In-law problems?

[janet88]

Luvkid:

Once my mil brought a pail of water from the fish tank (think the fish was dead cos that pail of water really fishy smelly like dun know what to describe), she gotta walk 2 streets (10-15 min walk) from her plc to our plc, just to water our plants :roll: 1 or 2 pots of plants are from her plc, she brought them over. After that fishy water, she dun bring fishy water, she came and reprimand us (DH and i) being lazy not to water the plants. DH the filial one just nodded, ok lah,ok lah. Me trying to be filial too, bluffed her ,\"Got water leh, dried up so fast huh\" But being reprimand by her ,\"Dun come and bluff lah\" and used that sickening eyes and voice. There was time i answered back \"Looking after them (2 DS) already make me upside down, where to free to do such thing\" Of cos, being reprimand by her again lor, I can only xx lor.... Feel like telling her,\" since the plants make u so busy to come over frequently to juz water, why dun just bring them back\" But DH is the filial one, i can only close one eye.....This is just minor thing, make do make me feel sick against mil.... of cos with accumulated past past incidents....

Strange, why is she bringing water from her place to your place to water plants. When hubby plays filial son, we as DIL can't say anything...I understand your situation.

When my hubby went for eye operation earlier, my parents looked after my 2 kids. That old one :x expected me to stay overnight in the hospital to accompany hubby. She asked me which hospital and I told her SGH. Guess what, she told me, 'I old already, don't know where it is'. I was so boiling mad, and told her, 'you don't know never mind. Taxi driver knows'. Sh!@, my parents looking after the kids and here she is telling cock and bull story. If she so called loves her son, then don't give that crap.

[mumma_bear]

janet_lee88:

Angelight,

For those ladies who get along well with their MILs, it's really a wonderful thing...bcos they have one triumph card on their side when couple fights.

I've been very lucky for having supportive ILs..I can even call them for advices if we have marital problems at times. But for those who have problems with their ILs, i think it would be much better if you don't live close by. It gives all of you a space to breath and it oftentimes is the best solution to avoid conflicts. I hope all your situation gets better in time, it is still nice to experience harmony between families.

[janet88]

Mumma_bear,

I wouldn’t want stay in the same estate as IL…each time I have to face the hubby’s mother, the atmosphere is rather tensed and there is no topic other than talking about the weather.
You are really indeed a lucky woman to have ILs for support for marital problems. At least they won’t side their son blindly. :x I never voice out my unhappiness with hubby bcos his mummy dearest will defend him.

[shine_fs]

minnie2004:

DesertWind:

What did my MIL says? Needless to say she was very touched but I expected it and she said to me \" You should have done this ma...!\".

haha, my MIL wud have said the same thing. don't know why all DILs are expected to be good cooks . If I do cook on mother's day, sorry I'm cooking for my own mom not you lah

:cheeky: same here I will cook for my mom, NOT you(MIL).... :celebrate:

[janet88]

If I were to cook, of course I will cook for my own mum lah. After all, MIL doesn’t believe in nutrition…everyday 打包 from downstairs. She doesn’t appreciate home-cooked meals. The stall-owners from her coffee shop downstairs know her so well esp the hair-dressing salon.

Even my grandmother who stays alone steams rice and fish for her meals. If my children were looked after by her, every meal will either be chicken rice/char siew rice or economy rice. After all, that’s what my hubby grew up eating.

[shine_fs]

Mrs Ang:

My relationship with my mil has turned sour after she played me out twice on helping to take care of my bb. I have chosen to stay far away from my work place and parent becos mil has promised to take care of future grandchildren. Who knows just 2 weeks before I finished my maternity leave, she said cannot help to take care of bb. I searched desperately all the CCC ard my area and only managed to find one 30 mins bus ride from my house. Mil has given me and DH so much problem due to her last minute decision and fickleness. When she tried the third time, my DH was the first to reject his mum \"kind\" offer to take care of bb. DH doesn't want to take the risk of redrawing bb out from CCC and lost the place if his mum played him out again. Mil got so angry and said it is easier to take care of other pple bb! I was :!: as she has only tried taking care of BB for a few days and haven't tried the nite care.


