Me Time!

[Liew Nga Wing]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2124463\" time=\"1701927501\" user_id=\"2358:

Learn to live and let go and be happier?

Thank you. Take some time to cool down.

[Liew Nga Wing]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124465\" time=\"1701931859\" user_id=\"43981:

Lnw, you may be at a little more fragile state right now? Or you want to share those sufferings when small that still strongly impact you now ?

It is OK, forget it.

[MrsKiasu]

On what happened when young and in a way shaped/impact our thinking, behaviours etc…as I have no parents by my side most time in my growing up years. I find myself very ignorant de.


On academics, I never know I need this A in order to achieve B in a easier way for eg. I only know when there is exam I need to study for it. What CCA I wouldn’t really know but somehow I remember joining UG with my friends. Very little almost none tuition. My parent will provide money and I can go tuition if I want to but I just don’t see the needs/importance of it.

I have no direction provided by adults. Many years later to now, I find it impossible to work on time table/schedule (except classroom time table). I am also unable to teach my kids on following what time do what etc. All free range style of growing up. It was because I know you all mommies that now I have some emphasis on my kids studies…else all free range, kampong style…everywhere, anything type. Our gen can survive coz during our time not that big proportion of people with degree. Now is different.

So if you ask me if I am happy with no limitations imposed…yes I m happy. But I think I would be happier to know why I m doing this instead of that, have some guidance from someone who know more than myself.

[sharonkhoo]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124472\" time=\"1701937395\" user_id=\"43981:

So if you ask me if I am happy with no limitations imposed..yes I m happy. But I think I would be happier to know why I m doing this instead of that, have some guidance from someone who know more than myself.

There's a balance to strike - happiness from complete freedom in youth is great, but what if that leads to regrets in later life? On the other hand, being forced to study under harsh conditions may also not lead to a great adulthood.

Do you have any relatives or friends who can give advice? Someone who is more familiar with the various pathways of education/skills training, knows (or can get to know) your kids' abilities and interests, and can help you and your kids strategise? Parents don't have all the answers, so we have to ask for help from our family and community. We are sometimes asked for help by cousins, nephews, nieces, friends etc - part of the pains/joys of having a big extended family.

[Coolkidsrock2]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124472\" time=\"1701937395\" user_id=\"43981:

On what happened when young and in a way shaped/impact our thinking, behaviours etc..as I have no parents by my side most time in my growing up years. I find myself very ignorant de.

On academics, I never know I need this A in order to achieve B in a easier way for eg. I only know when there is exam I need to study for it. What CCA I wouldn't really know but somehow I remember joining UG with my friends. Very little almost none tuition. My parent will provide money and I can go tuition if I want to but I just don't see the needs/importance of it.

I have no direction provided by adults. Many years later to now, I find it impossible to work on time table/schedule (except classroom time table). I am also unable to teach my kids on following what time do what etc. All free range style of growing up. It was because I know you all mommies that now I have some emphasis on my kids studies..else all free range, kampong style..everywhere, anything type. Our gen can survive coz during our time not that big proportion of people with degree. Now is different.

So if you ask me if I am happy with no limitations imposed..yes I m happy. But I think I would be happier to know why I m doing this instead of that, have some guidance from someone who know more than myself.

It may not be a bad thing to \"free range\" or 放养 kids. Gives them an opportunity to learn to be independent and solve their own problems. Have seen nearly 20 year-olds cry when encounter problems - 连求救的本能 also not developed.

[MrsKiasu]

Slmkhoo, no need extra help for myself. With maturity, life experiences and advices should be able to manage. I was just trying to tell lnw…coz she seems to be a bit worry for dd and similar cases.

[MrsKiasu]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2124475\" time=\"1701944127\" user_id=\"48901:

It may not be a bad thing to \"free range\" or 放养 kids. Gives them an opportunity to learn to be independent and solve their own problems. Have seen nearly 20 year-olds cry when encounter problems - 连求救的本能 also not developed.

I really admire your ability to 'let go' and let them 'fly'. It is a good thing to do..I would like to be that kid too.. but for parents need lots of courage, trust and believe, I would think.

[sharonkhoo]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124489\" time=\"1701959954\" user_id=\"43981:

I really admire your ability to 'let go' and let them 'fly'. It is a good thing to do..I would like to be that kid too.. but for parents need lots of courage, trust and believe, I would think.

Also a clear sense of what the child is able to be and do. Being uninvolved and non-directive works for some kids, but not for others. A lot depends on how well they've been taught, how disciplined they are, whether they have learnt to think and make good decisions for themselves. It's not just based on age. When they were toddlers, we based giving them limited freedom on how stable they were walk at walking/running etc, how capable they were with remembering rules, whether they had learnt not dashing into dangerous areas etc. We didn't just say - \"other kids can do this at 3yo, so you carry on\". Same for teens.

[Liew Nga Wing]

Home or family is not Prison Institutions, it is not necessary to have rules and regulations in place to ensure discipline is maintained.

[00skyblue00]

a lot has to do with the internal force within the child eventually he or she has. Before that happens, before child figured things out, all the directive and external force can only achieve not amount to much. That is why guiding and helping our children to seek their purpose in life is more important. But it is also the toughest job. How to do we carry it out before that happens? There is no certainty which is the right way. What’s worse is, can we accept whatever they have found as their purpose is? Or do we hope their purpose falls within certain category?


I remember, my kid pri sch P asked the sch P6s classes the same question, quite timely before mid year. What are their individual goal in life? Most kids gave the same reply. To get good PSLE results to get into so and so schools. Near to none really knows what do they like to do. Heard that the P told their class, only one said something about he would like to design his own machine which can do … The whole class knew immediately who it was who said that without P revealing the name. It was during covid year so P talk to each class through online on the big screen. Kids were in their classroom. Some even called out his name. When kids have found passion, they shine brightly so everyone will know. I believe.

I dont remember having a goal at that age too when I was young. Or something that I really like to do for that matter. But I also dont recall someone ever really asked and I ever get to talk abt such topic opnely among everyone in class too. I think the exercise will leave some impression to the children. It sure did to mine and me.

The P then talk to them about how she studied law but turned to education and became a school P. My kid related everything she learnt in that session to me.