In-law problems?

[janet88]

If I were to cook, of course I will cook for my own mum lah. After all, MIL doesn’t believe in nutrition…everyday 打包 from downstairs. She doesn’t appreciate home-cooked meals. The stall-owners from her coffee shop downstairs know her so well esp the hair-dressing salon.

Even my grandmother who stays alone steams rice and fish for her meals. If my children were looked after by her, every meal will either be chicken rice/char siew rice or economy rice. After all, that’s what my hubby grew up eating.

[shine_fs]

Mrs Ang:

My relationship with my mil has turned sour after she played me out twice on helping to take care of my bb. I have chosen to stay far away from my work place and parent becos mil has promised to take care of future grandchildren. Who knows just 2 weeks before I finished my maternity leave, she said cannot help to take care of bb. I searched desperately all the CCC ard my area and only managed to find one 30 mins bus ride from my house. Mil has given me and DH so much problem due to her last minute decision and fickleness. When she tried the third time, my DH was the first to reject his mum \"kind\" offer to take care of bb. DH doesn't want to take the risk of redrawing bb out from CCC and lost the place if his mum played him out again. Mil got so angry and said it is easier to take care of other pple bb! I was :!: as she has only tried taking care of BB for a few days and haven't tried the nite care.


My DH is the only son with 2 still single sisters. I cannot imagine staying with such a selfish mil who don't mind putting her first 3 mth old grandchild in CCC. In additional, we don't have car so poor bb has to take bus every day. BB leave home every morning ard 7 am and reached home after 7.15 pm. My DH know that I'm still angry with his mum :x

Your story reminded me....of my MIL.....Before we married, she told me that she will not take care of bb if we have one. But once her daugther pregnant, she quickly offered to take care her bb. Frankly speaking, I was very happy cos I din even think of letting her to look after mine.

After few years, I was pregnant and my mum will be helping me to take care of my bb. Guess what my MIL told my mum...\"So pitiful, no one take care of the bb\". When I heard that I was so :x What's she trying to do......?

[shine_fs]

janet_lee88:

Mumma_bear,

I wouldn't want stay in the same estate as IL...each time I have to face the hubby's mother, the atmosphere is rather tensed and there is no topic other than talking about the weather.
You are really indeed a lucky woman to have ILs for support for marital problems. At least they won't side their son blindly. :x I never voice out my unhappiness with hubby bcos his mummy dearest will defend him.

When I was choosing the flat/estate, my MIL told us not to stay West Coast area...I was :? Why she was so concern of where we stay? Then she told us that her elder son is going to stay around that area.

So I was :x and told her off. The estate is not OWNED by your son. We will stay there and asked your son to choose other estate. Why must we give in.....SEOW!

[shine_fs]

auntieM:

Mine did the same when she moved house and brought a miniload to my doorstep.. ...

My DH was around and the load vanished after the garang guni man, didn't even make it into the house.. ..heng ah

Few years ago(3rd day of CNY), my MIL & FIL came to our house. I rememered that time, we were prepared to go out for house visiting.

So, I told my MIL next time (hopefully no next time) call b4 coming. She replied \"If you guys not in, we will go to SIL's house lor\". I looked at her and walked back to my bedroom (thinking no point telling her). :stupid:

Y all the MILs don't call huh :?

[Luvkid]

janet_lee88:

Strange, why is she bringing water from her place to your place to water plants.

This wonders me too. My omnly conclusion is being too free after filling stomach. (in hokkien-Jia ba liao, ying ying bo tai ji ) She is working though but still come over as frequent as once everyday, recently seem better, once a week. She really buay zi tong (not automatic), will stay till 10pm on weekday. With her around, kids dun want to sleep, i would indirectly hint her off by telling the kids,\"It's late now ,coming to 10pm, not early anymore. We got to sleep, still got school/work on tmr, dun just stay awake and do NOTHING, we are not FREE ppl, go and sleep\" But look like she dun get the hint. This remind me 1 ocassion that really made me :x with her, and i politely told her that \"i putting the kids to bed, u sit hor,\" she replied,\" hor ok, go and sleep\". I was :x & answered that,\"i dun deserve good life to sleep that early, still got task for me to complete....\" She replied,\"Then u shouldn't have marry my XX (DH name), he must have have toturing u\". I talked back \"YES, it is obvious he is sitting there doing NOTHING while i was juggling with kids and houshold chores before i can end the day\" And she continue blah,blah,blah.....


Throughout these 8 years after DS1 was born, MIL has been a nuisance. And being unreasonable. I have been trying hard not to post my comment on her on here since i have been considering myself for being the fortunate on as compared to some of u, but still i am venting here today.... There are more of cos, 1 day 1 night just can't finish my MIL story.....

[Luvkid]

shine_fs:

Y all the MILs don't call huh :?

