In-law problems?
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LOLMum:
In-laws will always side with their child (your spouse), regardless of how good a relationship you have with them.
My PILs don't even side with DH. They even sabo him to play politics at home!! -
fifiyeo:
Yes, mine too. PILs never once side my DH, worse they even side BIL rather my DH...thats why things fall so apart in that household.LOLMum:
In-laws will always side with their child (your spouse), regardless of how good a relationship you have with them.
My PILs don't even side with DH. They even sabo him to play politics at home!!
My PILs should attend parenting couselling course if theres any. They badly need it ........sigh...but it wont make any difference or mend any broken relationships already as irreversibe damage already been done. -
My son was born with cleft. They didn’t have anything nice to say. But what I do know is, it is not a punishment to my family…son doesn’ bear my surname. Thank goodness, his cleft has been repaired…my son doesn’t like his paternal grandmother for her fake concern. He squirms each time she approaches him. I didn’t say anything.
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Hi Janet
I feel that young children can sense if the concern shown is genuine or fake. On one occasion, one sil was trying to act friendly to my child. Imagine someone standing next to you, saying in a loud, fake, excited tone "give me a five!!" several times. I know she wanted to show we are on good terms to mil, who was watching. My young child was very uncomfortable with the attention and did not respond to her. He turned away to the other side and told me "I don’t like." -
Kids are not dumb. They are well aware of what’s happening. My PILs thinks that their grandchildren doesn’t know about our issues and can even say we should bring these all to the kids. Guess they want to appear like angels. Oh what silly thoughts! Best part, the kids had witnessed with their own eyes the violent quarrels and watched my PILs perform.
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carrotz:
Oh yes, kids today are definitely more intelligent and can feel if the concern shown is genuine or NOT. My 8 year old tells me paternal grandparents love to act :faint: She used to accompany hubby out on weekends to buy breakfast...he also gets breakfast for his parents. Now daughter refuses to go along.Hi Janet
I feel that young children can sense if the concern shown is genuine or fake. On one occasion, one sil was trying to act friendly to my child. Imagine someone standing next to you, saying in a loud, fake, excited tone \"give me a five!!\" several times. -
Yes, it’s all an act. I am not on talking terms with the sil due to what she did to jeopardise my r’ship with my hubs. Yet in front of mil and hubs, she’ll start acting. Mil pressurised my child to call the sil during that visit. So one was saying "hi fives!" while the other said in her usual loud, commanding tone, "Gu Gu! Gu Gu!" It looked ridiculous with the two of them acting like that.
We have never been close. It’s not that I don’t want to teach my child to address the elders but in this case, after all that has happened, forget it. I do, however, ask my child to address the pils. The last time we visited, mil did not acknowledge when my son called her nai nai(called her four times). Only did so at the fifth time and not very willingly. No, she is not hard of hearing. -
carrotz:
The last time we visited, mil did not acknowledge when my son called her nai nai(called her four times). Only did so at the fifth time and not very willingly. No, she is not hard of hearing.
Hey, same here.
She even asked my son several times...我是谁. My son replied her and she asked again...after few min, asked the same thing. What's this nonsense ? Told my son quietly...say, you are my daddy's mother. -
janet_lee: you are not alone! My MIL does that, too! Her sole purpose spending time with my son is to make sure he calls her \"nai-nai\". So, let's say in a 30mins playtime, it will be 20mins of gibberish talk between my son and her... and 10mins serious drilling and practising... nai nai. nai nai... It is soooo irritating!! :siao:
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straffan23:
janet_lee: you are not alone! My MIL does that, too! Her sole purpose spending time with my son is to make sure he calls her \"nai-nai\". So, let's say in a 30mins playtime, it will be 20mins of gibberish talk between my son and her... and 10mins serious drilling and practising... nai nai. nai nai... It is soooo irritating!! :siao:
Mine here has one purpose - to 'remind' son she is his paternal grandmother. For goodness sake, her approach made my son squirm.
Love and respect has to be earned...intensive drilling will only make the kids dislike them MORE. Even though I remind my kids to address them, they do so because I tell them to, reluctantly.
With my parents, they will run towards them and hug. Why? Bcos my mum cooks their fav food while my dad acts their referee when they fight...and comforts the loser.
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