2013 Sec 1 Discussions

[fifiyeo]

Yes Janet, another 2 more days and it’s a long weekend!

[fifiyeo]

Got a friend her sec 1 son got girlfriend now. How?


I told her to send him to school and pick him up whenever possible so it will cut down the out of school interaction time with the girl and maybe that will make the relationship die a natural death. Upfront confrontation I think is not a good idea.

[kwcllf]

fifiyeo:

Got a friend her sec 1 son got girlfriend now. How?


I told her to send him to school and pick him up whenever possible so it will cut down the out of school interaction time with the girl and maybe that will make the relationship die a natural death. Upfront confrontation I think is not a good idea.

At beginning of the year, we attended DS' school talk. There was a briefing from the school's councillor and were told that BGR is a big No No.

Perhaps, your friend may want to get some advice from the school's councillor?


By the way, my DS has Home Econ test today. Hopes everything goes well. But I was very put off by his teacher's attitude. Before the school holiday, they were told to submit what they want to cook (main dish + drink or dessert). They were also subsequently told to list down the ingrdients required for the test.

When this was duly submitted to the teacher, she said my DS' chicken stew was \"too easy\". So must change the drink that he wanted to make to something else. He and his friend (as they must work in pairs), then went through a cookbook given and they selected Fruit Jelly.

Can't believe the teacher said chicken stew is \"too easy\". This is not all. Yesterday, my DS was told that he would be given chicken drumsticks when his recipe asked for boneless chicken meat like chicken fillet or chicken breast. These could easily be bought from the supermarket. The teacher told him chicken stew MUST USE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK.

What a load of rubbish! Does she expect children who only learnt to cook for 1 term to debone the chicken drumstick for the chicken stew.

I told my DS that his teacher is trying to make things easy for herself as she just needed to buy one type of meat for everyone. My DS then told me that one of his seniors once asked who his Home Econ teacher was. When he told this senior, he said teacher was \"no good\".

[fifiyeo]

kwcllf:

fifiyeo:

Got a friend her sec 1 son got girlfriend now. How?


I told her to send him to school and pick him up whenever possible so it will cut down the out of school interaction time with the girl and maybe that will make the relationship die a natural death. Upfront confrontation I think is not a good idea.

At beginning of the year, we attended DS' school talk. There was a briefing from the school's councillor and were told that BGR is a big No No.

Perhaps, your friend may want to get some advice from the school's councillor?

I also told her that BGR is not good at this age and my friend knows that too. But she feels that by imposing that rule, she is not being fair to her boy. I don't think she will want to talk to the school about this. Anyway, I told her that teens need to feel very loved at home or they will need to find 'love' elsewhere.They don't make good decisions at this age, often full of attitude but we as parents just have to still show a lot of love instead of quarrelling with them.

[kwcllf]

fifiyeo:

kwcllf:

[quote=\"fifiyeo\"]Got a friend her sec 1 son got girlfriend now. How?


I told her to send him to school and pick him up whenever possible so it will cut down the out of school interaction time with the girl and maybe that will make the relationship die a natural death. Upfront confrontation I think is not a good idea.

At beginning of the year, we attended DS' school talk. There was a briefing from the school's councillor and were told that BGR is a big No No.

Perhaps, your friend may want to get some advice from the school's councillor?

I also told her that BGR is not good at this age and my friend knows that too. But she feels that by imposing that rule, she is not being fair to her boy. I don't think she will want to talk to the school about this. Anyway, I told her that teens need to feel very loved at home or they will need to find 'love' elsewhere.They don't make good decisions at this age, often full of attitude but we as parents just have to still show a lot of love instead of quarrelling with them.[/quote]This can be a difficult stage and it is not easy to deal with such problems.

Regarding the school's councillor, I am not saying that your friend should approach him to help solve the \"problem\". What I am suggesting is that maybe, she can have an informal talk (not disclosing too much info about her boy or his girl friend) and get some advice how to go about handling such issues.

Yes, I agree with you that we need to show lots of love and understanding, and try to tackle any problems, if any, amicably. It is a very sensitive stage and teenagers can be full of angst.

