Me Time!
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Happy Mother’s Day!
I’ve been reflecting on my parenting style and thinking about what I could have done differently. One thing I’ve realized is the importance of creating 仪式感 for special occasions like birthdays and Mother’s Day etc. Perhaps I was a bit too careful with money then. I should have just spent time and money to celebrate these moments with the kids when they were young. Do you feel the same way?
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@PiggyLalala I’m not big on celebrations, so we keep ours low-key. I do feel that remembering the events are important, though. We do remember birthdays, mother/father’s days, anniversaries and whatever, but often just with a greeting. Special meals, presents etc aren’t necessary, so expenses are low. Some years, we may decide to eat out, and buy a present/flowers etc, but often we don’t bother.
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@slmkhoo I think you made a really good point — it is more about remembering the occasion than how it is celebrated. For me, sometimes I just let the occasion slip by quietly and unnoticed, especially when there is no real plan to celebrate.
This morning is super hot again.
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I’ve never been a big believer in celebrating occasions - until recently.
It seems like the world is changing so fast, and everyone is leading such separate lives. In some ways, I now value occasions to reconnect and reflect, and to enjoy each other’s company. Somehow, life feels very rushed these days, and I do think our mobile phones are a real distraction to deep connecting and conversations.
It’s not so much about splurging, but creating some memories of doing something together. It could be attempting to bake something, exploring a new part of Singapore etc. I quite enjoyed the weekend - we went to watch a standup comedy together. 1st time for my family. We usually do catch theatre productions once or twice a year (support the arts scene, plus I feel the local scriptwriting has come a long way), but standup comedy’s a first time for us.
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@doodbug As the kids get older, lives and activities diverge, even if they are still living at home. Now that we have 1 who has already moved out, we have to intentionally make time to spend time together. We try to eat dinner together once a week, whether there is any particular occasion to mark or not. And if there is a birthday or whatever, that gets tagged on to the regular meet up.
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@slmkhoo I suspect if my 2nd one also decides to study overseas later this year, I’m going to be suffering from empty nest syndrome.
Any other KSP mama in my shoes??I shall take it as advance preparation for kids getting married and flying the coup!
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Try traveling (even a short trip) or going out to eat with just one of them (kids). My experience is that you tend to “hear” more.
We don’t celebrate much either, but recently we’ve tried to make more time to do things together.
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@doodbug Yes, can be quite a shock, I think. I’ve always had one still at home, so the nest is not really “empty” even now. But she’s the quiet one who can be at home and we don’t really notice! I think hobbies and activities (social, volunteer, even work!) can take your mind off the emptiness. Spend more time doing stuff with your husband or other people, especially younger people. Staying in touch with the kids overseas is easier now - we set up a weekly Skype call with my daughter overseas just to talk in person, with occasional WA through the week.
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Skype is shutdown now!
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