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    In-law problems?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • B Offline
      baglady
      last edited by

      janet_lee88:

      I know it's a little off topic, but don't wait till child starts primary school to get him serious where school work is concerned. It sounds like P1 is like an extension of kindergarten but it isn't. P1 is start of building foundation.
      Agree, should start with the right values from young and get kids interested in learning. I also think it's important to help them learn some discipline and self control from young. If they're spoilt by grandparents, then they will just do whatever they want!

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      • J Offline
        janet88
        last edited by

        If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen…always saying ‘Aiyah, only P1. What’s the big deal?’ Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.

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        • B Offline
          baglady
          last edited by

          janet_lee88:
          If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen...always saying 'Aiyah, only P1. What's the big deal?' Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.

          Yeah even as babies, they know who they can bully!

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          • J Offline
            janet88
            last edited by

            baglady:
            janet_lee88:

            If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen...always saying 'Aiyah, only P1. What's the big deal?' Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.


            Yeah even as babies, they know who they can bully!

            Oh yes, of course. If carried whole day, then parents will have hard time at home with the bb.

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            • M Offline
              Mum Lim
              last edited by

              How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?

              NOT PILS making the CALL....
              😢 😢 Its difficult to do so...
              Hopefully a miracle will appear soon 🙏

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              • J Offline
                janet88
                last edited by

                Mum Lim:
                How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?

                NOT PILS making the CALL....
                😢 😢 Its difficult to do so...
                Hopefully a miracle will appear soon 🙏
                Rather hard for wives to get this point across to them...rather sensitive. Get the husbands to tell. Someone has to do the dirty job for the sake of children's future.

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                • M Offline
                  Mum Lim
                  last edited by

                  Why cant dil tell pils straight? Why mothers and daughters can say anything and the next day all angry words will be forgotten??

                  Till now it's Like fighting a losing war... 😢

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                  • L Offline
                    LOLMum
                    last edited by

                    Mum Lim:
                    Why cant dil tell pils straight? Why mothers and daughters can say anything and the next day all angry words will be forgotten??

                    Till now it's Like fighting a losing war... 😢

                    not all mum and daughter are like that. even if all is forgotten and forgiven, words still hurt.

                    because pils are not the dil's parents. no matter how much pils love the dil, even if their own son is the monster in the marriage, they will still be on his side especially when it comes to $$$, child custody etc. blood is thicker than water.

                    you are not fighting a losing war just a long long endles war till one party drops dead. (sorry for sounding so ..................).

                    dont lose heart.

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                    • J Offline
                      janet88
                      last edited by

                      LOLMum:
                      Mum Lim:

                      Why cant dil tell pils straight? Why mothers and daughters can say anything and the next day all angry words will be forgotten??

                      Till now it's Like fighting a losing war... 😢

                      because pils are not the dil's parents. no matter how much pils love the dil, even if their own son is the monster in the marriage, they will still be on his side especially when it comes to $$$, child custody etc. blood is thicker than water.

                      you are not fighting a losing war just a long long endles war till one party drops dead. (sorry for sounding so ..................).

                      PILs are not the DIL's biological parents...so they won't side with her. This proverb about blood thicker than water is very true. When it comes to sensitive issues esp, they will ALWAYS side the son.
                      Donkey years back, I was told to continue working after getting married so that HER son won't be suffering from having to support the family :x

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                      • DesertWindD Offline
                        DesertWind
                        last edited by

                        Mum Lim:
                        How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?

                        NOT PILS making the CALL....
                        😢 😢 Its difficult to do so...
                        Hopefully a miracle will appear soon 🙏
                        Hi Mum Lim,

                        Although you did not elaborate on what sort of decisions your PILs decide for your kids, sounds serious if you feel so helpless.

                        It is time to be more firm yourself if you feel very strongly about it. For eg. if it is about schools, parents register their kids themself right? So you just go ahead to register at the school of your choice lah, not your PILs!

                        Not sure what other decision you are talking about. If you can share perhaps we can give our opinion.

                        No matter what you have to be very polite with PILs but if it is very crucial I won't hesitate to \"tell them off\" because sometimes hard to control my emotions.

                        😉

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