In-law problems?

[janet88]

ectanz:

coolit:

True true..the moment I go near my MIL, she will start complaining and will tell

bad stuff about my SILs but it makes me wonder what she says behind my back
because it cannot be that she finds so many things that are wrong with them and
not me. She is just a negative person in general.

Do u stay with yr il?

It's exactly the same with hubby's mother too.
I dare not sit in the kitchen...bcos she will start her nonsense and I just hate it when she says bad stuff behind SIL backs...I do not want to participate bcos I know she is the trouble maker.
I will sit in the hall and pretend to watch TV so as to stay away from trouble.

[ectanz]

coolit:

I used to stay with them. We moved out 2 years ago. stayed with them for 3 years.

It was 3 years of frustration! Do you stay with yours?

Nope. But she will call my place every 7.30pm sharp to check whether my dd1 n hb have their dinner or not. Very irritating.

We don't usually eat out, therefore I will rush home to cook dinner after work n fetching my kids aroung 7pm. Imagine I need to cook before 7.30pm in order to let my dh n dd1 to hv their dinner before 7.30pm if not she will nag n nag over the phone to complain to my hb.

Sometime she will juz drop by my place without any prior notice around dinner time. She will comment why didn't hv any soup or hb's favourite dishes.

[coolit]

janet_lee88:

It's exactly the same with hubby's mother too.
I dare not sit in the kitchen...bcos she will start her nonsense and I just hate it when she says bad stuff behind SIL backs...I do not want to participate bcos I know she is the trouble maker.
I will sit in the hall and pretend to watch TV so as to stay away from trouble.

I also act blur or act busy. Very tiring to 'run' from her like that. No wonder
my hubby shuts down when I put on my complaining tone. I think its all
those years of listening to her.

[coolit]

ectanz:

Nope. But she will call my place every 7.30pm sharp to check whether my dd1 n hb have their dinner or not. Very irritating.

We don't usually eat out, therefore I will rush home to cook dinner after work n fetching my kids aroung 7pm. Imagine I need to cook before 7.30pm in order to let my dh n dd1 to hv their dinner before 7.30pm if not she will nag n nag over the phone to complain to my hb.

Sometime she will juz drop by my place without any prior notice around dinner time. She will comment why didn't hv any soup or hb's favourite dishes.

That sounds scary. Does she stay nearby? Good if you can move far far away.
We moved as far as we could from her. But cannot run away from phone
calls.

I hate it when she calls and tries to dig information from my helper on what I have been doing or how my kids are doing. She says she is concerned but I think it is just ammunition for her.

[janet88]

coolit:

janet_lee88:

It's exactly the same with hubby's mother too.
I dare not sit in the kitchen...bcos she will start her nonsense and I just hate it when she says bad stuff behind SIL backs...I do not want to participate bcos I know she is the trouble maker.
I will sit in the hall and pretend to watch TV so as to stay away from trouble.

I also act blur or act busy. Very tiring to 'run' from her like that. No wonder
my hubby shuts down when I put on my complaining tone. I think its all
those years of listening to her.

Hey, my hubby is also like that...no wonder he can tolerate his mother. He literally shuts down. I am not a person who likes to watch TV, but I pretend to be engrossed in the TV program so as to escape from her '你听我说' sessions.

[janet88]

coolit:

ectanz:

Sometime she will juz drop by my place without any prior notice around dinner time. She will comment why didn't hv any soup or hb's favourite dishes.

I hate it when she calls and tries to dig information from my helper on what I have been doing or how my kids are doing. She says she is concerned but I think it is just ammunition for her.

She used to dig info from my maids too...even though there is nothing embarrassing but it's still MY family and I want to keep it within my household. Told my maid other than replying questions regarding her name and age, just say 'I don't know'.

[coolit]

Hi janet_lee88,


Wish my husband can be less shut down too but when I look at his mum, I shake my
head and try to understand. His dad also shuts down and is super quiet.

true, now besides teaching my maid how to cook and do housework, must teach
her how to fend off MIL’s probing.

[janet88]

coolit:

Hi janet_lee88,


true, now besides teaching my maid how to cook and do housework, must teach her how to fend off MIL's probing.

I told my maid to tell her 'I don't know' when she asked her questions...other than replying name, age and where she comes from, the rest tell her 'mam doesn't like me to talk too much'.

[chocolatebar]

I think no matter how nice is ur mother-in-law (normally is mother-in-law lar) it is still very awkard to stay tgt. For my ex bf, I went to his house and his mom actually is very nice but u know,erm, just awkard. After dinner, I don't know should I wash the dishes or not (in fact I normally ll at least wash my one).If I wash dishes I seem like a maid or maybe his mom wont like someone else to touch her kitchen, I dont know... if I dont do anything then I ll feel embarassing is like 白吃白住...and his mom actually wash the dishes very late like mid 12 or 1 o'clock... Dear mommies here, do you mind that someone else help u to wash all the dishes up? or just leave it? I have too many considerations~ :roll:

[sall]

chocolatebar:

I think no matter how nice is ur mother-in-law (normally is mother-in-law lar) it is still very awkard to stay tgt. For my ex bf, I went to his house and his mom actually is very nice but u know,erm, just awkard. After dinner, I don't know should I wash the dishes or not (in fact I normally ll at least wash my one).If I wash dishes I seem like a maid or maybe his mom wont like someone else to touch her kitchen, I dont know... if I dont do anything then I ll feel embarassing is like 白吃白住...and his mom actually wash the dishes very late like mid 12 or 1 o'clock... Dear mommies here, do you mind that someone else help u to wash all the dishes up? or just leave it? I have too many considerations~ :roll:

You don't have to feel embarassed, some old people are extremely fussy, if you help with the dishes or housework, they may feel that it's not clean enough and will redo it. For others, they will take you like a maid and then, you'll have to do the dishes and housework forever. My mom is very fussy, when I help her to do some housework, she'll redo it. I was furious when I saw that, :mad: so now I don't help her at all.