2013 Sec 1 Discussions

[fifiyeo]

slmkhoo:

fifiyeo:

I also told her that BGR is not good at this age and my friend knows that too. But she feels that by imposing that rule, she is not being fair to her boy. I don't think she will want to talk to the school about this. Anyway, I told her that teens need to feel very loved at home or they will need to find 'love' elsewhere.They don't make good decisions at this age, often full of attitude but we as parents just have to still show a lot of love instead of quarrelling with them.

What is involved when you say \"BGR\" for this age? Perhaps your friend can set some objective rules based on time - how much time outside school hours spent together, on the phone, online etc. Priority should be on completing homework, family activities etc. Also, maybe she can forbid one-on-one dates and only allow going out in groups. Another way which can quite effectively \"kill\" BGR at this stage, I think, is to invite the girl to visit so that the parents can get to know her. I have 2 girls aged 13 and 16yo, and we have already told them that we don't allow single dates for now (anyway, they haven't shown that kind of interest in boys yet, thankfully!). We also encourage them to invite friends of both sexes over to our home for board games, watching a video etc when we are at home, and I think by seeing their friends interact with us a bit, it becomes less of a forbidden fruit.

Problem is my friend don't want to get to know the girl. She doesn't like him to bring friends home too.

[fifiyeo]

Haha! I also tell DS that he’s not making money yet so anyone he tries to date is our girlfriend.


Friend’s DS spending quite a lot of time on the phone with this girl and grades on the drop.

[janet88]

fifiyeo:

Haha! I also tell DS that he's not making money yet so anyone he tries to date is our girlfriend.


Friend's DS spending quite a lot of time on the phone with this girl and grades on the drop.

Hubby: do not get serious at young age...or your studies will suffer...your father here is one example.
Son: how old were you?
Hubby: 26. Almost flunked university. Unless you want to fail, do not start any relationship.

[sharonkhoo]

janet_lee88:

fifiyeo:

Haha! I also tell DS that he's not making money yet so anyone he tries to date is our girlfriend.


Friend's DS spending quite a lot of time on the phone with this girl and grades on the drop.

Hubby: do not get serious at young age...or your studies will suffer...your father here is one example.
Son: how old were you?
Hubby: 26. Almost flunked university. Unless you want to fail, do not start any relationship.

Sec school is definitely too young. But we tell our kids that it's OK once they are over 18, as long as they are responsible and can balance their work and play. My husband and I went steady in our first year at university at 20yo, and both of us managed fine, and my husband did extremely well. We have other friends in the same situation who also did well academically. So it's not the age so much as the ability to be self-disciplined.

[sharonkhoo]

fifiyeo:

Problem is my friend don't want to get to know the girl. She doesn't like him to bring friends home too.

With teens, telling them 'no' outright often leads to more problems. Wise parents will find a way where the teen doesn't feel that his opinions and preferences are being ignored.

[janet88]

It’s not possible to tell teenagers NO and…that’s it. Son is not interested in girls yet…but when he is at that stage, it will be hard. So I can only hope it will be delayed as long as possible.


His hospitalization leave ends today…back to school 2moro.
Got him to call his classmate to enquire homework. Read up on history and geography.

[kwcllf]

janet_lee88:

fifiyeo:

Haha! I also tell DS that he's not making money yet so anyone he tries to date is our girlfriend.


Friend's DS spending quite a lot of time on the phone with this girl and grades on the drop.

Hubby: do not get serious at young age...or your studies will suffer...your father here is one example.
Son: how old were you?
Hubby: 26. Almost flunked university. Unless you want to fail, do not start any relationship.

You were the ONE that made him almost flunk university? :spank: :rotflmao:

[janet88]

I didn’t even know him then…how to make him fail? When I knew him, he was repaying study loan. Sorry, off topic.


Back to Sec 1. Study first…don’t tell me about going steady. I told son his wings are still not strong until he finishes O levels and can go out with girls in a group…翅膀还没硬…father still supporting him.

[mummy so kiasu]

janet_lee88:

I didn't even know him then...how to make him fail? When I knew him, he was repaying study loan. Sorry, off topic.


Back to Sec 1. Study first...don't tell me about going steady. I told son his wings are still not strong until he finishes O levels and can go out with girls in a group..翅膀还没硬...father still supporting him.

Dating will lead to spend more money. Money usually come from daddy. Where got so much money to sponsor them? Parents got to save for sons to go dating?

[janet88]

mummy so kiasu:

janet_lee88:

I didn't even know him then...how to make him fail? When I knew him, he was repaying study loan. Sorry, off topic.


Back to Sec 1. Study first...don't tell me about going steady. I told son his wings are still not strong until he finishes O levels and can go out with girls in a group..翅膀还没硬...father still supporting him.

Dating will lead to spending more money. Money usually come from daddy. Where got so much money to sponsor them? Parents got to save for sons to go dating?

Daddy still has to work hard for him to attend tuition. Go for dates? What does he know about earning money? One movie ticket is $8-9. Drinks and popcorn excluded. Told hubby before, even if I provide money for son to learn driving, I am not in favour of him taking car to drive girlfriend around.
Take a bus.