In-law problems?

[loner]

So much that we complain abt MIL. Have u gals ever thought what kind of MIL u will be??? On one hand, I tell myself I will never ever treat my DIL the way MIL treated me but very scared one day ended up \"like\" her leh.....

[hquek]

loner:

So much that we complain abt MIL. Have u gals ever thought what kind of MIL u will be??? On one hand, I tell myself I will never ever treat my DIL the way MIL treated me but very scared one day ended up \"like\" her leh.....

My MIL is pretty ok - except that she's super hands off about the kids. Ask her to help us watch over while we run some errands in the evening, I'll typically return to find her sleeping in front of the tv (guess if the kids didn't kill each other, it's fine).

Told myself that I'll be the type of grandma who drives her grandkids around and help out in the enrichment classes and all (afterall, dunwan to waste the ksp experience). Then again, probably will have its own set of problems. End of the day, I will have to find my own retirement space. hee hee hee

[janet88]

I will try my best NOT to treat my daughter-in-law the way I am treated.

It’s natural that women will be closer to their 娘家…so I won’t expect her to be close to me…but I will have to remind myself to be cordial. This way, the relationship can last on a sweet note.

I’m coaching my kids in their studies as much as I can…until they graduate to secondary school, I’ll be hands-off. Education is tough as it is now. I wouldn’t dare to think of coaching my grandchildren.

[hquek]

oh no…I’m not even dreaming to coach my kids (nor grandkids). Just thinking that i can be their ‘ahmad’ to ferry them around so the parents can go to work with peace of mind.

[janet88]

hquek:

oh no...I'm not even dreaming to coach my kids (nor grandkids). Just thinking that i can be their 'ahmad' to ferry them around so the parents can go to work with peace of mind.

For my kids, I am the so-called coach. But wouldnt dream of doing that for grandkids. 'Ahmad' should be my hubby.

[kiasume]

DesertWind:

Hi kiasume,


This sounds like my mother and my MIL - with regards to helping me look after my 3 yo son! My mother concentrates on my brother's 2 kids - 1 girl & 1 boy. Even though my brother does not give her much money and always makes her angry (SIL also not much better), my mother still put her whole heart into looking after them. They were staying together for few years.

For me, my MIL helped us to keep an eye on my boy for about 2 years. A few times I wanted to \"park\" my son with my mother but she will say something like - no lah, I dunno how to communicate with your maid. Or she will say my hubby does not like etc... I was quite :x . Because I support both my parents financially and I thought mum should at least \"return\" my favour at least once in a while!

My MIL when any of us fall sick will cook chicken soup and visit us. Also call and enquire about our health.

Perhaps it really has something to do with the SURNAME. Because to my mother, brother's kids is \"Nei Suen\". Mine is \"Wai Suen\".

Anyway, if I were to \"count the debts\", there will be no end.

So yes, thank god we have MIL to help us!
:celebrate:

So sad right to have your own \"mother\" treating their own daughter like that. Because my own mother is as such, it is very difficult for me to ever think she is a good mother. I just her wish her luck when her judgement day come.

Now I just concerntrate on my own family. As for my dear MIL, I will treat her even better coz she treats me nice. :snuggles: She deserves it.

[kiasume]

loner:

So much that we complain abt MIL. Have u gals ever thought what kind of MIL u will be??? On one hand, I tell myself I will never ever treat my DIL the way MIL treated me but very scared one day ended up \"like\" her leh.....

No way will I let myself behaves as such. I always believe in this philosophy \"If you do not want others to treat you like that, then you don't do the same to others\".

I rather earn a daughter than to loose my son totally.

[LOLMum]

hquek:

Ask her to help us watch over while we run some errands in the evening, I'll typically return to find her sleeping in front of the tv (guess if the kids didn't kill each other, it's fine).

it is very common for old folks to fall asleep whenever they are sitting down be it readinf a book, watching tv shows etc.

it's not their fault, it is just the work of the body.

off topic, haha, i remember my nephew who was always asked to face the wall when he was younger. he developed this technique of falling asleep within seconds and it was so funny watvhing him standing and nodding off and of course we didnt tell his dad till much later. :lol:

[janet88]

I always believe that if one wants respect, that person earns it. I would definitely treat any girlfriend my son brings home in a friendly manner (the first time I see her) regardless of whether they get married or not. First impression counts.


For a MIL who has 2 sons, wouldn’t it be nice if she treats her daughter-in-law as a daughter and earn 1 daughter on top of having 2 sons ?

[hquek]

LOLMum:

hquek:

Ask her to help us watch over while we run some errands in the evening, I'll typically return to find her sleeping in front of the tv (guess if the kids didn't kill each other, it's fine).

it is very common for old folks to fall asleep whenever they are sitting down be it readinf a book, watching tv shows etc.

Understand. But she was supposed to be the only adult in the house watching over my kids. And that time, DS2 was much younger. Anyway, I AM grateful that she's even willing to help out on those occasions - just that I try to limit my requests.