
He isn't remorseful that he doesn't put in effort in his study which lead him to today scores....I was upset with his behavior .


I guess I have activated more of his bad seeds.

Hi newuser, I hope u are feeling more calm by now.

Is it out of control or don't want to control? I have fiery temper too. Still hv but under control at most time. When it comes to flaring temper, u need to consciously tell yourself to hold a firm grip on it.

How old is your son? Need this to better understand his behavior. Did u ask him why he thinks it is ok?

[Imami]

insider:

Imami:

[quote=\"insider\"] to 修 and 修

For people who are not vegetarian, don't 诵经拜佛， how to 修？

errr....personally i dont 诵经拜佛 at all coz those are considered 'rituals' to me.

more important is to practise (修) those things that are important to be a good person (仁) and these things are usually written in 佛经.

That's why I read a lot of 佛理 and try to understand a lot on what certain 佛经 is trying to teach, then I attempt to digest and practice.

When I am older, maybe I will start to 诵经, coz by then I think I would have understood more of the 经 and so when I start to chant, it will become more meaningful.

Another thing is about 拜佛.

Actually I dont quite get this meaning of 拜佛 coz as far as I know, I am the 佛 (my honest understanding). So 拜佛 to me actually means to empower the deepest sense of 仁慈 that I am capable of within myself (佛性).

As said, I don't go to temple often and the temple is in my heart.

I just read and reflect a lot...I think the more appropriate term for me to use is I 参佛 and not really 拜佛.

You catch the ball?[/quote]Er... I need to find out/read up on what is \"我就是佛\" And \" 参佛＂.

I notice how your replies to me always have 仁 and it is always very consistent - Build the 仁慈 in me.

[dolphinsiah]

newuser:

I must admit that i threw my temper really badly today.

I banged the table to vest my anger.
Although I knew this was inappropriate but I did it. Out of control.

My DS failed his exam badly....And he felt okay with it.
He isn't remorseful that he doesn't put in effort in his study which lead him to today scores....I was upset with his behavior .


I guess I have activated more of his bad seeds.

I fully understand why you lost your temper...especially when your child feels there is nothing wrong in doing badly in the tests.

After lecturing and screaming to my children on their not so good result.....I will always tell them ...I am not lecturing them for the seek of nagging.....

This is because I am worry about their education.... :scared:

I do not go around lecturing their friends or other children on their school work or results.... :rant:

I told them lecturing and screaming is bad for my karma...but do I have a choice....? :skeptical:

Now they are in their Teens...they more or less understand ....(I hope)