The use of 'You' in Sentences

[concern2]

Funz:

buds:

...... and I thought I was the oddball. :please: Funz, we use the \"we\" too.

Perhaps... :idea: ... it might be something to do with the line we are in? I realize I use \"we\" a lot to garner the positive energies of the lil' ones to get not just the small things done, but the biggest of tasks. Everything is a \"together\" thing. Regardless even if I was working with only one or two lil cuties at a time... and regardless if I was only singing the song with them instead of walking the talk.

Like, \"What shall we do next?\" or \"What do you think \"we\" can make from this?\"

One of the best ones I can remember will be those that go like this... \"Think we should do something about this room?\" Then, the lil ones automatically sing... \"Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up..\" Even the biggest of rooms get cleaned up. Neatly and very quickly too i must add.

Errrr just to highlight that Sec 2 is too late to implement this, even for the smallest of rooms. If your child falls in this age range, YOU have missed the boat my friend.

:snuggles: Finally! Another oddball like me.



Whatever methods we use, most importantly, the person whom we are trying to get the message to, gets what we are trying to tell them.

Guess the good thing about using 'we' with children is the feeling that they aren't alone, that their mom is with them in whatever they do, and they do things together, feeling inclusive as opposed to the feeling of having to shoulder the growing pains / chores / work alone - even though they are ultimately doing it on their own.

I remember in my schooling years, teachers who used 'We' instead of 'You' or 'You all' were more popular with the students, and students enjoyed their lessons more, and find them more approachable. E.g.

\"So, have we done our homework?\"
\"Can we hand up our work yet?\"
\"Are we ready for our spelling now?\"
\"Are we prepared for our test next week?\"

Initially it sounded weird, but we got used to the teacher and knew exactly what she meant. Somehow, it narrowed the gap between teacher and student, and made schooling more relaxing and enjoyable - despite the stress.

Do we still have such teachers in our schools today?

[TheAnswer]

janet_lee88:

I can't possibly say 'are we expecting the cane?' :rotflmao:

With the kids, there is absolutely no need to be so tactful...if there is a need to use YOU, just use it.

They are the ones who have to sit for exams.
Homework belongs to them.
Caning is for them too.

I agree with you. If their exams belong to me, I will have to take 50-60 exams every few months :yikes:

Number of students x number of subjects :siao: :faint:

[TheAnswer]

Jennifer:

Few days ago I came across this:


A man: You smell good today.

The woman: :rant: I smelled bad all this while? Only today I smelled nice :spank:

:rotflmao:

How should we give a compliment when someone smelled nice???

To me, a sweaty hubby smells nice. But to him, I'm crazy. He always refuse to hug me when he is sweaty.

[buds]

limlim:

buds:

[quote=\"Funz\"]

:rotflmao:

Think I have been speaking like that to kiddos for as long as they can remember they know what I am referring to when I use 'we'.

I must remember to try 'you'. Let me test it out. And see what kind of response I get from them.

...... and I thought I was the oddball. :please: Funz, we use the \"we\" too.

Perhaps... :idea: ... it might be something to do with the line we are in? I realize I use \"we\" a lot to garner the positive energies of the lil' ones to get not just the small things done, but the biggest of tasks. Everything is a \"together\" thing. Regardless even if I was working with only one or two lil cuties at a time... and regardless if I was only singing the song with them instead of walking the talk.

I never use WE when it comes to homework, revision, keeping their desk clean etc..

I make it a point that it is THEIR responsibility.

Their test result, revision, homework, assignments, cleanup after a task etc.. It their own responsibility.

I am always there if they need me, but, as far as ownership is concerned, it is theirs, not mine. :evil:

And they have to answer for their own actions.

I make it very clear to them.

That's my approach. May not work for others, just to share only.[/quote]Never was it ever implied that ownership of the work was anyway ours at all. :evil: *See words in blue..*

Children especially the younger ones work great with simple motivators and we are not talking rewards here. Just a simple show of support as if we are doing things together but in actual fact they are doing it all on their own. This is a skill not everyone can master. :evil:

Like Funz, my kiddies can accomplish a few hrs stretch of quality work as well with quick breaks in between if they need a snack or stretch their legs and of course to look out the window to prevent myopia. On good days especially.

Once again, this may not work with older children.

[janet88]

limlim:

I never use WE when it comes to homework, revision, keeping their desk clean etc..

I make it a point that it is THEIR responsibility.

Their test result, revision, homework, assignments, cleanup after a task etc.. It their own responsibility.

I am always there if they need me, but, as far as ownership is concerned, it is theirs, not mine. :evil:

And they have to answer for their own actions.

I make it very clear to them.

Limlim,
I support you !!! :hi5:

[limlim]

buds:

Never was it ever implied that ownership of the work was anyway ours at all. :evil: *See words in blue..*

Subject to interpretation by the young ones.. :evil:

Using \"We\" does bring pple closer, definitely.. so it depends on one's style on dosage and application.

[insider]

buds:

This is a skill not everyone can master. :evil:

buddy,

we are not being trained for nothing...:evil:

[wonderm]

Whenever possible, using "we" instead of "you" does give people (kids) the feeling "we are in it together".


On the other hand it also depends on context. I don’t think one way is always superior than the other. Kids or even adults of different age all need to be motivated. But they respond to different form of communication/language. A childcare teacher and a Sec school teacher shouldn’t be using the same language when engaging their classes. And I suppose we parents will also use the appropriate language when motivating and engaging our kids of different ages.

[buds]

When it comes to language and the ways of communication, there is never just one sure-fire way... a perfect way... regardless if one speaks to a child or a teen or an adult.


The English Language itself on its own, is a complex language to comprehend. A word can be spelt exactly the same but pronounced differently by two different people. Like you may say toh-mah-toe but i say toh-may-toe. Different right? But both refer to the same thing. Hee.

A word as simple as \"you\" used in whatever context for whichever age can sound both inviting and condescending depending on the body language and the tone of the one who speaks it. Not so much of whether we should or should not use the word at all for people of different age groups.

Like say... if we are using these same words to the three age groups - child / teen / adult. Example oni hor.

Child : You want? :love: - The tone here will sound inviting/welcoming.
Child : You want? :evil: - The usage here can sound evil and leaning towards mean.
Child : You want? :roll: - The tone can sound somewhat sarcastic too.


Teen : You want? :skeptical: - The tone can sound judgmental.
Teen : You want? - This can lean towards mocking.
Teen : You want? :heresmyfish: - Teasing tone.


Adult : You want? - Sharing mood.
Adult : You want?! :yikes: - Think of this tone as when a friend shares abt wanting a 7th child cos she loves children.
Adult : You want...? :evil: - A demure yet sexy invitation. Nuff said.

The manner the words were expressed was the main factor as to the response it will receive.

Using \"we\" in sentences is definitely more inclusive.. more inviting.. more endearing so to speak, regardless of whom we are telling it to. Of course, the \"we\" can still come out strong and sharp if the speaker intended for the word to cut deep as well. I personally do not believe that \"we\" can no longer be appropriate for children of different ages. Perhaps the nature (way) and the environment a child is brought up also plays a part if one may likely find it unsuitable. I have friends and family whom to date, still use the word \"we\" and the telling part of their relationship can only be described as close knit and affectionate. Not to say that they don't use the word \"you\" at all, of course. LOL! Not possible definitely.

Likewise for the usage of \"we\", it can jolly well mean how you want it to be.

A supervisor : You are in big trouble.
Same supervisor : We are in big trouble.

1st one, the chap doing a blame game and the second is an acknowledgment that his subordinate is in big trouble but the assurance shows that he meant to either help to work things out or willing to lend an ear.

A mom telling her child : You are in big trouble.
Same mom telling the same child : We are in big trouble.

1st stance the child is sure to bawl but in the second, the mom knows the kind of trouble but can mean that she understands that the child will need some assistance getting out of it even though if it means that the child will eventually have to get out of that trouble himself.

There will be occasions where you wanna get things done. The usage of \"we\" and \"you\" will yield different responses as well. Just the other day, buds_hubs came home from work and was very sweet to offer his help in getting the boys to have their bath. So... this transpired when he was trying to get buds_chubs to have his shower.

Hubs : You. Shower.
Chubs : Nope. Not yet. (He meant not now.) :rotflmao:

Hubs was :frustrated: because it got chubs and him into a scream fest for awhile. So.....

I said : We shower?
Chubs : Okay mommy. Wets go! (He meant let's go.) :rotflmao:

That made hubs fume for awhile. As usual claiming chubs was becoming quite the brat and that I spoiled him. He :roll: his eyes at chubs teasingly much to the boy's delight. Seeing hubs still lazing around and seemingly like no longer wanting to have his bath after chubs was done, I scolded him.

Pointing to him. I said.

\"YOU!\" :mad:

\"Shower!\" :evil:

He immediately stood up and said, \"Yes ma'am. We shower.\" :rubhands:

We can all work the we's and the you's how we want it to. The skill is in how we do it and make it work. Suffice to say, for those of us who use \"we\" more often than \"you\"... we make things easier on ourselves by not having to stress so much about drawing that line by using the \"you\" to emphasize the reference and the importance that, it is \"your responsibility\"... \"your exam\"... \"your homework\"... \"your room\"... etc.

By alternating to using \"we\" more often, we clearly define that line without having to even draw it. It's the soft touch to getting things done your way without so much as a fuss. But of course, as I have said earlier, it is a skill not just anyone can master. :evil:

However, once you've mastered the art of the soft touch... no matter which word you use... be it \"you\" or \"we\"... no matter what, it will just work, how you want it to be without the :rant:.


All of us converse and communicate in different ways and in the ways we know how and using the words that work for our children and the people in our household as well as around us. So, if yours works, then it works. I ain't judging.

In case \"you\" still don't know buds by now... buds wanna clarify that the post above was meant to be tongue-in-cheek hor. You don't point finger at me, k?


:xedfingers:

Peace out.

[concern2]

buds:

When it comes to language and the ways of communication, there is never just one sure-fire way... a perfect way... regardless if one speaks to a child or a teen or an adult.


The English Language itself on its own, is a complex language to comprehend. A word can be spelt exactly the same but pronounced differently by two different people. Like you may say toh-mah-toe but i say toh-may-toe. Different right? But both refer to the same thing. Hee.

A word as simple as \"you\" used in whatever context for whichever age can sound both inviting and condescending depending on the body language and the tone of the one who speaks it. Not so much of whether we should or should not use the word at all for people of different age groups.

Like say... if we are using these same words to the three age groups - child / teen / adult. Example oni hor.

Child : You want? :love: - The tone here will sound inviting/welcoming.
Child : You want? :evil: - The usage here can sound evil and leaning towards mean.
Child : You want? :roll: - The tone can sound somewhat sarcastic too.


Teen : You want? :skeptical: - The tone can sound judgmental.
Teen : You want? - This can lean towards mocking.
Teen : You want? :heresmyfish: - Teasing tone.


Adult : You want? - Sharing mood.
Adult : You want?! :yikes: - Think of this tone as when a friend shares abt wanting a 7th child cos she loves children.
Adult : You want...? :evil: - A demure yet sexy invitation. Nuff said.

The manner the words were expressed was the main factor as to the response it will receive.

Using \"we\" in sentences is definitely more inclusive.. more inviting.. more endearing so to speak, regardless of whom we are telling it to. Of course, the \"we\" can still come out strong and sharp if the speaker intended for the word to cut deep as well. I personally do not believe that \"we\" can no longer be appropriate for children of different ages. Perhaps the nature (way) and the environment a child is brought up also plays a part if one may likely find it unsuitable. I have friends and family whom to date, still use the word \"we\" and the telling part of their relationship can only be described as close knit and affectionate. Not to say that they don't use the word \"you\" at all, of course. LOL! Not possible definitely.

Likewise for the usage of \"we\", it can jolly well mean how you want it to be.

A supervisor : You are in big trouble.
Same supervisor : We are in big trouble.

1st one, the chap doing a blame game and the second is an acknowledgment that his subordinate is in big trouble but the assurance shows that he meant to either help to work things out or willing to lend an ear.

A mom telling her child : You are in big trouble.
Same mom telling the same child : We are in big trouble.

1st stance the child is sure to bawl but in the second, the mom knows the kind of trouble but can mean that she understands that the child will need some assistance getting out of it even though if it means that the child will eventually have to get out of that trouble himself.

There will be occasions where you wanna get things done. The usage of \"we\" and \"you\" will yield different responses as well. Just the other day, buds_hubs came home from work and was very sweet to offer his help in getting the boys to have their bath. So... this transpired when he was trying to get buds_chubs to have his shower.

Hubs : You. Shower.
Chubs : Nope. Not yet. (He meant not now.) :rotflmao:

Hubs was :frustrated: because it got chubs and him into a scream fest for awhile. So.....

I said : We shower?
Chubs : Okay mommy. Wets go! (He meant let's go.) :rotflmao:

That made hubs fume for awhile. As usual claiming chubs was becoming quite the brat and that I spoiled him. He :roll: his eyes at chubs teasingly much to the boy's delight. Seeing hubs still lazing around and seemingly like no longer wanting to have his bath after chubs was done, I scolded him.

Pointing to him. I said.

\"YOU!\" :mad:

\"Shower!\" :evil:
...

Enjoyed your post!