I got this problem with my MIL too, she will suddenly pop at our door/window, of cos encountering cases where we were about to go jalan jalan, she would said,\"why nothing better to do huh?\" I feel like shouting,\" what is it have to do with you!!!\" On saturday & sunday, in order to aviod her from coming, i roughly catch the timing, i would suggest DH to go ANYWHERE :roll: At time, my kids shouted \"AH MAH\" at the coridoor, my heart got \"shattere\" & \"hot\" at that moment......DH being filial will offer her to go along, when she tagged along, the car journey was like :gloomy: I dun look forward for her visiting......

[shine_fs]

Luvkid:

shine_fs:

Y all the MILs don't call huh :?

I got this problem with my MIL too, she will suddenly pop at our door/window, of cos encountering cases where we were about to go jalan jalan, she would said,\"why nothing better to do huh?\" I feel like shouting,\" what is it have to do with you!!!\" On saturday & sunday, in order to aviod her from coming, i roughly catch the timing, i would suggest DH to go ANYWHERE :roll: At time, my kids shouted \"AH MAH\" at the coridoor, my heart got \"shattere\" & \"hot\" at that moment......DH being filial will offer her to go along, when she tagged along, the car journey was like :gloomy: I dun look forward for her visiting......

Closed all the door/windows and ask the kids to do thing w/o noise.... :evil:

My MIL told me she will not open the door when her MIL knock on her door. And I saw it once, my MIL did it infront of me :!:
In my heart, I say...I will do it to you too.... :idea:

[Luvkid]

shine_fs:

Closed all the door/windows and ask the kids to do thing w/o noise.... :evil:

no no for me, this is too obvious, DH will be :rant: at me.
[quote]My MIL told me she will not open the door when her MIL knock on her door. And I saw it once, my MIL did it infront of me [/quote]
Wow this really :!: & :faint:
p/s: Yr MIL's MIL is still around? U must be pretty young huh?

[quote]In my heart, I say...I will do it to you too.... [/quote]
followed her GOOD example..... :rotflmao:

[Angelight]

janet_lee88:

Angelight,

For those ladies who get along well with their MILs, it's really a wonderful thing...bcos they have one triumph card on their side when couple fights.

yes, it's indeed a blessing to have a MIL who loves you like her own daughter. Ironically, my MIL is very nice to her other DIL (wife of her favourite son) but to me, it's another story And she has no qualms of showing her favouritism in front of her 2 sons and DILs, made me feel very uncomfortable when she did that.

And her prejudice towards me started way back even before I married into her family. She even forced DH to break up with me...but DH although very filial did not listen to her this once and persevered on in his love for me. :love:

Even after we are married, she is still a controlling force in our life, caused me a lot of heartache, tears and even depression...*sigh* can't even tell my whole painful experience in just one post...

[HappyAvon]

Everyone has a story to share about their MIL...Talking about my MIL, I was very pissed off many years back but they are now history and seeing my adorable girl growing up, I had put all the past behind...When I was pregnant with DD few years back, we did discuss who should we engaged to take care of the baby...My DH is very sure his mother will help for the 1st year and so we did not look for other options...My own mother has knee replacement and will not be convenient to look after little one....I had a premature delivery during my 7th month pregnancy and u know how stressful to be running in and out of hospital everyday during my confinement? When baby had stayed for 40 days in hospital to reach the 2 kg mark, we finally brought her home and MIL is already in our home....I admit at times I can get so frustrated with her in the way she handle things and I will throw my temper...Instead of trying to understand my situation, she told us she wanted to return to her hometown in KL and asking us to look for other alternatives ASAP...At that moment, I was so sad and we enrolled our little girl in infant care when she was like 4-5 mths old...Just within 2 months, she caught a flu and escalated to bronchitis...She was admitted to hospital for treatment...She got another relapse of bronchitis later and immediately i know infant care is not suitable for her..probably her immune system is still weak..I was hunting high and low for a nearby babysitter and managed to get one kind aunty living opposite my block who wanted to help...She is a vegetarian and that means my little girl must follow her diet...I have no other choices then....The nanny dotes on my little one and prepare stuffs like brown rice, millets, soya bean etc for her...She made the effort to grind them into powder...We became good friends till today. As for my MIL, I was very angry with her at that time but I don't blame her completely....Probably we did not understand each other well and so we have conflicts....My hubby knows about my unhappiness and if he dares to mention it, I will tell him off that he created the whole thing! He was the one who confirmed his mum can take care of her for the 1st year!!! We still make frequent visit to her and now our relationship are getting better.....Through mutual understanding, she understands my character and temper better....During our last visit, we talked about the past and she did tell me she cannot tahan my temper and that's why she decided to leave....For me, I did not mention anything but just smiled at her and told her its all history....But actually, she should understand about post delivery...Its not easy on my part too....The feeling is like roller coaster..You just got to go thru so many series of cardiac arrest when my little one was in hospital...One issue after another...Luckily today, she is a healthy girl...Seeing her growing up everyday is a happy process for me....