don't really know how to talk to wife

[TheAnswer]

Joule:

[quote]

Joule,
Do you think she also realizes something is wrong but doesn't know how to approach it?

I would suspect so. might be.

for all you know she is writing on mummy.sg on how come her husband doesn't 'get it' .

from the posts here, I found out that I am not alone

misunderstandings happen

but I guess, the correct answer is just give the benefit of the doubt

maybe wife doesn't mean it

if she knew, she would not purposely be out to irritate

and also another point I learn from ppl here

self emotional awareness and management- very impt

ownself not emotionally healthy, not good

cannot control other people reaction

only can control own reaction[/quote]My DH sometimes also mention that certain things I do irritate him. So sometimes he will say that I'm out to annoy him. Actually it's not, I just really forget that he dislikes such behavior.

Giving the benefit of doubt is probably better until you can figure things out.

[sharonkhoo]

Jennifer:

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does


Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

I don't see it as sad, just reality. You don't expect him to like all the things you like, so he has to learn to do the same. You are preparing him well for later life. I don't feel at all guilty when I tell my kids that I will not do certain things with them because I don't enjoy them, and they accept that.

[Jennifer]

slmkhoo:

Jennifer:

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does


Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

I don't see it as sad, just reality. You don't expect him to like all the things you like, so he has to learn to do the same. You are preparing him well for later life. I don't feel at all guilty when I tell my kids that I will not do certain things with them because I don't enjoy them, and they accept that.

I felt sad due to a reason I cant post here.

[Jennifer]

Joule:

only can control own reaction

well said. Jia You

[ammonite]

Jennifer:

TheAnswer:

At least he doesn't nag at you to join him with what he enjoys right? I'm being nagged at to go running n cycling with him. But no interest :rant: :?: DH and I have absolutely different hobbies.

Ya, my hubby does not do the above. My younger boy does

Last week, my younger boy was told: I am not as sporty as you, into so many types of games. I do not feel motivated to play tennis or soccer with you. Badminton and table tennis I can do.

Sad, right?

Ok lah, energy is a limited resource ya? I am the one who taught my kids to cycle and the basics of badminton etc and make them go outdoors every day, but once they get he hang of something, I will back off and let them play with other kids. On tired days, I tell my kids, \"Your dear OLD mother is very tired and out of shape. If I sprain my legs you will have to think of a way to carry me home or roll me all the way home.\" :evil: once when we had to run in the rain, they were surprised that dear old mum can actually run.

[Jennifer]

ammonite:

I am the one who taught my kids to cycle and the basics of badminton etc and make them go outdoors every day, but once they get he hang of something, I will back off and let them play with other kids. On tired days, I tell my kids, \"Your dear OLD mother is very tired and out of shape. If I sprain my legs you will have to think of a way to carry me home or roll me all the way home.\" :evil: once when we had to run in the rain, they were surprised that dear old mum can actually run.

I was very much a stay at home person - everyday at home was a playday when the boys were younger.

Some years back, we participated in the Zoo Safari Run. I could only run the first 1km and walked all the way to the finishing line where my 2 boys were waiting patiently (or impatiently) for me. When they saw me, first remark: why you so slow!

[vinegar]

Jennifer:

ammonite:

I am the one who taught my kids to cycle and the basics of badminton etc and make them go outdoors every day, but once they get he hang of something, I will back off and let them play with other kids. On tired days, I tell my kids, \"Your dear OLD mother is very tired and out of shape. If I sprain my legs you will have to think of a way to carry me home or roll me all the way home.\" :evil: once when we had to run in the rain, they were surprised that dear old mum can actually run.

I was very much a stay at home person - everyday at home was a playday when the boys were younger.

Some years back, we participated in the Zoo Safari Run. I could only run the first 1km and walked all the way to the finishing line where my 2 boys were waiting patiently (or impatiently) for me. When they saw me, first remark: why you so slow!

i was like u....wasn't a runner.Can swim 10laps or more but cannot run more than 1km. It takes time to build ur stamina. I couldn't swim for past few months coz raining season,so i went running.Initially,i could only run 1km,then slowly,now i can run 2km.If i stop running for a week,then i've to start to build up my stamina again.

[Jennifer]

vinegar:

Jennifer:

Some years back, we participated in the Zoo Safari Run. I could only run the first 1km and walked all the way to the finishing line where my 2 boys were waiting patiently (or impatiently) for me. When they saw me, first remark: why you so slow!

i was like u....wasn't a runner.Can swim 10laps or more but cannot run more than 1km. It takes time to build ur stamina. I couldn't swim for past few months coz raining season,so i went running.Initially,i could only run 1km,then slowly,now i can run 2km.If i stop running for a week,then i've to start to build up my stamina again.

:thankyou: for the motivation factor. I will try again :xedfingers:

[sharonkhoo]

vinegar:

i was like u....wasn't a runner.Can swim 10laps or more but cannot run more than 1km. It takes time to build ur stamina. I couldn't swim for past few months coz raining season,so i went running.Initially,i could only run 1km,then slowly,now i can run 2km.If i stop running for a week,then i've to start to build up my stamina again.

I prefer swimming and have given up on running. I was one of those in school who always brought up the rear ... far, far behind. Married a man who ran several times a week so tried to pick it up, but really hated it. So I stuck to swimming. Now my 13yo daughter runs with her daddy (who has slowed down due to age and knee problems!).

[Augmum]

TheAnswer:

Augmum:

[quote=\"TheAnswer\"]To me the best way to punish my DH is to remain silent.

TheAnswer, seems like there are quite a few areas we are alike.....haha
Yes, same for me.....hub cant stand my silence....he will break the ice first....

I'm usually quite a chatterbox. I literally can talk nonstop. He used to wonder why I have so much to talk about Thus when I'm home and I'm silent for a few hours, he knows trouble is brewing. Confirm something wrong. He usually will break the ice within a few hours. Yes, his tolerance is that low. If I am at level 10, he is at level 1. But then again, I do not give him silent treatment regularly. It only happens when he piss me off continuously for few days. My mood usually recovers quickly so it isn't hard to pacify me [/quote]hmm....i am not a chatterbox, but if i choose to remain silent....it means REAL Silence....he knows the difference....

Actually women are rather easy to pacify (most lah...if not all)....
When hub makes me piss off, he juz need to buy me some of my favourite snacks or desserts or whip up my favourite dish.....
plus a sincere \"sorry\" .....kao tim.....