In-law problems?

[peapot]

Not true leh. My guy friends are very scared of their wives. They tell their mother off when their wives are unhappy. So I always thought MIL are the victims.

[sall]

peapot:

Not true leh. My guy friends are very scared of their wives. They tell their mother off when their wives are unhappy. So I always thought MIL are the victims.

Then those wives are really very very lucky. But I always come across wives whose dh is always on the old women's side.

[janet88]

sall:

peapot:

Not true leh. My guy friends are very scared of their wives. They tell their mother off when their wives are unhappy. So I always thought MIL are the victims.

Then those wives are really very very lucky. But I always come across wives whose dh is always on the old women's side.

Those women whose husbands are on their side are really lucky...very, very, very lucky. I'm not expecting mine to tell his mother off, but to know that she has 2 faces - 'angelic' and having horns...that she is capable of creating trouble.

[Linlin]

I used to think that if you love someone you will accept everything of him. But in law… I think to me the toughest to handling both fil and mil. Especially when you are the only dil. I’m not a happy mum, I never had good support when I’m preg. No one welcomes my babies and my mil don’t want me to get preg soon after our wed cos she haven’t enjoy enough of her freedom. Whenever I see mil and fil, I will feel stress and upset. DH is one of the reason that worsen my relationship with them coz he will complain about me at my back like I quarrel with him. (My in laws dotes him a lot so if I quarrel with him even though is his fault they will still blame me)

[The Simz]

First post in this thread.


I’m upset with my in-laws too. To a point that I’m really stressed out by them. They are very traditional that thinks dil should serve e in-laws and husband. Mil will asked me to take my own soup from the kitchen while she serve everyone. My hub is the only son so I’m the only dil, with no one to compare whether if its bcos they don’t like me or they think dil should be a status different from the household.

I’m not staying in sg, so had to make a trip back when my grandma passed on. My inlaws came to the funeral announcing to everyone that they are here to see the grandson. Stand infront of the alter, played with my son while my aunt was waiting for them to hold the joss stick offered to them. It took them 5 mins to realized that everyone was watching them, then they start to pay their respect to my grandma. They came subsequent nights, and NEVER pay their respect to my grandma anymore. They came just to bring my son for a walk. So nobody really know their existence. Come the last day of funeral, the whole family invited me to celebrate my fil’s birthday. I don’t know if I’m over reacting or they are simply too insensitive. A celebration right after a funeral? How ironic. Few days later then my mil told me I’m a married woman, shouldn’t be too bothered about my family side matters.

The above story is just one of the many incidents. Now I’m returning home for good, but hub will return only at the end of the yr. Fil insist that I stayed at their house while I get someone to clean up my own house. Already told them about my plan staying put at my mum’s place but he still insist. Help!! I really don’t wish to see them without my hub. Any idea how can I avoid them without hurting them.

[auntieM]

Hi Simz,

Not only your ILs are selfish… …there are meaner ones out there…
My SIL passed on couple of months back and my IL just celebrated his birthday today, buffet and all…In fact, a week after my SIL died, my MIL asked us to celebrate nephew’s birthday. Do you celebrate your birthday barely after your parent passed on?
Old people celebrate only big birthdays when their offspring and grandkids are doing well… otherwise they should not celebrate so as to save some good luck for their younger generations… …Wonder if any other KSP parents heard of this … …

[smurf28]

Angelight:

Wah, next yr's CNY so early?? Am planning to get away for holiday. Every year CNY gotta stay in Spore and go thru the same old boring routine...

auntieM:

CNY 2012 should fall on 23rd Jan 2012..

Hi,Chinese New Year is on 23 Feb 2012,Monday

[janet88]

auntieM:

In fact, a week after my SIL died, my MIL asked us to celebrate nephew's birthday. Do you celebrate your birthday barely after your parent passed on?

Old people celebrate only big birthdays when their offspring and grandkids are doing well.. otherwise they should not celebrate so as to save some good luck for their younger generations.. ..Wonder if any other KSP parents heard of this .. ..

Why are the old so insensitive ? The poor boy must still be very sad, how could the grandmother be so mean ?

[janet88]

The Simz:

Few days later then my mil told me I'm a married woman, shouldn't be too bothered about my family side matters.


The above story is just one of the many incidents. Now I'm returning home for good, but hub will return only at the end of the yr. Fil insist that I stayed at their house while I get someone to clean up my own house. Already told them about my plan staying put at my mum's place but he still insist. Help!! I really don't wish to see them without my hub. Any idea how can I avoid them without hurting them.

Your in-laws came from 2 centuries ago...married woman should not care about 娘家.
As for staying with your parents, did you discuss this with your hubby ? Maybe he can help you out since his parents worship him.

I've heard of in-laws who worship the son like some saint...as he works till very late, his mother will cook when he comes back (about 9pm)...if hungry before he returns, they will eat something light. The poor wife had to munch on biscuits. By the time they are done with 'dinner', it's close to 10+.

[Funz]

I will celebrate the birthdays and all even after the death of someone close. Will not be a big affair but celebration all the same. I don't think we should deprive a celebration of an event of someone who is alive and in this world with us just because someone died. I tend to think, all the more we should have these small celebrations and treasure them. screwed view?


For Simz, not right for her ILs to not celebrate the FIL's birthday because of her Grandmother's death. And it is also not right for them to leave her out. So the decent thing is to ask her to join and leave her to decide. But saying her family should not matter that much after she is married is ridiculous. The ILs have daughters? Would they want their own daughters to be MIA in all their major events?