In-law problems?
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janet_lee88:
Strange, why is she bringing water from her place to your place to water plants.
This wonders me too. My omnly conclusion is being too free after filling stomach. (in hokkien-Jia ba liao, ying ying bo tai ji
) She is working though but still come over as frequent as once everyday, recently seem better, once a week. She really buay zi tong (not automatic), will stay till 10pm on weekday. With her around, kids dun want to sleep, i would indirectly hint her off by telling the kids,\"It's late now ,coming to 10pm, not early anymore. We got to sleep, still got school/work on tmr, dun just stay awake and do NOTHING, we are not FREE ppl, go and sleep\" But look like she dun get the hint. This remind me 1 ocassion that really made me :x with her, and i politely told her that \"i putting the kids to bed, u sit hor,\" she replied,\" hor ok, go and sleep\". I was :x & answered that,\"i dun deserve good life to sleep that early, still got task for me to complete....\" She replied,\"Then u shouldn't have marry my XX (DH name), he must have have toturing u\". I talked back \"YES, it is obvious he is sitting there doing NOTHING while i was juggling with kids and houshold chores before i can end the day\" And she continue blah,blah,blah.....
Throughout these 8 years after DS1 was born, MIL has been a nuisance. And being unreasonable. I have been trying hard not to post my comment on her on here since i have been considering myself for being the fortunate on as compared to some of u, but still i am venting here today....
There are more of cos, 1 day 1 night just can't finish my MIL story..... 
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shine_fs:
Y all the MILs don't call huh :?
I got this problem with my MIL too, she will suddenly pop at our door/window, of cos encountering cases where we were about to go jalan jalan, she would said,\"why nothing better to do huh?\" I feel like shouting,\" what is it have to do with you!!!\" On saturday & sunday, in order to aviod her from coming, i roughly catch the timing, i would suggest DH to go ANYWHERE :roll: At time, my kids shouted \"AH MAH\" at the coridoor, my heart got \"shattere\" & \"hot\" at that moment......DH being filial will offer her to go along, when she tagged along, the car journey was like :gloomy: I dun look forward for her visiting...... -
Luvkid:
Closed all the door/windows and ask the kids to do thing w/o noise.... :evil:shine_fs:
Y all the MILs don't call huh :?
I got this problem with my MIL too, she will suddenly pop at our door/window, of cos encountering cases where we were about to go jalan jalan, she would said,\"why nothing better to do huh?\" I feel like shouting,\" what is it have to do with you!!!\" On saturday & sunday, in order to aviod her from coming, i roughly catch the timing, i would suggest DH to go ANYWHERE :roll: At time, my kids shouted \"AH MAH\" at the coridoor, my heart got \"shattere\" & \"hot\" at that moment......DH being filial will offer her to go along, when she tagged along, the car journey was like :gloomy: I dun look forward for her visiting......
My MIL told me she will not open the door when her MIL knock on her door. And I saw it once, my MIL did it infront of me :!:
In my heart, I say...I will do it to you too.... :idea: -
shine_fs:
Closed all the door/windows and ask the kids to do thing w/o noise.... :evil:
no no for me, this is too obvious, DH will be :rant: at me.
[quote]My MIL told me she will not open the door when her MIL knock on her door. And I saw it once, my MIL did it infront of me [/quote]
Wow this really :!: & :faint:
p/s: Yr MIL's MIL is still around? U must be pretty young huh?
[quote]In my heart, I say...I will do it to you too.... [/quote]
followed her GOOD example..... :rotflmao: -
janet_lee88:
yes, it's indeed a blessing to have a MIL who loves you like her own daughter. Ironically, my MIL is very nice to her other DIL (wife of her favourite son) but to me, it's another storyAngelight,
For those ladies who get along well with their MILs, it's really a wonderful thing...bcos they have one triumph card on their side when couple fights.
And she has no qualms of showing her favouritism in front of her 2 sons and DILs, made me feel very uncomfortable when she did that.
