In-law problems?
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janet_lee88:
Agree, should start with the right values from young and get kids interested in learning. I also think it's important to help them learn some discipline and self control from young. If they're spoilt by grandparents, then they will just do whatever they want!
I know it's a little off topic, but don't wait till child starts primary school to get him serious where school work is concerned. It sounds like P1 is like an extension of kindergarten but it isn't. P1 is start of building foundation. -
If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen…always saying ‘Aiyah, only P1. What’s the big deal?’ Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.
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janet_lee88:
If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen...always saying 'Aiyah, only P1. What's the big deal?' Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.
Yeah even as babies, they know who they can bully! -
baglady:
Oh yes, of course. If carried whole day, then parents will have hard time at home with the bb.janet_lee88:
If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen...always saying 'Aiyah, only P1. What's the big deal?' Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.
Yeah even as babies, they know who they can bully! -
How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?
NOT PILS making the CALL....
Its difficult to do so...
Hopefully a miracle will appear soon
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Mum Lim:
Rather hard for wives to get this point across to them...rather sensitive. Get the husbands to tell. Someone has to do the dirty job for the sake of children's future.How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?
NOT PILS making the CALL....
Its difficult to do so...
Hopefully a miracle will appear soon -
Why cant dil tell pils straight? Why mothers and daughters can say anything and the next day all angry words will be forgotten??
Till now it's Like fighting a losing war... -
Mum Lim:
Why cant dil tell pils straight? Why mothers and daughters can say anything and the next day all angry words will be forgotten??
Till now it's Like fighting a losing war...
not all mum and daughter are like that. even if all is forgotten and forgiven, words still hurt.
because pils are not the dil's parents. no matter how much pils love the dil, even if their own son is the monster in the marriage, they will still be on his side especially when it comes to $$$, child custody etc. blood is thicker than water.
you are not fighting a losing war just a long long endles war till one party drops dead. (sorry for sounding so ..................).
dont lose heart. -
LOLMum:
PILs are not the DIL's biological parents...so they won't side with her. This proverb about blood thicker than water is very true. When it comes to sensitive issues esp, they will ALWAYS side the son.
because pils are not the dil's parents. no matter how much pils love the dil, even if their own son is the monster in the marriage, they will still be on his side especially when it comes to $$$, child custody etc. blood is thicker than water.Mum Lim:
Why cant dil tell pils straight? Why mothers and daughters can say anything and the next day all angry words will be forgotten??
Till now it's Like fighting a losing war...
you are not fighting a losing war just a long long endles war till one party drops dead. (sorry for sounding so ..................).
Donkey years back, I was told to continue working after getting married so that HER son won't be suffering from having to support the family :x -
Mum Lim:
Hi Mum Lim,How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?
NOT PILS making the CALL....
Its difficult to do so...
Hopefully a miracle will appear soon
Although you did not elaborate on what sort of decisions your PILs decide for your kids, sounds serious if you feel so helpless.
It is time to be more firm yourself if you feel very strongly about it. For eg. if it is about schools, parents register their kids themself right? So you just go ahead to register at the school of your choice lah, not your PILs!
Not sure what other decision you are talking about. If you can share perhaps we can give our opinion.
No matter what you have to be very polite with PILs but if it is very crucial I won't hesitate to \"tell them off\" because sometimes hard to control my emotions.
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