All About Parenting Teenagers

[channie]

How about those children who are on the verge of puberty/journey to being a teenager?

[concernmother]

i have two teens. One is 15 and the other 13. It is very challenging. I have problems coping with my first kid when she hits 13. She has mood swing, withdraw from family and likes to lock herself in the room. She said she likes to be on her own. It was difficult in the beginning. But gradually, I come to accept that. Most important, you have to know her friends and what she is doing outside. I guess we cannot control them at this age but we can give them guidance and advice. If she does not listen, she will have to bear the consequences. My girl is stubborn and likes to do things her own way. She is impatient when i talk to her. So i am very careful when it comes to talking to her. I try to pick the right time…I will not talk sense to her at home…but will do that when we are outside shopping or having a meal. If i talk to her at home, she will have the chance to escape to her room or just "playing" with her phone. Well, she cannot run away when she is outside…hahah…she needs transport home. Good thing is she never talks back at me. Not at this moment. I accept this now because I "xiang kai le". I was young before so i understand her level of behaviour. She is the rebellious type if I force her to do things. So i have to be careful.

I guess it all depends on individual. I have friends whose kids are very "well-behaved". No such nonsense. Really envy them. They are also very self-motivated. Sometimes, I wish they are my kids!
Well, whether my kid does well in her exam or not, she is still my kid. I cannot leave her and ignore her. I cannot force her to study this and that, do well in this and that or threaten her that she will not have tv program if she does badly in so and so exam. We can do that when they are in primary school but not in sec. All i can do now is give her encouragement and lots of love. I cannot force her or else I will press the bomb button.
Sigh, not easy being a parent. The more the kids ignore you, the more you have to "bow down" to them and talk to them. Not preach. But talk casual things to add them in as a family. I think it is better to have one-way traffic than to have no traffic at all. If there is no traffic for a long time, your relationship with her will be gone.
I always remind myself this.
I am not a perfect mum. My kid is not a perfect kid. She does not belong to the top Sec school. But i believe that relationship and bond with the family are the most important.

[Marib]

So helpful.

[Jennifer]

concernmother:

But talk casual things to add them in as a family. I think it is better to have one-way traffic than to have no traffic at all. If there is no traffic for a long time, your relationship with her will be gone.

My elder boy is 16 this year. I find myself talking more about his childhood with him these days. I think he appreciates knowing more his toddler years and it was fun looking at his babyhood photos together. Ytd, he surprised me by saying we hv not played with bubbles for a long time

[JohnYeo]

Jennifer:

concernmother:

But talk casual things to add them in as a family. I think it is better to have one-way traffic than to have no traffic at all. If there is no traffic for a long time, your relationship with her will be gone.

My elder boy is 16 this year. I find myself talking more about his childhood with him these days. I think he appreciates knowing more his toddler years and it was fun looking at his babyhood photos together. Ytd, he surprised me by saying we hv not played with bubbles for a long time

That's so sweet and it also shows you have been doing something right...staying connected with your child...keep it up! stay consistent

John

[dagong99]

concernmother:

i have two teens. One is 15 and the other 13. It is very challenging. I have problems coping with my first kid when she hits 13. She has mood swing, withdraw from family and likes to lock herself in the room. She said she likes to be on her own. It was difficult in the beginning. But gradually, I come to accept that. Most important, you have to know her friends and what she is doing outside. I guess we cannot control them at this age but we can give them guidance and advice. If she does not listen, she will have to bear the consequences. My girl is stubborn and likes to do things her own way. She is impatient when i talk to her. So i am very careful when it comes to talking to her. I try to pick the right time...I will not talk sense to her at home...but will do that when we are outside shopping or having a meal. If i talk to her at home, she will have the chance to escape to her room or just \"playing\" with her phone. Well, she cannot run away when she is outside..hahah...she needs transport home. Good thing is she never talks back at me. Not at this moment. I accept this now because I \"xiang kai le\". I was young before so i understand her level of behaviour. She is the rebellious type if I force her to do things. So i have to be careful.

I guess it all depends on individual. I have friends whose kids are very \"well-behaved\". No such nonsense. Really envy them. They are also very self-motivated. Sometimes, I wish they are my kids!
Well, whether my kid does well in her exam or not, she is still my kid. I cannot leave her and ignore her. I cannot force her to study this and that, do well in this and that or threaten her that she will not have tv program if she does badly in so and so exam. We can do that when they are in primary school but not in sec. All i can do now is give her encouragement and lots of love. I cannot force her or else I will press the bomb button.
Sigh, not easy being a parent. The more the kids ignore you, the more you have to \"bow down\" to them and talk to them. Not preach. But talk casual things to add them in as a family. I think it is better to have one-way traffic than to have no traffic at all. If there is no traffic for a long time, your relationship with her will be gone.
I always remind myself this.
I am not a perfect mum. My kid is not a perfect kid. She does not belong to the top Sec school. But i believe that relationship and bond with the family are the most important.

You definitely deserved a pat on the shoulder ! :snuggles:

[kevkevkaf]

chryl4parents:

Disciplining teenagers sounds like a daunting task but it does not have to be that way. I have 2 boys and I did have challenges in their teen years. As I've conducted parenting talks and have spoken to many parents, I'd like to share a little and hope that it can help you and parents of teenagers.


The magic is to truly 'listen'. Most parents have spent many years of their children's lives telling them what to do... its called \"nagging\" (as children see it) that their children have developed the skill of switching off. Children do not see the fun side of their parents because all they do is grumble, complain, nag and remind them of how much they have spent on them and have done for them.

I liked what you said about not being a perfect parent. We are not perfect because we are all parents in training. I call it \"Amateur Parents\". Which is why we struggle on a daily basis.

I would like to suggest that you reach out to her by asking her opinion or having her come up with suggestions on certain issues, try to draw her into a 2 way, sharing communication.

Always keep positive thoughts of her in your mind during your conversations.

Thanks for the enlightening advice. Will try to establish real 2 way communication with my children!

[Mummybaker]

Yes, its very helpful indeed. thanks!

[kitty2]

Wonder how to control their mood swing? Sometimes a child can be feeling angry for no reasons and they tend to harm themselves my friend's gal cut her wrist and the other one will bite herself or stuffs that she can find.At times they also don't feel like eating! One is under weight now.

[jasmine4]

kitty2:

Wonder how to control their mood swing? Sometimes a child can be feeling angry for no reasons and they tend to harm themselves my friend's gal cut her wrist and the other one will bite herself or stuffs that she can find.At times they also don't feel like eating! One is under weight now.

Very often this kind of behaviour is influenced by peers. They feel that it is the \"in\" thing to do and feel absolutely cool about that.