And her prejudice towards me started way back even before I married into her family. She even forced DH to break up with me...but DH although very filial did not listen to her this once and persevered on in his love for me. :love:
Even after we are married, she is still a controlling force in our life, caused me a lot of heartache, tears and even depression...*sigh* can't even tell my whole painful experience in just one post... -
Everyone has a story to share about their MIL...Talking about my MIL, I was very pissed off many years back but they are now history and seeing my adorable girl growing up, I had put all the past behind...When I was pregnant with DD few years back, we did discuss who should we engaged to take care of the baby...My DH is very sure his mother will help for the 1st year and so we did not look for other options...My own mother has knee replacement and will not be convenient to look after little one....I had a premature delivery during my 7th month pregnancy and u know how stressful to be running in and out of hospital everyday during my confinement? When baby had stayed for 40 days in hospital to reach the 2 kg mark, we finally brought her home and MIL is already in our home....I admit at times I can get so frustrated with her in the way she handle things and I will throw my temper...Instead of trying to understand my situation, she told us she wanted to return to her hometown in KL and asking us to look for other alternatives ASAP...At that moment, I was so sad and we enrolled our little girl in infant care when she was like 4-5 mths old...Just within 2 months, she caught a flu and escalated to bronchitis...She was admitted to hospital for treatment...She got another relapse of bronchitis later and immediately i know infant care is not suitable for her..probably her immune system is still weak..I was hunting high and low for a nearby babysitter and managed to get one kind aunty living opposite my block who wanted to help...She is a vegetarian and that means my little girl must follow her diet...I have no other choices then....The nanny dotes on my little one and prepare stuffs like brown rice, millets, soya bean etc for her...She made the effort to grind them into powder...We became good friends till today. As for my MIL, I was very angry with her at that time but I don't blame her completely....Probably we did not understand each other well and so we have conflicts....My hubby knows about my unhappiness and if he dares to mention it, I will tell him off that he created the whole thing! He was the one who confirmed his mum can take care of her for the 1st year!!! We still make frequent visit to her and now our relationship are getting better.....Through mutual understanding, she understands my character and temper better....During our last visit, we talked about the past and she did tell me she cannot tahan my temper and that's why she decided to leave....For me, I did not mention anything but just smiled at her and told her its all history....But actually, she should understand about post delivery...Its not easy on my part too....The feeling is like roller coaster..You just got to go thru so many series of cardiac arrest when my little one was in hospital...One issue after another...Luckily today, she is a healthy girl...Seeing her growing up everyday is a happy process for me....
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My PILs like to drop by unannounced too. Not only on weekends but on weekday evenings as well. There were times when I had to run into the room to get decent b4 greeting them but that also resulted in some snide remarks from MIL saying why I not happy that they are there issit, that’s why I never greet them at the door. Alamak, meet you and your husband at the door with my headlights shining issit.
Sometimes FIL will call saying they coming over in the afternoon. So we stay home instead of going out. But they never turn up and if we call they will say yah coming soon coming soon. Then by evening still not here, we call again and they will say not coming oredi, and push the blame to either party.
I don’t mind them wanting to come over but not like that lah. If you say you wanna come then make sure you turn up. And don’t come unannounced and then if we not home they will call DH and say things like haiyah wasted trip, or where are you nearby or not, expecting us to rush home or wanting to meet us wherever we are. -
I guess it’s also fated whether your MIL likes you or not. I’m a uni graduate, can cook and do housework, and now even sacrifice my career to be a SAHM, yet MIL still not satisfied with me. The other DIL (whom she favours) cannot cook or do house chores and chose to go back to work after her delivery, MIL was very happy to look after her kids for her.
I now know that no matter what I did or did not do, she will never be satisfied with me. She will always have something to pick on me. I’ve learnt to accept this fate…and learn not to let her affect me too much. It’s not easy becos we meet at her place a few times a week for dinner (it’s her order), but I’m trying not to let her affect me so much emotionally. I just focus on loving DH and DD… -
hquek:
I was :x and pass it on my DH. Cannot control it. I still feel like slapping mil face when I saw her yesterday. I'm working in Tuas so there are no CCC ard/near my workplace. I can only sell my house 2 years later due to the HDB regulation. My mum has been taking care of my 2 nieces since year 2000 so she will prefer no more kids. If really no choice, she will still help....your own mother is still the best :love:
Hey Mrs Ang,
I would be mighty :x if I were you too. But then, since you know her pattern, AND your hubby is aware of her broken promises, best thing for you is to act :imanangel:. Worst thing is to vent out your unhappiness on your DH.
If your parents are available and willing to take care, then consider to move closer to them - else childcare is the next best option. If stars are in alignment, perhaps a childcare closer to your workplace?
Honestly, looking after children is no joke. But I don't think one (ie parents/IL) should 'sign blank cheque' on this matter also. I had also heard of new grandmas happily volunteering, only to 'da tui tang gu' when they realise how hard it is. -
mumma_bear:
I've been very lucky for having supportive ILs..I can even call them for advices if we have marital problems at times.
:congrats: mamabear! Happy for you!
I have learnt not to share our \"problems\" with my MIL. First time she asked with concern and I shared. After that found that she will not side me will side hubby. Or else I think she is \"laughing\" at me for not having it good. My MIL is very \"HOR MIA\", FIL loves and tolerates her, son loves her, tolerates her and cooks her fabulous mother's day dinner. She has such a blessed life she will not understand other people's problematic life. But I believe she genuinely cares for us when she ask us whether everything is OK? But I have learnt not to share, anything we resolve ourselves!
:celebrate:
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