Me Time!

[wonderm]

slmkhoo:

sleepy:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"] I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

I would be upset
Confirm throw them the unfilial hat

slmkhoo:

They say I am scary and frighten their friends

If they ever dare to say this, I would retort they are obviously mixing with the wrong crowd :mad:
Time to change friends

I don't take it to heart. I remember being a teen, and no matter how much you love your parents, there's a greater feeling of freedom and independence when you are on your own without them there. I never did anything I couldn't have let them see, and I trust my kids will be that way too. And I don't mind being called 'scary' - my kids say it with a grin and are only half-serious, but we all know that discipline levels are higher in our home than in many of their friends'. They don't resent it, but they know their friends may not be used to someone like me![/quote]Are you referring to their outings and gatherings with friends? These won't have attendance forms to fill/sign, right?

For school activities where parents are invited, they would also prefer you not to go?

[sharonkhoo]

sleepy:

Do you shop for clothes with your girls?

Or they go shopping with their friends?

I don't think they have ever shopped for clothes with friends as they think it's a waste of time. We all don't like shopping. For basics (casuals and underwear), they are happy if I will buy for them and they don't care about choosing. For things that I need them for fitting (shoes, dresses etc), we will have to go together. My job is to persuade them to look long enough to buy something so it's not a wasted trip. They are even more conservative and unadventurous than I am for them, and they don't like to spend money, even though I am paying, so our shopping trips can be tiring - I nag them to buy more, they just want to go home!

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

but I have said that if they misbehave in certain ways, I will accompany them everywhere, visit school to talk to their teachers etc. Works like charm!

dd2 is too young to comment. My 12 yo dd1 is appreciative of my over powering control though. If I don't want her to do something, I will simply tell her that's because she's my 宝贝。She said it is much better to have attention (although sometimes too much attention since I 管太多）than being neglect.

dd1 has a classmate who is neglected by her mum. dd1 saw the cold interaction between mother and daughter when she visited that classmate's house. She's surprised because we are usually all over each other at home. So dd1 feels that she would feel terrible if in that classmate's situation.

That's right. Be grateful that I care for her. So I just have to throw her that 'because you're my 宝贝' sentence to get MY way :evil:

[sharonkhoo]

wonderm:

Are you referring to their outings and gatherings with friends? These won't have attendance forms to fill/sign, right?


For school activities where parents are invited, they would also prefer you not to go?

Depends on the school event. For outings and gatherings, they prefer me not to be there and not to volunteer to help. Actually, it's mainly my younger one - the older one doesn't mind me being around. But my younger one will be acting later this year, and she's getting tickets for all of us to watch. I think she's OK if I'm there but not actually with her, if you know what I mean. I see it as her stretching her wings, and as she still tells me a lot of stuff at home and I can see she's a sensible kid, I'm happy to let her be more independent of us. She was homeschooled a lot until last year, and we have been very involved in her friends and activities growing up, so I think it's fine to let her be more independent now she's nearly 15. I'm sure if I insisted, she wouldn't make a huge fuss about me being at her activities, but it suits both of us if I hang back more now. My older one tends to be more dependent, so I intentionally hang back so she is forced to be more independent.

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

sleepy:

Do you shop for clothes with your girls?

Or they go shopping with their friends?

I don't think they have ever shopped for clothes with friends as they think it's a waste of time. We all don't like shopping. For basics (casuals and underwear), they are happy if I will buy for them and they don't care about choosing. For things that I need them for fitting (shoes, dresses etc), we will have to go together. My job is to persuade them to look long enough to buy something so it's not a wasted trip. They are even more conservative and unadventurous than I am for them, and they don't like to spend money, even though I am paying, so our shopping trips can be tiring - I nag them to buy more, they just want to go home!

Wow, your girls are unique. I always thought girls like to shop. I remember shopping with my cousin during our teens. She can grab 10 skirts in 1 shopping trip.

Now dd1 wears my clothes. We share most of my wardrobe although not entirely since some are not as suitable. I hope she would continue to like my taste. She said her friends dress code are so boring. Just tees and pants. Her friends are not too agreeable with her dress sense though, always raise their eyebrows and ask her why she dress that way She wears most of my mphosis collection. I also like to dress her up like korean pop girls generation's Gee mtv style.

Oh, my girls are stingy in the sense that they always tell me don't spend too much money (whenever I'm out shopping) which I will retort I spend a lot more on their tuition :rant: I give them a budget if shopping for their CNY clothes and shoes

[sharonkhoo]

sleepy:

Oh I see. Now she wears my clothes. We share most of my wardrobe although not entirely since some are not as suitable.


I hope she would continue to like my taste. She said her friends dress code are so boring. Just tees and pants. Her friends are not too agreeable with her dress sense though, always raise their eyebrows and ask her why she dress that way

She wears most of my mphosis collection. I also like to dress her up like korean pop girls generation's Gee mtv style.

I am even more boring than they are in dressing. I'm now trying to persuade them NOT to dress like me! After all, they are teenagers, I am middle-aged! I have suggested that they shop with friends so that they can get more trendy and young-ish items, but they aren't willing. I have also suggested getting one of my friends (who is in the clothing/fashion business) to take them shopping one day, but so far they are not willing. I think they are like the friends your daughter refers to!

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

I have also suggested getting one of my friends (who is in the clothing/fashion business) to take them shopping one day, but so far they are not willing.

How about reading teens magazine?
There's always photos of teenage models or advertisements from boutiques. Not necessary to buy from same shop advertised. Just get some inspiration or general idea will do, so you know which shirt/skirt/accessory to suggest to your teenage girls

I read teens magazine sometimes

[starlight1968sg]

sleepy:

I read teens magazine sometimes

Pardon me, what is those real fine print?

[bb_ mom]

starlight1968sg:

sleepy:

I read teens magazine sometimes

Pardon me, what is those real fine print?

She shy about reading teen mags cos she goes goo goo ga ga over Kpop stars. Sh....

[Sun_2010]

starlight1968sg:

sleepy:

I read teens magazine sometimes

Pardon me, what is those real fine print?

:nunchuk: sleepy - testing our eye....