don't really know how to talk to wife

[janet88]

just now, hubby told daughter he will bring her to take sbs 174 double-decker to orchard road 2moro morning. i got pissed and asked him if he is aware that school teacher has gone like bullet train for math before school term ended. on one hand, he is paranoid with her studies, but wanted to bring her out b4 asking me whether she has work to be done.


though it is the start of holiday, she has 4 subjects this year…with him free at home only on weekends, i would expect work to be done BEFORE going anywhere.

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

Joule:

[quote=\"Jennifer\"]Joule, after all the pages of OT topics, did you manage to understand your wife better?


Has the situation improved?

we did try to have a talk shortly after but wife started OT-ing about what she thinks I should be thinking and I was getting annoyed and it was getting late and we were tired after work so I just changed topic and talk about other stuff instead

Sorry to hear the above.

Recently I asked hubby a question, something very trivial (I cant remember what it is anymore either). His reply: I dunno, I only know I do not want to be scolded by you.

I must clarify I had no intention to scold him. I was under some stress with my younger boy's studies and my tone used when speaking to hubby must be really bad for him to say that.

So I backed off from speaking to him whenever not necessary.

2 days ago, my order of the dryer came. He came back from work, saw the dryer and asked \"so, how is the dryer?\" to which I replied \"I have not used it yet.\" Then he gave a 周星驰 type of snigger. Maybe I was being too sensitive.

Anyway, things at home are improving with my younger boy. As for hubby, I am clueless. So I am lying low to wait for the storm to blow over.

All the best to you at home.[/quote]Jennifer, you reminded me of a time when I was also sick of getting scolded by DH. I literally said the exact same words as your DH.
He kinda created some terror and spoiled my mood during that low period. There is probably too much tension. It will be over soon. Be patient.

I remember one incident. I suggested going to a new jap place. DH took a look at the menu and didn't like it. But he turned around and said this to me, \"I think if I were to say no, I think you will be unhappy with my choice. So, let's go in. He went in with a black face. I went in feeling annoyed because I didn't even force him in. He thought I would be angry if he decided not to eat there. That day, he found fault with even the seats which we were allocated. Thank goodness. In the end he found the food nice and satisfying. If not, go home sure :nunchuk: :spank: :torchme:

Perhaps you can suggest joining DH to do something he enjoys? Lessen the tension? Kids can feel the tension.

[TheAnswer]

Joule:

Jennifer:

[quote=\"Joule\"]buds can you change your avatar or not


its very distracting

kumsiah

Joule, after all the pages of OT topics, did you manage to understand your wife better?

Has the situation improved?

yes. no. well, sort of.

we haven't had any disagreements and I really couldn't put in the effort to stay angry. its been relatively harmonious for the time being

so it's more or less ok. until the next argument that is. I really can't tell.

but having said that, it's more of a matter of self-management so if I really cannot take it I'll just go take a walk or something and leave the phone at home.

we did try to have a talk shortly after but wife started OT-ing about what she thinks I should be thinking and I was getting annoyed and it was getting late and we were tired after work so I just changed topic and talk about other stuff instead[/quote]Joule,
Do you think she also realizes something is wrong but doesn't know how to approach it?

[TheAnswer]

janet_lee88:

just now, hubby told daughter he will bring her to take sbs 174 double-decker to orchard road 2moro morning. i got pissed and asked him if he is aware that school teacher has gone like bullet train for math before school term ended. on one hand, he is paranoid with her studies, but wanted to bring her out b4 asking me whether she has work to be done.


though it is the start of holiday, she has 4 subjects this year...with him free at home only on weekends, i would expect work to be done BEFORE going anywhere.

Chill. I think your DH thought of that impromptu. Relax. It's the holidays. Have a break. Ok. Do not flame me :siam:

[Jennifer]

TheAnswer:

Jennifer:

Recently I asked hubby a question, something very trivial (I cant remember what it is anymore either). His reply: I dunno, I only know I do not want to be scolded by you.

Jennifer, you reminded me of a time when I was also sick of getting scolded by DH. I literally said the exact same words as your DH.
He kinda created some terror and spoiled my mood during that low period. There is probably too much tension. It will be over soon. Be patient.

I remember one incident. I suggested going to a new jap place. DH took a look at the menu and didn't like it. But he turned around and said this to me, \"I think if I were to say no, I think you will be unhappy with my choice. So, let's go in. He went in with a black face. I went in feeling annoyed because I didn't even force him in. He thought I would be angry if he decided not to eat there. That day, he found fault with even the seats which we were allocated. Thank goodness. In the end he found the food nice and satisfying. If not, go home sure :nunchuk: :spank: :torchme:

Perhaps you can suggest joining DH to do something he enjoys? Lessen the tension? Kids can feel the tension.

Something he enjoys? making money lor - he is a workaholic.

Formula 1 Racing season is here :frustrated:

[sleepy]

Sigh… I also hate to 看脸色. Couple of years ago, we were in KL. As usual, kids squabbled whenever & wherever. Of course dh quite bad mood because brought them all the way to KL and only to hear them argue non-stop.


I talked to him he also ignored me and pulled a long face throughout the day. Alamak, not my fault if kids love to argue with each other. I snapped and told dh off after I failed repeatedly to coax him out of his bad mood. Don’t know why I’m actually more mad at dh for showing black face than kids arguing

Told him black face wouldn’t resolve anything. Kids continued to argue nevertheless, they were to young to read our mood. His black face only made the mood between the two of us worst. Ask him to block out their squabble and raise his voice at them if necessary but I demand him to stop sulking & ruining my holiday mood

[KSmom8]

Imami:

After prolong turbulence, I think things between a couple will get sensitive. Anything and everything also can trigger a fight. For both parties, I think need to back off a little, keep more cool, remind oneself of not being so sensitive and to be more polite.

:celebrate: make more love instead of fuss :love:

Probably correct.

DH just lost temper at me for third time in slightly more than a month. Too drained and tired to even talk about it.... Surprising I was very calm and I don't feel so angry. Just tired. :sad:

[Nebbermind]

KSmom8:

Probably correct.

DH just lost temper at me for third time in slightly more than a month. Too drained and tired to even talk about it.... Surprising I was very calm and I don't feel so angry. Just tired. :sad:

Go one step further....stop counting the no. Of times!

[Jennifer]

Nebbermind:

Go one step further....stop counting the no. Of times!

:spank:

[Jennifer]

sleepy:

Sigh... I also hate to 看脸色.

I am guilty of this showing black face.

Now on the way to behaviour corrective camp. Hope to be discharged soon :xedfingers: