All About Autism

[ImMeeMee]

Double E:

I just want to share that my son was super cooperative yesterday when I ask him to do his homework. He was able to sit down and work independently and after he was done, he brought the book to me. I tell my husband how I wish he is like that all the time then I wouldn't need to scold or scream at him.


And I realised some changes in his speech. Eg, yesterday he was doing his big biz in the toilet so I helped him to close the door. He then requested me to open the door for him so I said \"OK I will open for you but just half ok? because your poo poo is smelly\". And he replied me with a \"yah!\" Just like how we adults respond sometimes. And today, I flushed the toilet for him after he peed but I didn't flush properly and had to press the button again, then he said to me \"press harder\".

Last night and this morning were good. I hope I have more such good testimonies to share.

And on his social skills, I tried writing down a list of people that he can hug and touch, follow by a list of pple that he can only do hi-five. Basically, he can only hug and touch his family members but to friends, he can only do hi-five. I have this on the white board and will go through this with him every day till it sinks in.
Today he saw the girl and tries to get close to her again, but his time, he tried to get her to do hi-five to him. So he remembered what i told him but he still doesn't understand that it has to come naturally, and not to have to pester someone to give u a hi-five. Sigh!! I think it will really take sometime to teach him.

Good for you Double E.

At times I see quantum leaps in my doter too. Things that she was not able to do yesterday or last week, suddenly she becomes good at it.

Herein lies the trap for me. Once I see that she is good at something, I progress, but sometimes forgetting that she fluctuates. So when she goes into trough, I get frustrated and at times lose my patience.

Have to keep reminding ourselves that our kids fluctuate and we need to learn to keep our cool about our expectations at all times. A great challenge to parenthood at times.

[Double E]

ImMeemee

Yes you are right. Sometimes he performs and behaves so badly that I can’t help but panic and forgot all about his good. That’s when I become a green eyed monster.

[not on facebook]

slmkhoo:

not on facebook:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"]
My older daughter is also Asperger's, and she had the same problem! How we coped was that we told her that she should go to the toilet before classes started, during recess, and after school. That way, she didn't need to ask for permission. As for not asking for help, I don't really know how to advise because my daughter is still that way, and she's 16yo! Some teachers were more watchful and would keep an eye on her and ask her if she needed help. If not, I would check with her when she came home. As she got older, she learned to cope more by herself and may even ask for help sometimes, but it's still mainly in response to my questions.

Thanks slmkhoo! Your daughter goes to mainstream school yes? Did you contact the teachers or AEDs before she started school, to explain her condition and what they should expect?

My daughter has always been in mainstream kindy and school. In fact, we didn't get her diagnosed until she was 14yo although we were reasonably sure she was Asperger's by the time she was about 7yo. We just didn't see the need to do it and we taught and trained her ourselves. So although I did speak to her teachers before each school year (and often in between!), I didn't have a name to put on it. I usually told the teachers that she was introverted, not very socially skilled, had motor difficulties (to get them to go easy on handwriting and PE), poor organisational skills etc. We have lived overseas most of the time so I haven't had much experience with Singapore school. My daughter has been fortunate to mostly have teachers who don't pressure her too much, though there have been one or two I have had to speak to repeatedly. I think Singapore teachers are less accommodating without a formal diagnosis, and the reason we sent her for formal testing at 14yo was that we are returning to Singapore this year, and she will be finishing her education in Singapore. This will be the first time I will be informing a school of a named condition and probably asking for some accommodations.[/quote]Thanks! Will bear this in mind.. in the meantime I still need to get him to go to the loo by himself when we're outside (still in the works), and work with his therapists to get him to ask for help/toilet. I've asked his therapist whether he should proceed to mainstream schools, and she said yes, just that he wont be the sort to initiate conversations, so I can try asking his teachers to pair him up with classmates who are more talkative/friendly. Thanks again.. it helps to know other people have gone thru this.

[af7680]

nugget:

ImMeeMee,


Just to share, I have recently attended a course at pathlight. I met this parent whose dd is already P4 there. She lives in Jurong (if I recalled correctly).

