Me Time!

[MrsKiasu]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2123871\" time=\"1701134610\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2123871 time=1701134610 user_id=195250]
MrsKiasu,

I have watched this youtube video last night on students issues and really hope to share with you and all parents here.
Since the sub-titles is in traditional Chinese, let me know if you need to translate it to English.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_QhFbsk3TQ[/quote]

Thanks lnw..will save it.

[sharonkhoo]

Just read through the above posts and would like to make a couple of comments:

1. I don’t think that just having tuition is depriving a child of having a full childhood. In fact, judicious use of tuition can free up time for a child who might be taking too long to puzzle things out for himself, or reduce the mental anguish of struggling without help. As in all things, it will differ for each child, and often the best solution is somewhere in between the extremes. And I agree with LeeYL that simply letting a child play and enjoy throughout their childhood is not a good thing - there is a time for play, and also a time for studies, responsibility, delayed gratification, etc. The balance shifts according to the age of the child and the situation.

2. It’s actually not true that "all roads lead to Rome", if by that we mean that everyone can reach the same outcome. But I do believe that we can frame "Rome" for each child so that they can achieve it, and have the satisfaction of success. My 2 daughters will never have the same "Rome", but as long as each gets to where they are happy, and they are satisfied that they have done their best and proud of their achievements, I think that’s a good outcome.

[Imp75]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2123884\" time=\"1701144736\" user_id=\"43981:

You are one lucky mama, Imp. They are cruising through. I hope I could see it at my end..one day lor.

I don’t think this is luck. I purposely stopped work for a couple of years sacrificing the huge paychecks and promotions to “nurture” them without any tuition or help. I hv economies of scale as I have 3 young girls back then. I think their foundation was laid as I was there nearby to supervise them and assign work as desired. I was also always around the school doing volunteer work. All these don’t come magically but a concerted effort to make my presence felt. For my sports girl, I was there all the time providing logistics, physical and emotional support, including getting chummy with everyone in the sport fraternity. This “networking” also required a lot of effort.

[Liew Nga Wing]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2123873\" time=\"1701135943\" user_id=\"17023:

Have you not come across any Singaporean kids who enjoy FULL childhood without any tuition since day 1? I have seen one such case. My cousin truly believes that kids should enjoy their childhood. Her house is full of toys and candies and she still pats her (teenage) kids to sleep every night!!

Both her kids are currently in sec sch and only interested in gummies, candies, playing toys /watch YouTube videos. I am not sure if niece/nephew can even graduate even if sent to overseas Uni because they aren’t ambitious, hate books plus values of delayed gratification, hard work, discipline and perseverance were not instilled in them since young.

Actually, I hope I were your niece/nephew.....but no chance already as I am an old auntie now. :slapshead:

[MrsKiasu]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2123887\" time=\"1701146434\" user_id=\"2358:

I don’t think this is luck. I purposely stopped work for a couple of years sacrificing the huge paychecks and promotions to “nurture” them without any tuition or help. I hv economies of scale as I have 3 young girls back then. I think their foundation was laid as I was there nearby to supervise them and assign work as desired. I was also always around the school doing volunteer work. All these don’t come magically but a concerted effort to make my presence felt. For my sports girl, I was there all the time providing logistics, physical and emotional support, including getting chummy with everyone in the sport fraternity. This “networking” also required a lot of effort.

Lots of sacrifices!

[MrsKiasu]

Tho I m not that pushy type (at least that's what I think). I don't agree with totally no need to nag them to study during non school holidays. Now my side already makes me feel guilty sometimes coz I let them totally on their own ..no need touch academic books once the year end exam is over. Many ppl see also cannot stand de. But I m telling myself it is a school holiday. And every school holiday is like that :stupid: but never mind la..it is a school holiday lor

[Imp75]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2123889\" time=\"1701146957\" user_id=\"43981:

Lots of sacrifices!

Yalo not hoping that they’ll be grateful but more hoping they do not need to depend on me when they graduate. I really hate to see grown-up adults still dependent on elderly parents for living expenses.

[Imp75]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2123890\" time=\"1701147280\" user_id=\"43981:

Tho I m not that pushy type (at least that's what I think). I don't agree with totally no need to nag them to study during non school holidays. Now my side already makes me feel guilty sometimes coz I let them totally on their own ..no need touch academic books once the year end exam is over. Many ppl see also cannot stand de. But I m telling myself it is a school holiday. And every school holiday is like that :stupid: but never mind la..it is a school holiday lor

Tbh you are not alone in not enforcing study schedule during Sch holi. I also believe Sch holi is well-deserved break and they can social media all day for all I care. Whether they wanna do Sch assigned work, I leave it to them to face the consequences if they don’t. I also don’t believe in self study or advanced study ahead. My girls don’t do that and I don’t see results impacted in any way. Of course they could have done better with all these pushing but at the end of the day, it’s for what and why? The end game is the same.

[MrsKiasu]

One of my own main stress is whenever I think of why I let go of my career …end of day both also ‘don’t have achievements’. Esp when we are not the young ones ie gave birth early then by the time go out again still young. Those kind of feelings not easy to overcome…well we can suppress but guess difficult to eliminate. Sometimes I gave up thinking abt it…will feel very light. But whenever I see those friends around me living exciting and purposeful lives, I will kinda of think…how nice if I have that too. Well, now can only think kids should be happy that I been around with them…dh has much lesser worries and able to focus on his job. For me, I will just maybe increase my passive income? Maybe that can be considered 对得起自己吧。。

[MrsKiasu]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2123892\" time=\"1701147697\" user_id=\"2358:

Tbh you are not alone in not enforcing study schedule during Sch holi. I also believe Sch holi is well-deserved break and they can social media all day for all I care. Whether they wanna do Sch assigned work, I leave it to them to face the consequences if they don’t. I also don’t believe in self study or advanced study ahead. My girls don’t do that and I don’t see results impacted in any way. Of course they could have done better with all these pushing but at the end of the day, it’s for what and why? The end game is the same.

That's good to know..