No Problem is problem
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Funz:
i don't fetch slippers for my dh.Alamak this greeting at the door thing. DH brought it up a few times, complaining that no one welcomes him at the door when he is home. At the peak of my frustration, I told him to get a dog.
Ok, it is not that he comes home to indifference. When he arrives home, it is usually after all of us, we have already settled into our routine, kids with their toys or TV or school work, me with my work or my book or sometimes, we are in the middle of dinner. We greet him from wherever we are, you know, like \"Hi darling, how's your day.\" without breaking the momentum of what we are doing. I don't see why we should drop whatever we are doing to run to the door to say hello to him, everyday.
What is this thing about wifey and children running to the door the welcome you home? Need to fetch you your slippers and pour you a drink as well? That happens in reel family, not real family.
And he wants me to show appreciation to him for his effort in coming home to have dinner with us. For this, I just stared bug eyed at him. I am suppose to say thank you for THAT?!?!?!?
Ok better stop or else I will be ranting non-stop.
On the whole, yah, I agree, we need to tell our partners we care and we appreciate them. Some, like me, need to say it more and with more aplomb, ya know, like with banners and big band playing.
but i am expected to go to the door to greet him when he gets home.
earlier days when i did not, it led to much black-faced from my husband.
i asked myself why is he behaving like my dad? my dad expected us to open the door for him and greet him when he came home late from work, if we were still awake.
after the anger had subsided, dh explained. lots of stress at work, on the way back, all he thinks about is seeing me, so he gets upset when he did not see me at the door. he needs a hug at the door everyday as it is a way of leaving his stress at the doorstep. i realised that a simple gesture from me can ensure that he gets into a good mood for the rest of the evening, so why not? now i also make sure that the kids come out (of the study room) to greet the dad when he is home or going out.
maybe cos i am a SAHM, so i still have energy to do such things.
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3Boys:
I very scared to post in this thread.....
:lol: -
jedamum:
Somehow, I was touched when I read your post, Jedamum. Just a simple act of a hug and a greet to make another person's day better. Nice.
after the anger had subsided, dh explained. lots of stress at work, on the way back, all he thinks about is seeing me, so he gets upset when he did not see me at the door. he needs a hug at the door everyday as it is a way of leaving his stress at the doorstep. i realised that a simple gesture from me can ensure that he gets into a good mood for the rest of the evening, so why not? now i also make sure that the kids come out (of the study room) to greet the dad when he is home or going out.
:love: -
3Boys:
I very scared to post in this thread.....
Do u need us to cheer u on?!?
{in chanting mode}
:rahrah:*3boys* :rahrah: *3boys* :rahrah: *3boys* :rahrah:
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I luv to send my dh tn the basement carpark n wave gnodbye to him when he goes to work. My personal view, problem starts to surface when we take each other for granted.
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DH expects me to greet or say good bye when he returns from/goes to work.
Same reasons as provided by jedamum's DH and also DH says that most importantly, he was brought up like that, which is true. No matter how late he is or how busy his parents are, they will come to the door to wave goodbye or greet him. In fact, DH's uncle, who lives next door, will come out too. Its a very big thing in their family.
Its something that I had to pick up because things were really bo chap over at my home before I got married. Now, we have inculcated this habit in our DS.
In a way, its nice to know that he insists that I should be the last and first face he sees whenever he leaves/returns home. Its one of the ways that makes me feel wanted and that he is kinda emotionally dependent on me too.
In fact, we keep in touch several times a day via smses or calls.
:offtopic: I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it. -
autumnbronze:
I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.
Oh autumn :hugs:
You loved eachother, you both knew that.
No regrets :hugs:
Thank you for sharing. -
3Boys:
I very scared to post in this thread.....
Why leh?
After all that you've said and \"done\".
Come on, the ladies are cheering you on.
You can do it.
Or you need us to manja you on
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duriz:
We all learn from our mistakes, don't we? *wry smile*autumnbronze:
I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.
Oh autumn :hugs:
You loved eachother, you both knew that.
No regrets :hugs:
Thank you for sharing. -
And about this \"greeting and saying goodbye at the door\" thingy.
Now that I'm a FTWM.
DH and I leave for work at the same time.
We come home at the same time as well.
In the same car.
During the time MIL was sick and DH stayed home.
DH and DD are usually asleep when I leave home.
So I kissed the two of them before I leave.
They picked me after work.
So I kiss the both of them hello.
When I was a SAHM.
I drove him to to work.
And I picked him from work.
In between, should we go anywhere separately, we would kiss eachother goodbye and hello again when we get home.
I hug DH more than he does me.
But he tells me that he loves me more than I do to him.
We don't keep scores.
Our language of love is definitely different.
I'm more demonstrative and he is more verbal.
In any case, DD hugs us plenty and showers us with sloppy kisses everyday :love:
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