Club SAHM

[TheAnswer]

KSmom8:

buds:

....and of course the occasional rants about big bosses and the work.. or the ppl he had to deal with as to which i would let him @$$ #&!* till he got them all out. :stompfeet: :rant: :frustrated: because this kind of thing if don't let out very terok wan.. he's a more relaxed daddy when he can let it all out. I must think of my kids.

Wise advice.

Recently, I was very busy with dinner and all, and didn't pay attention to DH's rants ... Plus, perhaps I really wasn't in the mood :oops: .... During dinner, DH started to pick and nag on DS1, then DS1 picked on DS2.... :yikes:

I hope they did not end up picking on you :spank: I also need to find time to listen to DH. I have been so occupied with CA1 and stuff that I didn't spend as much time with DH as I would like to.

[TheAnswer]

SAHM Chew,


I am relieved to know that you have reserves for 3 years. You are really a prudent wife, an example I can learn from. By the looks of the savings which I have now, the most it can only last my family 16 months.
At this moment, I think most importantly is to remain clear headed. Support your DH. It's probably mentally stressful being the sole breadwinner. My DH lost his job twice. Went through a spiral of depression and each round took quite some time to recover. His temper got edgy and everything annoys him. I remember it well. My brother also lost his job a few times. It wasn't easy for them. Men do feel lousy as their job is like their pride. Be strong for him, for your sons and for yourself. You will be able to get through it. :snuggles:

[KSmom8]

TheAnswer:

KSmom8:

[quote=\"buds\"]
....and of course the occasional rants about big bosses and the work.. or the ppl he had to deal with as to which i would let him @$$ #&!* till he got them all out. :stompfeet: :rant: :frustrated: because this kind of thing if don't let out very terok wan.. he's a more relaxed daddy when he can let it all out. I must think of my kids.

Wise advice.

Recently, I was very busy with dinner and all, and didn't pay attention to DH's rants ... Plus, perhaps I really wasn't in the mood :oops: .... During dinner, DH started to pick and nag on DS1, then DS1 picked on DS2.... :yikes:

I hope they did not end up picking on you :spank: I also need to find time to listen to DH. I have been so occupied with CA1 and stuff that I didn't spend as much time with DH as I would like to.[/quote]Nah... Kids wouldn't dare :spank: I'm a fierce mom.

Fortunately, DH didn't pick on me too!

Got them to stop it.... Not acceptable behaviour at the dining table. Yup, I can be pretty fierce.

[KSmom8]

SAHM Chew:

KSmom8:

[quote=\"TheAnswer\"]Ladies, how many months of reserves do you think we should set aside? I mean in terms of liquid cash.

I think this depends on the individual's comfort level. I believe the recommended level is at least 6 months, on the assumption that one can find another job within the 6 months.

I would rather say at least 1 yr if high income earner. At least 2 yrs if there is only one income.

We have been saving aggressively since DH is the sole income. Our savings can last 3 yrs if we maintain our current lifestyle. But despite this, I am still worried.

Worried about the uncertainty. Worried about that we could not save back the money that we have used since that is meant for retirement. [/quote]3 years of cash reserves is a good buffer. It's natural to feel worried, but try not to let it show to DH and kids. The mental and emotional well being of all in the family is more important.

Take care of yourself too! If you need to vent, let it out here... :hugs:

[ammonite]

SAHM Chew,

Lose some,gain some. You're in an okay enough position, don't worry excessively. I suggest giving yourself six months worry free period after your husband quits, if he goes ahead. If he is unable to get another job within this time, you can start looking into part time work as an intermediate fall back measure. I find having a time frame to work with helpful for me. You can consider.

[Funz]

SAHM Chew:

I would rather say at least 1 yr if high income earner. At least 2 yrs if there is only one income.

We have been saving aggressively since DH is the sole income. Our savings can last 3 yrs if we maintain our current lifestyle. But despite this, I am still worried.

Worried about the uncertainty. Worried about that we could not save back the money that we have used since that is meant for retirement.

3 yrs buffer is pretty comfortable. Whatever you dip into for the time being can be earned back. All it means is that your retirement timeframe may have to shift a little.

Worrying is normal. I know I wake up at night with heart palpitations, imagining the worst case scenario. And mind you, I am working and still there is that fear. But at the end of the day, if I think rationally, DH and I are not that old. We have maybe 20, 20+ more years to be economically active. We may not earn as much as we are used to but with the house paid for and investments, plus savings set aside, we can still survive.

[SAHM Chew]

ngl2010:

Does your husband give money to his parents? If he gives through CPF, it is tax deductible. Since, your husband is in high tax bracket, the savings could be quite a lot. But of course there is maximum limit and whether his siblings are claiming this tax deductible or not.

Also, if your husband put money in SRS for his retirement, it is tax deductible too. It will be taxed at 50% rate when your husband takes it out after 55 years old. Of course, SRS has its annual limit.

My DH does gives his parents allowances, but, Not through CPF. So he can only claim the parent relief.

[SAHM Chew]

TheAnswer:

SAHM Chew,


I am relieved to know that you have reserves for 3 years. You are really a prudent wife, an example I can learn from. By the looks of the savings which I have now, the most it can only last my family 16 months.
At this moment, I think most importantly is to remain clear headed. Support your DH. It's probably mentally stressful being the sole breadwinner. My DH lost his job twice. Went through a spiral of depression and each round took quite some time to recover. His temper got edgy and everything annoys him. I remember it well. My brother also lost his job a few times. It wasn't easy for them. Men do feel lousy as their job is like their pride. Be strong for him, for your sons and for yourself. You will be able to get through it. :snuggles:

Thanks for the encouragement. I am a worrier by natural. So even if I have more savings, I will still be worried. Unless I have passive income which can support us. But we do not have at the moment.

The savings are actually meant to generate more passive income, that's the reason we have been saving aggressively, to get out of the rat's race.

[SAHM Chew]

Thanks ladies for all the encouragement.


It really make me feels better as I have the opportunity to vent out my worries.

[ngl2010]

SAHM Chew:

ngl2010:

Does your husband give money to his parents? If he gives through CPF, it is tax deductible. Since, your husband is in high tax bracket, the savings could be quite a lot. But of course there is maximum limit and whether his siblings are claiming this tax deductible or not.

Also, if your husband put money in SRS for his retirement, it is tax deductible too. It will be taxed at 50% rate when your husband takes it out after 55 years old. Of course, SRS has its annual limit.

My DH does gives his parents allowances, but, Not through CPF. So he can only claim the parent relief.

Topping up parent's CPF is tax deductible for up to $7,000 per year. Depending on your DH's tax bracket, this could translate to savings of about $1,000 per year. Your parents-in-law will get $297 per month credited by CPF directly to their bank account (POSB, etc). If you usually give more to your parents-in-law, you can give the rest in cash. I found that this CPF scheme is useful. It is a win-win with our parents-in-law.