In-law problems?
-
i always tink of that. Both my SILs fr. dh side n my side r super lazy type(they themselves n their children were taken care by maids,MIL n my mum).They surely won’t be the one who take care of them.
Once i told myself i’ve to take care of my mum,but she chose to stay wf my brother.She always tells me that she could depend on my brother while can forget abt me.She said she had given all her money to my brother coz he takes care of her.Inside my heart,i am thinking,it is my mum who takes care of my brother n his children le…I am the one who sends her to see doctor when she sick…She forgotten abt it…doesn’t matter… -
vinegar:
Is that why you're migrating :evil: move super far awayshe can criticize me alone,but i couldn't stand her criticize me when my kiddo,my mother n sis in law ard.
Few times,she made fun of my bloated figure when her relatives came over to see the baby,during my confinement.
her fav past time is making phone calls, stir up prob n see doctor/specialist. Being rich n kiasi,i think she had visited most specialists in sg.
at times,i don't understand why she cannot speak probably,muz always make sarcastic remarks.....don't bother liao...she oredi a history....
I don't suppose your dh bring his parents along?
Then who will be taking care of them? Your dh got other siblings? -
vinegar:
don't think too much....is ur dh the one who running errands for ur PIL?I mean send them to see doctor,etc??[/quote]Yes. He takes both my parents and his parents to the doctor. My DH also buys tonic for them. I try to go when I can. DH insist I exercise partly because he also scared we not fit enough to take care of so many ppl.
My DH is the only son in his family. He has a married sister, with medical condition. My mil has cancer twice, now in remission. My fil has high blood pressue and also other conditions.TheAnswer:
[quote=\"sleepy\"]Have you gals thought of the scenario when your .MIL become weak and need to be taken care of intensively? Can't just leave to maid without supervision at all. So what are you gonna do if such a situation arise?
Assuming you are not living together.
My dad has heart problems. Mum just had an operation last year due to medical condition. Brother still has slight depression.
Honestly if anything happen to anyone of them, seriously I will be the next one having depression. What do u suggest I do if things become worse? -
buds:
sleepy:
Why alone? Your dh didnt defend you?
Those ten draining years...?
Defend?
Never. Cept during the last straw when I chose out. I couldn't... I just couldn't anymore then... I had given everything I could of myself, there was nothing left to give.
That word (defend) not in dictionary. Never was. Don't think ever will.
Read your link :yikes:
I had the impression you & your dh are super lovey dovey so I assume he will cushion the impact on your behalf. Really :salute: for your patience & tolerance. You really love your dh very much to 爱屋及乌
Not instigating you or anything hor. I just imagine myself in your shoes, I think I would have definitely escape from that unconducive environment long long ago :nailbite:
I think I mentioned somewhere in the thread before that dh & I quarrelled because of MIL during the initial year of our marriage. Not that she purposely pit us against each other but she was the trigger of ALL our quarrels.
During those period, I indeed harbour thoughts of divorcing dh. This is not the type of marriage I have in mind. He is not meeting my expectation of a lovey dovey marriage by acting short tempered with me everytime I voice my grievances. And I'm reduced to suffering in silence. Obviously cannot talk back to MIL and also no sympathy from dh. During those period, my affection for him diminished a lot.
After MIL moved back to her own house, we are perfectly fine with each other again. Then another bout of unpleasantness after I quit my job to stay home. MIL was super upset that I quit my job & purposely nickpick on me every time I see her. This time round, dh did speak up for me so although she continued nickpicking on me but at least it was more bearable. After a few years, we shifted near my parents so less contact with MIL = more peace. Now our relationship is cordial. Even brought MIL shopping recently.
However, in my heart, I'm still scared of her. Dh always tease me, why am I so fearful of a tiny woman? MIL is small in size. Anyway living together, I don't think so. Visting, still alright.
And if the need to take care of MIL arises in the future, I suggested to dh to move in with his mum rather than she moves in with us. -
Hub’s 2 younger siblings are eyeing parents’ flat. The one married to angmoh staying in US doesn’t contribute regularly. Her husband instigates the naive wife to remind her parents she is still their daughter.
身体健康…how to? Cigarettes and beer/stout more important than meals.
Maid is so ex now…how to maintain one? But if it means staying in their own flat, that is most feasible. Moving in with kids is out of the question. -
sleepy:
no lah...she is not worth for the trouble. we've been thinking of migration long time ago....dh n me share lots of similiarities.We love nature,peace n quiet.We both like to read/watch national geographic.We used to like sg,but that was 10yrs ago.
Is that why you're migrating :evil: move super far away
I don't suppose your dh bring his parents along?
Then who will be taking care of them? Your dh got other siblings?
