In-law problems?

[just888]

I stayed with my in-laws after marriage for 2 years before we got our own place. Despite having our own place, we didn’t shift our things out and still go back and stay with them on and off throughout the years so as not to give up our bedroom to my SIL. Sometimes whole weekdays if not weekends to prevent my in-laws being bullied by my SIL’s family. I do not have in-laws problem as they still treat me rather nice. My problem is only with my selfish SIL.


My SIL had been eyeing my hubby’s bedroom since we got our own place. She want to come back and stay with my in-laws too but then keep complaining her current room too small for her family (2A3C). Both she and her hubby loves to tax on my in-laws to help them. Even now not staying together, she wants my MIL in the evening to go over her place and help her with her 3 kids when they are all back at home then ask my FIL/hubby would go and fetch MIL after 10pm home when their kids are asleep. I ever ask my MIL, how come SIL does not let her sleep over instead? They did not even provide a mattress in their mansionette for my MIL! faint.

[Flowermonaster]

[list]

[just888]

Flowermonaster:

:yikes: Wow! She is really a selfish brat! Your MIL is worst than a maid. At least maid still got mattress to sleep & salary. Since they already at home why need your MIL there? 2 Adults cannot take care of 3 kids meh? Why must trouble ur IL? Some more, used already don't send her back, have the cheek to ask ur FIL/hubby to fetch! Really too much! Your PIL & hubby not angry meh? :?

Prescisely, I do not even think they gave my in-law's monthly $$ even though SUPER high earners. Hubby fetching my MIL is on his way home so that my FIL can save a trip on his bike at night. Afterall my FIL now going to 70 not young anymore. We think they are dangerous on the road alone.
My in-law always said if can help, help lor. But my MIL would try not go over if we are around as she knows I would not be happy about it. I ever ask MIL if SIL cannot cope why not get a maid to help? MIL told me that my SIL do not like outsider to stay with them. I very bad commented to my MIL if cannot cope then don't gave birth to so many lar.

Years back, my MIL told me when checking on medisave I brought for my parents how I pay for them. Told MIL via my CPF deduction lor. MIL told me SIL buys medisave for them and but ask my FIL to pay using his own CPF 1st. I was like huh? Like that I also can CLAIM to buy alot of things what without paying anything. Talking is FOC.

Another incident - When my hubby wants to send my son back to let my in-laws takecare when DS was young she objected violently claiming if we do so, my in-laws do not have freedom on mobility to go out. But then she can DUMP her kid DD1 there and she goes to work and weekend shopping. This was caught by our weekend surprise home visiting. This angered hubby and he SAW her colour then and told her off that she daughter can come back yet our DS cannot. Only then 1 week later she called \"shared\" with my hubby she is in her 4th mth pregnancy with DD2 then. From then on I can see that my hubby is not that close with my SIL.
Good for me also, like that hubby wouldn't get bullied by her! He has been bullied by her since young, even her writing of Thesis for her PhD also need hubby to review and correct. When hubby busy with his then sch work, she go and complained to my in-laws. I fedup and told hubby dunno who is elder and dunno who is receiving certs. (My SIL is the eldest among the 3kids)

[janet88]

Some parents seem to be fated to be bullied by their children…2 living examples here. These brats could turn out this way because of upbringing…no one’s fault but either the mother or father.


My hubby is very busy & moody because of work and has no mood to listen to the idiotic antics of his brother. Too bad lor if his money-loving mother chooses to be a maid. All the best to her…I cannot state the worse scenario - ie being thrown out of the house. Don’t cry buckets…it’s too late.

In the meantime, there will be a BIG war when my SIL returns from her holiday over that email.

[just888]

U SIL staying/travelling oversea? At least your SIL also got parent’s interest at heart.


I know as parents we would try to help out our kids at much as possible. But then how come some kids are really selfish and no EQ at all to spare a thought for the old ones at home. When comes to good times - travelling etc… short trip the family goes themselves. Only when long journey needs help then invite parents along to help out in the car with the kids during their drives on the road oversea.

