In-law problems?
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My grandmother is in hospital…her case is terminal. She disagrees with maid…but the maid is also one of a kind, rude, dishonest…my kids named her ‘yaya papaya’.
Anyway the bottom line is, if hubby’s parents are sick…at the rate they smoke and drink and also malnutrition, I dread to think of consequences. -
TheAnswer:
We all have in law problems of some sort. However, I think we should not be scream at our in laws. It reflects badly of our upbringing and puts our other half in a difficult position. I think it's also important to set an example to our kids. I do not want my kids to scream at me. If DH ever scream at my parents, I would be very upset.
agree.no matter how my MIL agitated n criticized me in the past,i nvr scream at her. I endure endure(for 10yrs) until tak boleh tahan,so now ignore her totally.
she can criticize me alone,but i couldn't stand her criticize me when my kiddo,my mother n sis in law ard.
Few times,she made fun of my bloated figure when her relatives came over to see the baby,during my confinement.
her fav past time is making phone calls, stir up prob n see doctor/specialist. Being rich n kiasi,i think she had visited most specialists in sg.
at times,i don't understand why she cannot speak probably,muz always make sarcastic remarks.....don't bother liao...she oredi a history....
like what buds said,DIL forever don't hv place in IL's family.for past 10yrs,i've done my part as DIL,brought her see doc,encouraged my dh to spend more time wf her...until we neglected ourselves n my kiddo.I realise i am not married to solve IL n SIL probs.I've my own family to focus on.So we shifted to further pl fr. IL home,i do all cooking(i don't know how to cook initially)....It wasn't smooth process....I rushed the renovation like mad.picked up cooking. -
once my dh kept bothering me wf my MIL issue.Then i told him,if u wanna me to entertain her like what i did in the past,then u go n hire someone to do hsework,cooking,ferrying n coaching the kiddo.
man…forever blur sotong…They don’t know how much we nid to do until we knock them hard n wake them up. -
sorry…i will not entertain her ever again.
donkey years ago, i called to ask how she was…not long after that phone call, my SIL called me…guess what…the old one apparently told my SIL i called her…and the old one said since i called her, she just 应酬 me…that’s it !!! never again. -
janet_lee88:
Its terrible that she did not even respond positively to your nice gestures. I guess my heart would have been dead if I were to hear that :siam:sorry...i will not entertain her ever again.
donkey years ago, i called to ask how she was...not long after that phone call, my SIL called me...guess what...the old one apparently told my SIL i called her...and the old one said since i called her, she just 应酬 me...that's it !!! never again.
My mil calls DH daily to ask him if he has eaten. What does this suppose to mean? I'm starving him :frustrated: Luckily she only calls him on his Hp not the house phone. DH also ends the call rather quickly (within seconds). Apparently he also can't stand her treating him like a kid. -
After we changed home number bcos of singtel MIO, if his family wants to talk to hubby, call his mobile.
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buds:
Buds :snuggles:Yes, TheAnswer.. there are indeed no words.
That was only the last straw portion you read..
The beginning is far far away... tucked within this thread and I'm sure in a few others. For only two things can get to me. Hubs or MIL. When 'things' get to me, I come online to distract me from unhappiness. Anyway, as per to your earlier suggestion to talk it out...
....am afraid when it comes to these things, it ain't up for post-mortem what more discussion. Just civil service way. The usual sweep under carpet method. I'm supposed to take it in stride yes.
Same here. I can't discuss my issues with ILs with DH.... He might say he agrees with me but he won't be on my side. Then can boomerang back to ILs and make matters worse.
Never underestimate the influence a mother has on her son, especially only sons. I suspect my recent issues with DH... He's been losing his temper lately on me... is connected to MIL. I thought they had to do with work stress, but the main problem for the stress started last year. The temper tantrums started this year. He's been meeting her for lunch occasionally this year. DH has soft ears. Issues on expenditure ( MIL thinks I'm a spendthrift and lazy DIL who should be working ) and certain habits from ILs' ( which DH had stopped ) have resurfaced. Actually, don't know what she has to gain by interfering so much, does she want her son to have an unhappy marriage and a broken family? Maybe ... she wants her son back???
My mum was lucky. She had an understanding and obliging MIL. As a result, I had a close relationship with both my maternal and paternal grandparents. My kids only have a closeness with my parents. I suppose they can feel where the love is. My ILs don't seem particularly interested in their only grandchildren, except for bragging rights to relatives and friends. -
TheAnswer:
Due to a family situation, I offered to have MIL over at my place in the day. It was a temporary arrangement for x months but my exmaid got impatient and told lies that I didn't welcome her etc. MIL believed the maid she hardly knew instead of her DIL of over 12 years. Disappointing and sad. I'm still trying to understand and forgive MIL.
Its terrible that she did not even respond positively to your nice gestures. I guess my heart would have been dead if I were to hear that :siam:janet_lee88:
sorry...i will not entertain her ever again.
donkey years ago, i called to ask how she was...not long after that phone call, my SIL called me...guess what...the old one apparently told my SIL i called her...and the old one said since i called her, she just 应酬 me...that's it !!! never again.
My mil calls DH daily to ask him if he has eaten. What does this suppose to mean? I'm starving him :frustrated: Luckily she only calls him on his Hp not the house phone. DH also ends the call rather quickly (within seconds). Apparently he also can't stand her treating him like a kid.
MIL also checks my fridge on the rare occasion she comes. Yup, afraid I'd starve DH. Also, loves to give me RAW food. Hint hint, get the \"cook more frequently\" command. -
KSmom8:
Buds :snuggles:
Same here. I can't discuss my issues with ILs with DH.... He might say he agrees with me but he won't be on my side. Then can boomerang back to ILs and make matters worse.
same here.i can't even mention \"ur mother\".Worst of all,he forever won't agree wf me
Never underestimate the influence a mother has on her son, especially only sons. I suspect my recent issues with DH... He's been losing his temper lately on me... is connected to MIL. I thought they had to do with work stress, but the main problem for the stress started last year. The temper tantrums started this year. He's been meeting her for lunch occasionally this year. DH has soft ears. Issues on expenditure ( MIL thinks I'm a spendthrift and lazy DIL who should be working ) and certain habits from ILs' ( which DH had stopped ) have resurfaced. Actually, don't know what she has to gain by interfering so much, does she want her son to have an unhappy marriage and a broken family? Maybe ... she wants her son back???
i constantly think of this too,what does she gain by stirring up issues?Few times when i was very angry,i felt like calling n asking her,\"what do u wanna?if u wanna ur son back,take him back n take good care of her,\"
I could also sense if my dh unhappiness due to her.I wish MIL knows Insider,remember once she mentioned the mother shld let go for happiness of their children? -
My MIL has mental problem.
If i ask her how do cook certain dishes or cooking tactics,she always says she forgot,ask me to chk wf my mum. OK,so I don’t bother to ask her.Few times,I picked up the calls for my dh,instead of telling me directly how to cook,etc,she asked my dh to talk to her.Even if she wanna tell me,she’ll say,"err…ok…i think make no difference of telling u also."
few times,i also kena the same experience as Janet. Called n asked her how she is,wow…cannot stand her sarcastic remarks…she said,"why call me?nid my help ah?"
"why buy this for me? nid my help ah?" that’s it…never again also…sayonara to her.
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