In-law problems?
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sleepy:
Why alone? Your dh didnt defend you?
Those ten draining years...?
Defend?
Never. Cept during the last straw when I chose out. I couldn't... I just couldn't anymore then... I had given everything I could of myself, there was nothing left to give.
That word (defend) not in dictionary. Never was. Don't think ever will.
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TheAnswer:
We all have in law problems of some sort. However, I think we should not be scream at our in laws. It reflects badly of our upbringing and puts our other half in a difficult position. I think it's also important to set an example to our kids. I do not want my kids to scream at me. If DH ever scream at my parents, I would be very upset.
There should be a limit when somebody is hurting another person emotionally. When somebody is hurting us physically, are we supposed to just accept it? Same thing as hurting us emotionally. My relationship with my MIL is actually very good now because she changed her behaviour and hence our relationship is better
I accompanied her to see doctors, urged my DH to visit her more often, brought her out to restaurants, etc. I never regretted that one scream because it changed the course of our relationship. I am not somebody that she can bully. If she treats me well, I treat her even better. However, each person's situation and view is different. Please don't :torchme: me. We don't have to agree. Peace.
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buds:
Buds, I just clicked on the link and I feel sad reading your experiences with your in laws. Wanted to comfort you but no words come to meThis thread holds many memories for me...
Both good and bad.
Bad; because this was where I store all the hurt.. the emotional roller coaster.. the pain.. the aches of having lived and beared every single wasted second of my life X ten long :censored: years.
Which was why I try not to come in here after I was determined to start anew.
Good; because here was where I found strength to carry on with the hurtful and hateful life I had succumbed myself to live in/with because of the many many many cyber friends I had here... to which many of whom I am still friends with in real life (outside forum) till today. Thanks to ALL of you, I went into battle for my \"last fight\" (for my marriage) pretty much prepared be it emotionally or physically, back then.
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=121433#p121433
I will NEVER forget ALL of you, ever. :grphug:
Tonight, I'm just kinda back here to ease the hurt I'm feeling in my heart because somehow I know it is here where my friends know me best. The friendships I forged began here...
You know who you are. All of u...
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ngl2010:
I didn't know buds' story until I clicked on the link just now. Shocked me when I was looking at the content. I'm glad that your relationship with your mil improved but sadly it doesn't work in all situations. We can agree to disagree :snuggles:TheAnswer:
We all have in law problems of some sort. However, I think we should not be scream at our in laws. It reflects badly of our upbringing and puts our other half in a difficult position. I think it's also important to set an example to our kids. I do not want my kids to scream at me. If DH ever scream at my parents, I would be very upset.
There should be a limit when somebody is hurting another person emotionally. When somebody is hurting us physically, are we supposed to just accept it? Same thing as hurting us emotionally. My relationship with my MIL is actually very good now because she changed her behaviour and hence our relationship is better I accompanied her to see doctors, urged my DH to visit her more often, brought her out to restaurants, etc. I never regretted that one scream because it changed the course of our relationship. I am not somebody that she can bully. If she treats me well, I even treat her better. However, each person's situation and view is different. Please don't :torchme: me. We don't have to agree. Peace. -
Yes, TheAnswer.. there are indeed no words.
That was only the last straw portion you read..
The beginning is far far away... tucked within this thread and I'm sure in a few others. For only two things can get to me. Hubs or MIL. When 'things' get to me, I come online to distract me from unhappiness. Anyway, as per to your earlier suggestion to talk it out...
....am afraid when it comes to these things, it ain't up for post-mortem what more discussion. Just civil service way. The usual sweep under carpet method. I'm supposed to take it in stride yes. -
buds:
Some day I will hide myself somewhere and read this thread. Tissue box ready. Still feel sad now even though I only read a few pages of this thread.Yes, TheAnswer.. there are indeed no words.
That was only the last straw portion you read..
The beginning is far far away... tucked within this thread and I'm sure in a few others. For only two things can get to me. Hubs or MIL. When 'things' get to me, I come online to distract me from unhappiness. Anyway, as per to your earlier suggestion to talk it out...
....am afraid when it comes to these things, it ain't up for post-mortem what more discussion. Just civil service way. The usual sweep under carpet method. I'm supposed to take it in stride yes. -
My grandmother is in hospital…her case is terminal. She disagrees with maid…but the maid is also one of a kind, rude, dishonest…my kids named her ‘yaya papaya’.
Anyway the bottom line is, if hubby’s parents are sick…at the rate they smoke and drink and also malnutrition, I dread to think of consequences. -
TheAnswer:
We all have in law problems of some sort. However, I think we should not be scream at our in laws. It reflects badly of our upbringing and puts our other half in a difficult position. I think it's also important to set an example to our kids. I do not want my kids to scream at me. If DH ever scream at my parents, I would be very upset.
agree.no matter how my MIL agitated n criticized me in the past,i nvr scream at her. I endure endure(for 10yrs) until tak boleh tahan,so now ignore her totally.
she can criticize me alone,but i couldn't stand her criticize me when my kiddo,my mother n sis in law ard.
Few times,she made fun of my bloated figure when her relatives came over to see the baby,during my confinement.
her fav past time is making phone calls, stir up prob n see doctor/specialist. Being rich n kiasi,i think she had visited most specialists in sg.
at times,i don't understand why she cannot speak probably,muz always make sarcastic remarks.....don't bother liao...she oredi a history....
like what buds said,DIL forever don't hv place in IL's family.for past 10yrs,i've done my part as DIL,brought her see doc,encouraged my dh to spend more time wf her...until we neglected ourselves n my kiddo.I realise i am not married to solve IL n SIL probs.I've my own family to focus on.So we shifted to further pl fr. IL home,i do all cooking(i don't know how to cook initially)....It wasn't smooth process....I rushed the renovation like mad.picked up cooking. -
once my dh kept bothering me wf my MIL issue.Then i told him,if u wanna me to entertain her like what i did in the past,then u go n hire someone to do hsework,cooking,ferrying n coaching the kiddo.
man…forever blur sotong…They don’t know how much we nid to do until we knock them hard n wake them up. -
sorry…i will not entertain her ever again.
donkey years ago, i called to ask how she was…not long after that phone call, my SIL called me…guess what…the old one apparently told my SIL i called her…and the old one said since i called her, she just 应酬 me…that’s it !!! never again.
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