SHe told me she first put her dd into mainstream too.. But shortly after, her dd get bullied and was crying. She in the end sign up for pathlight.

She said pathlight helped her dd a lot. Its a very good school. Class room size is about 20 students but will have at least 2-4 teachers helping out.
Some are assistance teachers, some are special needs teachers to help to deal with sensory etc issues. Her dd is very well supported.

During the break, I went to the canteen and toilets.. I like the school environment too. There are lots of signs and picture display everywhere to help the students.

They are also very high tech. Teachers are using iMacs and IPads to conduct their lessons. I am super impressed.

If my son really cant adapt into mainstream. I will enroll him for pathlight next year.

Hi nugget
Which date did you go there ?
I was there too on 24 April and I was very impressed with their facilities .
And I also talked with a mother whose Son was transferred to path light from Maris Stella (did I type correct ?). Her son was bullied by a taller child in school who hit her son's head against railing or similar .
Now he is very very happy in path light and thriving .

[Double E]

Hmm, with so many examples of ASD kids being bullied in mainstream and eventually thrive in Pathlight, I really need to think through my options again. But when I speak to my son’s tutor, she kept saying that he can go mainstream. Academic wise, I think he can , is just the social part.


Nugget, your boy is going next year right? hope you can continue to be active in this forum to share your experience with us.

[nugget]

Double E,


Sure I am also learning leaps from everyone here. I consider this thread as my support group. Else I will be having depression already.

I know my son will be happy and will be able to strive in Pathlight. But our thought is that if he can adapt to mainstream and strive in that environment, it will be more beneficial for him. Cos come to a point, he need to learn how to adapt to mainstream no matter how.

There is no "special" society for kids like him in adulthood. But then… if he really need more time and help and cannot adapt to mainstream… then I will put him into pathlight.

His therapist say putting him to pathlight will give him less pressure and slowly they can train him to adapt to mainstream environment too. So it depends on how each parent want to path it out for their child.

There is really no right and wrong way. I am also taking that leap of faith.

[nugget]

regarding bullying…


I think we should teach our children how to deal with bullies rather than protecting them by putting them into safer places.

Bullies are everywhere. We cant protect our child (ASD or NT) from them forever. I am now teaching all my kids to fend themselves again bully instead.

Cos recently they got laugh at for doing some silly actions in public. My ASD kid wasnt bothered by it at all. But my NT boy was very offended and embarrassed and he doesn’t know how to react so he said "I am angry with you!" and pout and crossed his arms. …

So I think NT or ASD… they need to know how to handle bullies.

[phtthp]

dun mind if I ask a qn …

is there bullying inside Pathlight, or Totally no bullying at all ?

because if Pathlight really no bullying, then ok.

but if Pathlight also got bullying :-
then doesn’t matter anymore whether your child go Mainstream or Pathlight.

Or perhaps the right qn to ask is :-
if there is bullying inside Pathlight, then how do the teachers inside there rectify the problem ?

[helplessmum3]

Mummies beware …got child grabbing man in the lift around

[ImMeeMee]

phtthp:

dun mind if I ask a qn ...

is there bullying inside Pathlight, or Totally no bullying at all ?

because if Pathlight really no bullying, then ok.

but if Pathlight also got bullying :-
then doesn't matter anymore whether your child go Mainstream or Pathlight.

Or perhaps the right qn to ask is :-
if there is bullying inside Pathlight, then how do the teachers inside there rectify the problem ?

Bullying is an intent - to derive pleasure from seeing one's discomfort or misery.

Based on how ASD children are being wired, it seems unlikely that they can be bullies. One, they are literal individuals and do not have the convoluted thinking that is required when one bullies with intent. Second, they are more apathetic in nature, and seem unlikely to have the desire to derive pleasure from such actions.

I think one mummy said here that if there are any physical episodes in PL, it is likely due to children not being able to control their impulses due to certain sensory issues. Would that be considered bullying?

That is purely my speculation.