Club FTWM

[sembgal]

TheAnswer:

sembgal:

[quote=\"TheAnswer\"]Sembgal, I spend time with my son daily before I go to work. Try to coach him with his studies and play with him.

Don't you start work in the morning?

I am a full time tutor. The earliest I go to work is 9am and only on Monday, wednesday and Friday. Other lessons are from 3pm onwards.[/quote]Who will take care of your child if you need to teach in the evenings and he need to do his assignments? Have you consider this? If you were now the one to tell him you want a career switch, how will he feel and how will he react if you say you want to take from the savings for pursuing the course and depend on savings for daily expenses. He needs to empathise with you.

[vinegar]

TheAnswer:

sembgal:

Accounting is stressful and if he can't take stress, how is he going to cope during month end closing reports etc?

That's why he never use his brain and think. Listens to his sister more than me. I already reason the things out for him. Honestly, he always makes the wrong decisions.

Men,sometx,they r like small children.My dh also always makes wrong decision.

[TheAnswer]

We stay near my mum. We do not have problems managing arrangements for our kid. I'm more concerned if he will give up half way.

Now I'm teaching afternoons and evenings also. My mum helps me fetch my boy and prepare his dinner. Usually DH will fetch him once he finishes work as he usually finishes work earlier than me.

You have given me a good idea. I should counter suggest to him :evil:

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

TheAnswer:

[quote=\"sembgal\"]Accounting is stressful and if he can't take stress, how is he going to cope during month end closing reports etc?

That's why he never use his brain and think. Listens to his sister more than me. I already reason the things out for him. Honestly, he always makes the wrong decisions.

Men,sometx,they r like small children.My dh also always makes wrong decision.[/quote]Sometimes he has no choice but to admit he screwed up several times. He never said that the best decision he made was to marry me. Maybe if he said that I will be less angry

[vinegar]

when u talk to him,don’t mention abt giving up half way,Later he is not happy coz doesn’t show confidence in him.


However,sometx,i can’t help it not to say also.I always tell my dh to focus n prioritize.I remind him that he is a family man,whatever decision he makes,he has to take the family as consideration.But at the same time,he has to consider "himself" too.While we make sacrifices for family,we also muz make sure we do not forget abt our own happiness.

[TheAnswer]

vinegar:

when u talk to him,don't mention abt giving up half way,Later he is not happy coz doesn't show confidence in him.


However,sometx,i can't help it not to say also.I always tell my dh to focus n prioritize.I remind him that he is a family man,whatever decision he makes,he has to take the family as consideration.But at the same time,he has to consider \"himself\" too.While we make sacrifices for family,we also muz make sure we do not forget abt our own happiness.

Well said. Wise words. I was so blinded by anger that I could not think straight.

[ammonite]

I think accounting is far out for a creative director. Seriously no go. I have only heard of accountants who decided their true passions are in creative fields and made a successful switch, never heard of creative directors who decide higher calling is in crunching through the numbers and piles of thick files.


He needs to determine what he is hoping for in accounting job - stability and certainty? One can’t argue with numbers. Maybe he is fed up with clients? Maybe he just feel burned out? Perhaps he is not good at pacing himself? Need new inspiration?

[vinegar]

he muz also consider the employment opportunities for ACCA fresh grad. I doubt they’ll consider his previous experience as creative director.


I mean we know how HR screen thru the candidate b4 submitting to the respective dept,right?

Instead of getting higher salary,they could be paying him based on fresh grad level.

[vinegar]

Voice out ur opinion,give him some time to digest. He might not agree at the first place, but it’s ok, like what Insider said, we nid to agree to disagree.


When we voice out our opinion, we muz also make it that he owns the decision.

Normally,when i raise up my opinion to dh, i’ll let him know it is fine he goes ahead to make his own decision.But i’ll keep highlight to him the pros n cons,the impacts,consequences that he nid to responsible.

[Imami]

The answer,


Let me share my experience with you. When my husband first told me he wanted a career change, it was two months before our wedding. He told me he was tired of his job and thought of switching to a totally different field. I listened to him and when he was done, I told him go ahead and tender his resignation on Monday (that was a weekend when he told me). And he really tendered on Monday.

My husband is a quiet man. For him to voice out his grievances like that, was a big thing for me. Actually I was not entirely listening when he talked, I was more determining my next move. We were getting married soon. The wedding dinner would cost. The new home would need new furniture and that would cost. The honeymoon would cost. We bought our first flat years ago before the wedding plans so much of our savings were poured into the flat. The honeymoon would cost too. I reckoned I didn’t have much bandwidth to pay for everything (I was earning more than him back then) but I still tell him to tender. For this quiet man, it speaks volume when he says he is unhappy.

I don’t have much confidence in paying for everything, my honeymoon alone would cost $12k. Did some quick calculation and reckon I need some form of financial aid. I applied for about 6 credit cards and put many big ticket items on Installments. Liquidated some of my investments and requested for cash wedding gifts. My (bro’s wife) was concerned about us and told me to go to her shd I need money. Hubby’s sis and bil were shocked by his move but said nothing.

It was a bold move but I didn’t regret it. He got a job (in the field he wanted) three days before our wedding day and would start work 1 week after our honeymoon. But We took close to a year to pay off everything.

He was in this new job for close to 14months. The pay was low and the boss sucks but he said he was learning a lot. Ok fine, he happy I happy. The turning point came when I was pregnant. The morning peak hour train ride was horrible so he bought a car for us (baby and me). I was just almost finishing the honeymoon installment and then came this downpayment for the car.

While I was doing very well in my job, I was still worried becos the global economy was not doing well. He said we should get a car. Fine, I went cracking my head over the downpayment of $30k. We pulled thru the car downpayment.

Just when I was into the last term of my pregnancy, he said he wanted to resign again. This time he cited pay was the issue - he couldn’t afford to support me and baby with his current pay. He said he was going back to his old field but with a twist. He used to be a IT project manager before the career switch. During his short stint in the new career field, he learnt much and was able to think about his next move. Again, he tendered with my blessing and went without a job for a while. He found a new job when my baby was born and there was no turning back. Fast forward To this day, he was earning multiples of what he used to draw (both in his old field and after career switch) and was highly established in the industry.

Looking back, I wonder if I was truly wise and brave for letting him do what he wanted. But it certainly paid off. I am not asking u to follow my footsteps though. Based on what you hv shared, I would not agree if I were u.