My SIL’s hubby ever comment, if they do not mind staying with my in-laws and no need to buy a house if not his parent insisted that they should get one themselves! In my heart, of coz’ lar…all taken care at home with that $300 spend, why not.

[mummy of 2]

At least your DH has seen the true colours of your sil mine still thinking she will do the right thing ie pay market value for the flat she plans to buy from her parents. Just recently she turned up very late for dinner at my house. When asked why she said took train to my place instead of taxi to save money. PLEASE!!! If really want to save money just leave her house earlier no need to tell the whole world she needs to be thrifty. If this isn’t psychological warfare to win over her parents I don’t know what is.

[just888]

One more typicial scenario I saw last time, at 8pm at night during dinner:

SIL: I want to go home already, but have dinner here so I stayed on. Later father you send me home okay? I no need to take bus and can used the bus travelling time 1hr to 陪 you and mama.
FIL: Ok (usual answer to kid, unless he needs to busy at work)
Less than 1/2 hr later SIL’s hubby called asking what time coming back, SIL quickly hurried my FIL to send her back.

I was like huh to my hubby…Where is the "陪" part? Told my hubby if next time DS going to be "so 孝顺" please ask him take bus home himself. Save trouble to sending him back and then come back with an empty car on top of the petrol cost and time spend on driving.

[hquek]

mummy of 2:

At least your DH has seen the true colours of your sil mine still thinking she will do the right thing ie pay market value for the flat she plans to buy from her parents. Just recently she turned up very late for dinner at my house. When asked why she said took train to my place instead of taxi to save money. PLEASE!!! If really want to save money just leave her house earlier no need to tell the whole world she needs to be thrifty. If this isn't psychological warfare to win over her parents I don't know what is.

hmmm, she took train from JB arh. need to clear customs that's why so late? haizzz. hope your ILs don't fall for that 苦肉计, but then knowing parental love, I think the walls will crumble eventually.

[Flowermonaster]

just888:

One more typicial scenario I saw last time, at 8pm at night during dinner:

SIL: I want to go home already, but have dinner here so I stayed on. Later father you send me home okay? I no need to take bus and can used the bus travelling time 1hr to 陪 you and mama.
FIL: Ok (usual answer to kid, unless he needs to busy at work)
Less than 1/2 hr later SIL's hubby called asking what time coming back, SIL quickly hurried my FIL to send her back.

I was like huh to my hubby..Where is the \"陪\" part? Told my hubby if next time DS going to be \"so 孝顺\" please ask him take bus home himself. Save trouble to sending him back and then come back with an empty car on top of the petrol cost and time spend on driving.

Really speechless! This again show that she is really a spoilt brat! I always refuse my dad's offer to drive me home whenever I visit them because he is already 70+ & eye sight not so good. But they keep insisting so I only go visit them when my hubby is free & can fetch me home so they don't need to worry.
I am fortunate that I don't have much IL problem except my 2nd BIL never give my PIL monthly allowance except once during CNY. My PIL depends on my DH to support them every month. (my DH is the youngest) my SIL used to call my DH up (whenever my MIL borrow money from her) and asked my DH did he gives my MIL allowance this month? As my PIL live in Malaysia we only go in once a month to give her the allowance. I got irritated every time she called my DH on this matter because we alway give but we k only go during weekend and not possible to b always on last day of the month. Why she never ask her 2nd bro who live so near my PIL? They all live in the same area.

[mummy of 2]

Hquek


My mil already agreed even before her 苦肉计. I believe this wayang show is to wear down all resistance after DH told her to be fair to ils where the flat is concerned. My good- natured DH will never think that sil is still going to take unfair advantage of her parents even after he talked to her. I think more action is needed from me. Very unhappy and worst is cannot show it but have to bottle it up.