In-law problems?
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Hi mummyjune, your mil takes care of so many young kids? You must be careful she doesn’t brainwash your son that only the grandma loves him, that’s why grandma taking care of him. Heard of old people who do that, tell the grandchildren that the parents don’t love the kids, that’s why grandma got to look after them.
Old people think they are so experienced and wise and more qualified to look after young children, that’s why they are always criticising us. Sigh… what to do? -
sall:
sometimes i do worry she will brainwash my kids, especially my son, i can c she dote on him alot. but wat to do, we need to work, ve to leave him in her care. sign...i can only hope that she dun talk rubbish/badmouth abt me to my son...Hi mummyjune, your mil takes care of so many young kids? You must be careful she doesn't brainwash your son that only the grandma loves him, that's why grandma taking care of him. Heard of old people who do that, tell the grandchildren that the parents don't love the kids, that's why grandma got to look after them.
Old people think they are so experienced and wise and more qualified to look after young children, that's why they are always criticising us. Sigh... what to do? -
ectanz:
It's good for PIL to stay near if they r those harmonious type but otherwise NO, NO!! As for mine, my MIL has to take a bus journey only abt 15 mins but at least luckily she doesnt drive. :evil:
I wish I can. Previously, they r staying in west n in order not to stay too near to them, I purposely instigated my hb to apply new flat at north east. But hor, they sell their flat n moved to east, juz 15 mins drive. Sian men! -
kids_r_innocent:
If they are the harmonious type, then all the children & their spouses will be grabbing them.
It's good for PIL to stay near if they r those harmonious type but otherwise NO, NO!! As for mine, my MIL has to take a bus journey only abt 15 mins but at least luckily she doesnt drive. :evil:ectanz:
I wish I can. Previously, they r staying in west n in order not to stay too near to them, I purposely instigated my hb to apply new flat at north east. But hor, they sell their flat n moved to east, juz 15 mins drive. Sian men!
Mine here is the type who WANTS to be driven around by the sons...'don't know' how to go anywhere...good lah, don't know how to go, then don't go. This way, I won't be surprised by her visits. -
mummyJune:
i really cannot tahan my mil.everyday i go her house she sure got something to comment on either my son or my daughter. so irritating. as though implying i never take care of them properly. not only my mil, sometimes my own mother oso will make nasty comments. own mother i still can talk back & argue, mil how to argue? later she complain to ppl i so rude.worst! tats y sometimes i dun even wan to open my mouth & talk to her. yesterday i saw her 4yr old grandaughter feed my son dragon fruit. duno how to feed pls dun feed la, my mil still say she so clever. clever my head! she feed my son until his clothes so dirty! sometimes this 4YO grandaughter will snatch to sleep Yaolan with my daughter :whut: . pls la, my daughter is only 5mths old, she 4yrs old liao still sleep wat yaolan? i tel my hubby, this is how yr mum take care...he also shake head. :slapshead:[/quote]mine was the same situation as you when my dd1 was taken care by my MIL. She will comment everything I did I.e the feeding method, etc n complained to me my dd1 too active lah until she buay tahan. All these nonsenses I could endure but her only action really pissed me off was tat she liked to accuse me of starving my dd1 whenever my dd1's weight was slightly dropped. She liked to weigh my dd1 on every Monday when my dd1 was taken care by me on weekend. At tat moment, I really wanted to retort the remark she made but managed to hold back my anger.sall:
[quote=\"mummyJune\"]& when my mil carry my boy, she saw my son staring at me & said in a frightened tone \"Y is he staring at u like tat? as though u look so scary!\" the worst thing is she can carry on telling my boy how scary i look which is NOT TRUE.
I think your mil is trying to imply that you are not treating your boy well and you frightened him, that's why he's crying. What a drama queen she is! Pretending to talking in a frightened tone. :roll:
I can understand how piss-off you feel. My mum is also like that. Whenever my girl cried when she's a toddler, my mum will accuse me of ill-treating my girl.
Afraid tat she wont take care of my dd1 if my retort made her angry.
I hv endured this kind of accusation for abt 4 yrs until I resigned fr my current job n take care the kids myself. -
kids_r_innocent:
Agreed. If they don't meddle in our affairs, I am okay even they r staying next door. However, my MIL will comment everything whenever she came to my place.
It's good for PIL to stay near if they r those harmonious type but otherwise NO, NO!! As for mine, my MIL has to take a bus journey only abt 15 mins but at least luckily she doesnt drive. :evil:ectanz:
I wish I can. Previously, they r staying in west n in order not to stay too near to them, I purposely instigated my hb to apply new flat at north east. But hor, they sell their flat n moved to east, juz 15 mins drive. Sian men! -
My friends used to ask me a question n till now no answer from me yet. Maybe I don’t hv courage to face reality…
Question - wat will u do if yr PIL is getting old n need u to take care of them? -
wa, seems like we ve the same type of mil. mine every monday sure got comment on my kids especially my son. shes always asking me why he so skinny, never eat ar? or why got rashes? U NEVER TAKE CARE PROPERLY ? she's always Y like Y tat, making me so fedup early in the morning. so now, i juz drop my kids at her place den i go off, let her go & question my hubby. best part is she love to say\"i carry him i know he never eat cos he feels so light\"... :rant:
i really cant stand it wen she says i never take care properly. she wants to sound like im a bad/lously mum. for example, now on wkends i feed my son rice instead of porriage. mil insist he should eat porriage cos rice so hard & cannot digest. haiz...i really dun wan to argue with her. i tel my hubby, when its my turn to take care on wkends, pls tel yr mother dun interfer can or not?! -
mummyJune:
Ya, I used to tell the same thing to my hb but my hb will juz say tat this is becos her mum doted on our dd1 n asked me not to bother wat she said....I really feel likewa, seems like we ve the same type of mil. mine every monday sure got comment on my kids especially my son. shes always asking me why he so skinny, never eat ar? or why got rashes? U NEVER TAKE CARE PROPERLY ? she's always Y like Y tat, making me so fedup early in the morning. so now, i juz drop my kids at her place den i go off, let her go & question my hubby. best part is she love to say\"i carry him i know he never eat cos he feels so light\"... :rant:
i really cant stand it wen she says i never take care properly. she wants to sound like im a bad/lously mum. for example, now on wkends i feed my son rice instead of porriage. mil insist he should eat porriage cos rice so hard & cannot digest. haiz...i really dun wan to argue with her. i tel my hubby, when its my turn to take care on wkends, pls tel yr mother dun interfer can or not?!
n :mad:
My hb dare not to retort her mum. Her mum is typical \"dowager\" at hm. -
why don’t u all try putting yr boy or girl in childcare centre? Mayb this can reduce the conflicts. And I think childcare centre can instill better values than w mil. Perhaps this is a better solutions for both. Children can learn and have friends playing with. They are more independent. They are taught how and why, please and cannot, etc. After school, fetch them home directly. No need to face mil after a day’s hardwork. Do you think so?
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