Super stubborn child

[jedamum]

smurf:

wah, very difficult task leh...how to control him...when he refuses to say sorry, means he refuses...no room for discussion...even if I take away his favourites...oh, and 1 thing he is very good in...he can cry for hrs...and I mean hrs...can drive one crazy kind...

if you can't control him at 2yo, do you think you stand a chance to get him to listen when he is 12?
try to find out why he refuses. is he afraid to be scolded hence the tough front? does he refuse cos he knows that there is no consequences?
yes, there is no room for discussion - if no apologies given, toy confiscated/privileged taken away. Period! when you take away his favs, when do you return to him?
crying for hours? it pays that i am stubborn. so long no injury, i let my child just cry it out.
good luck.

[smurf]

haha...you'll be surprised how I beat him, can see lines one...he is very afraid of cane, but I try very very very hard not to use it you see...he is only afraid of cane, nothing else...only cane...

[corneyAmber]

I suppose the only way is to be more stubborn than him.

[smurf]

you are right. I can't control him now...and no1 can i guess...if say I take away his favourites, he can cry for hrs...and I super can't stand it...let's say he cries himself to zzz, after 5 mins or so, he would cries in his zzz...every 5 mins...tell me, who can stand this?? :?


oh, he would vomit out his milk sometimes when crying, and would continue to do so...with mucus all over, and rubbing the mucus on planaket, etc. and if you wipe it away, he cries even louder...UNTIL you give him his favs...


let's say you give in and give back the favs to him, he would take it, BUT he takes it to throw it aside and then continue to do his deed again!

[jedamum]

ks2me:

I suppose the only way is to be more stubborn than him.

lolz. good tactic for a 2yo.

[smurf]

got white flag emoticons anot? i surrender…

[cnimed]

He’s being a normal two… Room for discussion - er, you should just tell him what is acceptable, no need to discuss. My ds2 is also like this. I keep his toys, even if he screams and cries. If he hit his brother, I instruct him on how to make amends. I tell him exactly what to say, and what to do. Otherwise he won’t know. Of course if I know he’s tired I will not push it. Also some kids ‘chi ruan bu chi ying’. Ds2 will respond to anger with more anger. But if you show him that what he has done has hurt you, he will immediately run to hug. I must admit at one stage I was so exasperated with him. Then I realised the problem is with me, not him. I am using the same parenting style I used with ds1, but they are very different. The attention he gets from me, is also very different. I have to change my attitude and mindset, and I really sat myself down to think things through. So i’m no longer merely reacting to him, but communicating my expectations while giving him more attention. The household became calmer and he more cooperative.

[smurf]

ks2me:

I suppose the only way is to be more stubborn than him.

I tried before, many times...doesn't work out...usually I surrender...cos he can cry for hrs one...

[cnimed]

You know, really sound like my ds2 at one stage, even the cring in sleep every 5 min and the throwing up. It was a very negative cycle and I told myself this can’t go on. What changed was my perception of him.

[smurf]

Hi deminc,


trying to use your method, it's hard, cos I dun have a lot of patience...but he seems to listen to 'tao li' (reasoning) more than cane...BUT, although he listens, but he will still do it again and again because he thinks it's very funny...although I dun think so...for caning, it works for a while, after 10 mins, back to his self...I think I need to give him more attention and communication...