Both me n dh r youngest in the family.We even thought of that too.But we can't be giving up our dreams too.Aiya,not easy to migrate,see how.Anyway,our parents always put the elders as their priorities.We don't hv the place in their hearts....happened many times liao....but we'll still hv to take care of them. -
sleepy:
exactly describe how i feel. I thought of divorcing him.I couldn't stand his weakness.Or perhaps i don't even hv the place in his heart.I've hv cold war wf him for abt 6 to 7months last yr.I refused to talk to him coz he couldn't see my perspective.
Read your link :yikes:
I had the impression you & your dh are super lovey dovey so I assume he will cushion the impact on your behalf. Really :salute: for your patience & tolerance. You really love your dh very much to 爱屋及乌
Not instigating you or anything hor. I just imagine myself in your shoes, I think I would have definitely escape from that unconducive environment long long ago :nailbite:
I think I mentioned somewhere in the thread before that dh & I quarrelled because of MIL during the initial year of our marriage. Not that she purposely pit us against each other but she was the trigger of ALL our quarrels.
same here.MIL n SIL r trigger all our quarrels.I don't know what my dh thinking,every time ask him,do they worth to quarrel for?
During those period, I indeed harbour thoughts of divorcing dh. This is not the type of marriage I have in mind. He is not meeting my expectation of a lovey dovey marriage by acting short tempered with me everytime I voice my grievances. And I'm reduced to suffering in silence. Obviously cannot talk back to MIL and also no sympathy from dh. During those period, my affection for him diminished a lot.
However, in my heart, I'm still scared of her. Dh always tease me, why am I so fearful of a tiny woman? MIL is small in size. Anyway living together, I don't think so. Visting, still alright.
And if the need to take care of MIL arises in the future, I suggested to dh to move in with his mum rather than she moves in with us.
i swallowed my pride to face my MIL.Or i don't even hv pride.
after 10yrs of suffering in silence,i feel it's enough.I couldn't do it anymore coz it affects my health n my kiddo.Finally,asked dh if it is worth to carry on like this just bcoz of them.
now i chose to close 1 eye.I still disagree the way he handles my MIL,continue to fulfill her endless attn.i told my dh he has created another pampered child.MIL also not understanding,think everyone likes her,\"eat full,nothing to do\".I don't hv maid,do everything myself.She is different,got capable maid,no nid to worry abt money,shake legs everyday.
i thought of that too.If dh nid to take care his mum,i'll ask him to go over.My MIL won't leave her hse either,she nid to safeguard her hse fr. his greedy SIL.Also not possible for my dh to go over,coz he doesn't like to stay wf his bro n SIL. -
DH’s family background and mine are very different. My mum and I are exact opposites to my MIL. Hence I run our household very different from my MIL. I think my MIL thinks that my household is an extension of hers, so can cannot tolerate the differences.
Usually DH is quite hands off when it comes to most things, I make most decisions but will still let him know just in case he has objections, which are very rare. So when DH starts to complain about something which is already done / decided on, I am always certain ( cos I confirmed with him on many occasions ) that MIL has voiced her displeasure through him.
These recent temper outbursts of his were most probably triggered by feedback from MIL from those occasional lunches they have been having this year. Issues on household expenditure and habits - my MIL’s favourite topics. Feeling very tired and worn out. But am trying very hard to pull myself together and make myself communicate with DH. It’s tiring to discuss these issues, especially since I have to go in a roundabout manner on sensitive matters concerning ILs. -
my mil doesn’t know how to pronounce my daughter’s english name. my daughter’s name is Claire yet she kept pronouncing as ‘clear’. Already i corrected her so many times yet she still call my daughter ‘clear’. even my hb niece & nephew also call my daughter ‘clear’. Until i fedup i told mil if u duno how to pronounce, pls call my daughter’s chinese name. she show me black face & even complain to her relatives i was making a big fuss.
Even sometimes at gathering, mil still call my daughter ‘clear’ on purpose. Hb said his mum is very very stubborn. will not admit to her mistake even though he corrected her many times.
So what do i do? each time mil calls my daughter ‘clear’ i still continue to correct her?
or just ignore her? but i feel so uneasy when she calls my daughter wrong name. -
mummyJune:
Haha! Don't get too worked up over a small thing like this. My PILs love my kids to death and they still can't get the names right all the time. We just think of those little mispronunciations as terms of endearment.....my mil doesn't know how to pronounce my daughter's english name. my daughter's name is Claire yet she kept pronouncing as 'clear'. Already i corrected her so many times yet she still call my daughter 'clear'. even my hb niece & nephew also call my daughter 'clear'. Until i fedup i told mil if u duno how to pronounce, pls call my daughter's chinese name. she show me black face & even complain to her relatives i was making a big fuss.
Even sometimes at gathering, mil still call my daughter 'clear' on purpose. Hb said his mum is very very stubborn. will not admit to her mistake even though he corrected her many times.
So what do i do? each time mil calls my daughter 'clear' i still continue to correct her?
or just ignore her? but i feel so uneasy when she calls my daughter wrong name.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login