[sharonkhoo]

fifiyeo:

I also told her that BGR is not good at this age and my friend knows that too. But she feels that by imposing that rule, she is not being fair to her boy. I don't think she will want to talk to the school about this. Anyway, I told her that teens need to feel very loved at home or they will need to find 'love' elsewhere.They don't make good decisions at this age, often full of attitude but we as parents just have to still show a lot of love instead of quarrelling with them.

What is involved when you say \"BGR\" for this age? Perhaps your friend can set some objective rules based on time - how much time outside school hours spent together, on the phone, online etc. Priority should be on completing homework, family activities etc. Also, maybe she can forbid one-on-one dates and only allow going out in groups. Another way which can quite effectively \"kill\" BGR at this stage, I think, is to invite the girl to visit so that the parents can get to know her. I have 2 girls aged 13 and 16yo, and we have already told them that we don't allow single dates for now (anyway, they haven't shown that kind of interest in boys yet, thankfully!). We also encourage them to invite friends of both sexes over to our home for board games, watching a video etc when we are at home, and I think by seeing their friends interact with us a bit, it becomes less of a forbidden fruit.

[janet88]

My son is just average...but he has female classmates who offer to do stuff for him since P5. When he is punished like no recess (ridiculous teacher), this girl will buy hotdog bread or bun and quietly pass to him. When he is on MC, she will SMS him the homework for the day. Amazing is the word.


This year Sec 1, another girl stuck to him. I am not bothered with this...bcos he has been studying in co-Ed school all these years. But he is not into girls, YET. I did advise him to treat girls as friends. Girlfriends come later...it is not the time for him to have any girlfriend at secondary school.
Hubby told him this, 'you are not working...no money to go out to watch movie. Any girl you date is dating ME indirectly'. :rotflmao:

[TheAnswer]

janet_lee88:

My son is just average...but he has female classmates who offer to do stuff for him since P5. When he is punished like no recess (ridiculous teacher), this girl will buy hotdog bread or bun and quietly pass to him. When he is on MC, she will SMS him the homework for the day. Amazing is the word.


This year Sec 1, another girl stuck to him. I am not bothered with this...bcos he has been studying in co-Ed school all these years. But he is not into girls, YET. I did advise him to treat girls as friends. Girlfriends come later...it is not the time for him to have any girlfriend at secondary school.
Hubby told him this, 'you are not working...no money to go out to watch movie. Any girl you date is dating ME indirectly'. :rotflmao:

The girl is so sweet, hotdog bread :love:
Your DH is so funny but I must say that he got a point too.

[fifiyeo]

slmkhoo:

fifiyeo:

I also told her that BGR is not good at this age and my friend knows that too. But she feels that by imposing that rule, she is not being fair to her boy. I don't think she will want to talk to the school about this. Anyway, I told her that teens need to feel very loved at home or they will need to find 'love' elsewhere.They don't make good decisions at this age, often full of attitude but we as parents just have to still show a lot of love instead of quarrelling with them.

What is involved when you say \"BGR\" for this age? Perhaps your friend can set some objective rules based on time - how much time outside school hours spent together, on the phone, online etc. Priority should be on completing homework, family activities etc. Also, maybe she can forbid one-on-one dates and only allow going out in groups. Another way which can quite effectively \"kill\" BGR at this stage, I think, is to invite the girl to visit so that the parents can get to know her. I have 2 girls aged 13 and 16yo, and we have already told them that we don't allow single dates for now (anyway, they haven't shown that kind of interest in boys yet, thankfully!). We also encourage them to invite friends of both sexes over to our home for board games, watching a video etc when we are at home, and I think by seeing their friends interact with us a bit, it becomes less of a forbidden fruit.

Problem is my friend don't want to get to know the girl. She doesn't like him to bring friends home too.

[fifiyeo]

Haha! I also tell DS that he’s not making money yet so anyone he tries to date is our girlfriend.


Friend’s DS spending quite a lot of time on the phone with this girl and grades on the drop.