In-law problems?
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i agree that money issues are very sensitive, that’s my hb didnt raise the issue to his mum until now… Actually we increased $300 to MIL when she start to take care of DS. But with 2 children, we find the expenses increasing…MIL wanted a maid to take care of DS and DD, but the total expenses for maid + $900 for MIL + DS’s CC expenses is already around half of hb’s pay, how to afford? Sigh…
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vivienpg:
i agree that money issues are very sensitive, that's my hb didnt raise the issue to his mum until now.. Actually we increased $300 to MIL when she start to take care of DS. But with 2 children, we find the expenses increasing..MIL wanted a maid to take care of DS and DD, but the total expenses for maid + $900 for MIL + DS's CC expenses is already around half of hb's pay, how to afford? Sigh..
Money issues very sensitive, esp in my hubby's family...all she knows is S-11...to her, no family is closer than that. -
it is very difficult to cut the $$$ given to the parents and ils.
get hubby to talk to mil.
good luck. -
vivienpg,
Maybe you can consider hiring a full time maid instead, and cut down on ILs allowance...since you DS in full day CC and not that you are happy with the way MIL is doing things. Your mum can pop by to assist the maid with you younger DD then...
Juz my thoughts.. -
LOLMum:
wife told me to give extra 'bonus' to my mom during CNY coz she's been taking good care of our kids and us (dinner)it is very difficult to cut the $$$ given to the parents and ils.
get hubby to talk to mil.
good luck.
!! u guys envous, right??!!
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Nebbermind:
wife told me to give extra 'bonus' to my mom during CNY coz she's been taking good care of our kids and us (dinner)LOLMum:
it is very difficult to cut the $$$ given to the parents and ils.
get hubby to talk to mil.
good luck. !! u guys envous, right??!!
hah, great minds think alike. :celebrate:
been doing that since i got married and mil doesnt even live with us or take care of kids and i always tell dh to increase her allowance everytime his paycheck gets bigger.
your sweet wife is helping you to 积福. luv her more okay. :lol: :lol: -
Nebbermind:
You lucky MAN. I think many women would like to have your mum as MIL.
wife told me to give extra 'bonus' to my mom during CNY coz she's been taking good care of our kids and us (dinner)LOLMum:
it is very difficult to cut the $$$ given to the parents and ils.
get hubby to talk to mil.
good luck. !! u guys envous, right??!! -
Hi,
Need some advice here. My fil is very ill now so my mil suggest to my hubby send him over to our house and let me take care of him. Reasons given:-
1) I’m sahp, free to bring him to hospital every now and then. Everybody
don’t need to apply leaves which I think she is more concern for my sil
might affect her career.
2) She got no time to care for my fil cos she has to take care of my sil’s
children eventhough my sil provide her a maid for her.
She always stress that my hubby is the eldest son so he have to handle all the family’s problems, sil is married off so must not bothered her . She very biased, refuse to help me take care of my ds so I have to quit my job to be sahp. Now with this problem , why can’t my sil take care of her parents since she is doing very well and have no ILs just because my hubby is the eldest son.
I would like to reject her but don’t know how to put it in a nice way.
Note hubby is very close and filial to the mil and I also don’t want to put him in a difficult position.<img src=""> -
chinchin:
My fil is very ill now so my mil suggest to my hubby send him over to our house and let me take care of him.
How ill? Is he still mobile? What is the kind of medical care required? What is expected of you? Are you gonna be the only caregiver or will you be getting a helper? How old is your child? Can you handle the elder and the young together?
[quote] I'm sahp, free to bring him to hospital every now and then. Everybody don't need to apply leaves which I think she is more concern for my sil might affect her career. She got no time to care for my fil cos she has to take care of my sil's children eventhough my sil provide her a maid for her.[/quote]Unless you can do it and willing, I think it's better to have all the children play a part in bringing the dad to hospital.
[quote] She always stress that my hubby is the eldest son so he have to handle all the family's problems, sil is married off so must not bothered her . She very biased, refuse to help me take care of my ds so I have to quit my job to be sahp. Now with this problem , why can't my sil take care of her parents since she is doing very well and have no ILs just because my hubby is the eldest son.
Note hubby is very close and filial to the mil and I also don't want to put him in a difficult position[/quote]There will always be this issue. Even if you agree now, I think the 'resentment' will built up, so need to handle carefully.
I dun wish to give the wrong value, but having similar experience, I kinda find a lot of unfairness and end up getting calculative sometimes....simply cannot help it. I'll try to keep my story short.
My hubby also eldest and I quit to take care my 2 kids (not that MIL won't take care, but she has problem with every maid and I couldn't stand it anymore. Imagine after work getting earful from MIL then go home maid also earful and cry and cry). PIL has own house but always quarrel. DH filial, wanted to take care plus FIL seems weak after bypass. (of course lah, drink and smoke even after bypass), he claimed FIL will go soon...probably 1-2 years. I pity him, agreed and PIL came over. Life turned to hell....both are not easy.....and just becos' I'm SAHM, I was viewed to have a good life by the rest. The mental stress, the physical drain.....I couldn't take it. Frankly, I quit for my kids.....but in the end, I couldn't cope. End up, I left kids to study themselves cos' too tired (but fortunately, both independent and still do ok). However, one consolation was the siblings were auto enough. Initially DH was the one bringing them to checkup, errands etc....eventually, it took a toll on DH and i started complaining to the siblings. So the rest now take turn. But still, there are always other things which I feel can be better spread-out amongst the siblings. So, for a period, I was turning depressed, but lucky DH detected and took some action and began to be more supportive .... and I have a part-time helper recently which helped to make things a lot better now. FIL...sigh....he's been nursed back to health, so still a long wait
IF you agree to it, it will not be easy esp. if there's no helper. Think through and discuss with hubby. -
cwc:
Really must think through these.chinchin:
My fil is very ill now so my mil suggest to my hubby send him over to our house and let me take care of him.
How ill? Is he still mobile? What is the kind of medical care required? What is expected of you? Are you gonna be the only caregiver or will you be getting a helper? How old is your child? Can you handle the elder and the young together?
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