My DH is the only son with 2 still single sisters. I cannot imagine staying with such a selfish mil who don't mind putting her first 3 mth old grandchild in CCC. In additional, we don't have car so poor bb has to take bus every day. BB leave home every morning ard 7 am and reached home after 7.15 pm. My DH know that I'm still angry with his mum :x

Your story reminded me....of my MIL.....Before we married, she told me that she will not take care of bb if we have one. But once her daugther pregnant, she quickly offered to take care her bb. Frankly speaking, I was very happy cos I din even think of letting her to look after mine.

After few years, I was pregnant and my mum will be helping me to take care of my bb. Guess what my MIL told my mum...\"So pitiful, no one take care of the bb\". When I heard that I was so :x What's she trying to do......?

[shine_fs]

janet_lee88:

Mumma_bear,

I wouldn't want stay in the same estate as IL...each time I have to face the hubby's mother, the atmosphere is rather tensed and there is no topic other than talking about the weather.
You are really indeed a lucky woman to have ILs for support for marital problems. At least they won't side their son blindly. :x I never voice out my unhappiness with hubby bcos his mummy dearest will defend him.

When I was choosing the flat/estate, my MIL told us not to stay West Coast area...I was :? Why she was so concern of where we stay? Then she told us that her elder son is going to stay around that area.

So I was :x and told her off. The estate is not OWNED by your son. We will stay there and asked your son to choose other estate. Why must we give in.....SEOW!

[shine_fs]

auntieM:

Mine did the same when she moved house and brought a miniload to my doorstep.. ...

My DH was around and the load vanished after the garang guni man, didn't even make it into the house.. ..heng ah

Few years ago(3rd day of CNY), my MIL & FIL came to our house. I rememered that time, we were prepared to go out for house visiting.

So, I told my MIL next time (hopefully no next time) call b4 coming. She replied \"If you guys not in, we will go to SIL's house lor\". I looked at her and walked back to my bedroom (thinking no point telling her). :stupid:

Y all the MILs don't call huh :?

[Luvkid]

janet_lee88:

Strange, why is she bringing water from her place to your place to water plants.

This wonders me too. My omnly conclusion is being too free after filling stomach. (in hokkien-Jia ba liao, ying ying bo tai ji ) She is working though but still come over as frequent as once everyday, recently seem better, once a week. She really buay zi tong (not automatic), will stay till 10pm on weekday. With her around, kids dun want to sleep, i would indirectly hint her off by telling the kids,\"It's late now ,coming to 10pm, not early anymore. We got to sleep, still got school/work on tmr, dun just stay awake and do NOTHING, we are not FREE ppl, go and sleep\" But look like she dun get the hint. This remind me 1 ocassion that really made me :x with her, and i politely told her that \"i putting the kids to bed, u sit hor,\" she replied,\" hor ok, go and sleep\". I was :x & answered that,\"i dun deserve good life to sleep that early, still got task for me to complete....\" She replied,\"Then u shouldn't have marry my XX (DH name), he must have have toturing u\". I talked back \"YES, it is obvious he is sitting there doing NOTHING while i was juggling with kids and houshold chores before i can end the day\" And she continue blah,blah,blah.....


Throughout these 8 years after DS1 was born, MIL has been a nuisance. And being unreasonable. I have been trying hard not to post my comment on her on here since i have been considering myself for being the fortunate on as compared to some of u, but still i am venting here today.... There are more of cos, 1 day 1 night just can't finish my MIL story.....

[Luvkid]

shine_fs:

Y all the MILs don't call huh :?

I got this problem with my MIL too, she will suddenly pop at our door/window, of cos encountering cases where we were about to go jalan jalan, she would said,\"why nothing better to do huh?\" I feel like shouting,\" what is it have to do with you!!!\" On saturday & sunday, in order to aviod her from coming, i roughly catch the timing, i would suggest DH to go ANYWHERE :roll: At time, my kids shouted \"AH MAH\" at the coridoor, my heart got \"shattere\" & \"hot\" at that moment......DH being filial will offer her to go along, when she tagged along, the car journey was like :gloomy: I dun look forward for her visiting......