In-law problems?
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Coolkidsrock2,
Why your DH needs to buy car for your BIL? Just curious. -
After seeing/hearing stories here, then I must be one of the lucky one here. My case with my PIL and SIL should consider nothing liao.
Then I must be grateful to have them especially my MIL as she helps to look after my 3 kids.
I think our DH also plays impt part. They must know the characters of their parents and must not be mummy’s boy, everything listen to mummy type. If my hubby is this type, I will not even want to marry to him.
My hubby will scold his parents if he thinks they are in wrong. He won’t give them face lor. That’s why when things not right, I will inform him and he will ‘talk’ to his parents but most of the time is his father who got it. Always against us.
When I informed him not to give soft drinks or sweets to kids as they are not well. My FIL will give behind our backs. There’s one time, I can’t take it and I raised my voice at him. (which is bad though) But till now, he will do things against us. Don’t know how to talk to him. Haiz…at times, don’t feel like bringing kids to visit them. -
Cannot hold down job so PILs gave house and car. Since car has a 10 year lifespan so someday, it will be the siblings taking over.
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Wow…so good… to give house and car…
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buds:
It never really matters what size a house is... as long as it is one we can call HOME.
Home is sweet when it is our own...no need bungalow or condo. As long as we get to do what we wish and happy, that's most important. -
Need some advise here. Currently my maid stays with my PIL not too far from our house. They take care of my kids during the day, fetch them from kindy /childcare. Now the headache part comes because my DS1 is gg to P1 next year. We opted to send him to a school nearer to our hse because the school (there’s only 1) near my PILs hse is really really bad.
But we recently found out from the school bus operator that they may not be able to send DS1 back to my PIL hse cos they dont have a route there. MY PIL dont really want to stay with us and even when we suggested that we bring the maid home MOn-Fri to help us look after DS, they got upset with us.
Initially, we hired the maid was to look after my MIL who had a stroke 3yr ago. She is mobile now and a bit coherent although not fully recovered but can still manage on her own. Initially, the cost of the maid was supposed to be co-shared with my SIL but she has defaulted on so many payments for the 1st maid that we totally borne the cost of this 2nd maid on our own.
Our finances definitely dont allow us to hire a 2nd maid or to even send DS1 to an after school care. An after school care cost about $400/month near my hse. Should I just heck it and bring the maid home? Really headache now… i know if I do that my FIL will just hate us and we’ll be branded as unfillial among relatives.
We even suggested for my SIL to share the cost of the maid but my FIL refuses to ask her, saying stuff about daughters being married out etc… Any ideas to share?? -
Coolkidsrock2:
我就是不要跟钱过不去, thats y i did not agree with DH's term. DH even thought of taking personal loan to pay back the $250k. :stupid:
Unless your PIL and SIL buy out your hubby's share at market price, you may still be short-changed if DH agrees to transfer out the name for the return of $250k. Real estate prices have gone up so much, am assuming this is a historical purchase, the person whose name is on the title deed will reap the capital gain. From historical data, the low of a cycle is normally higher than the peak of previous cycle, so no matter how unhappy you are, try 不要跟钱过不去.SAHM Chew:
We r not able to remove DH name fm the pte property as the $250k from cpf need to be pay back into cpf. PIL n SIL will not be able to pay the $ back to cpf, even though the shares will be transfer to their name. Then DH says that if i wanted to move, we will pay back to cpf ourselves.
:yikes: $250k leh, even i have the $, i will not be so stupid... Am i the seller or the buyer? $250k leh, pay to cpf so that PIL n SIL own the pte hse completely without any effort?
If you cannot buy a large unit, perhaps can consider a smaller investment unit which can self-finance. Hopefully, it will make you feel better in the times when you feel low.
Someday, my DH will have to buy a car for my BIL. :stompfeet: :frustrated: :mad: In the meantime, I will continue to spend his money on myself and the kids, no point saving too much only to have it suandered away. Decided after so many years of unhappiness that since I cannot change certain things, then I will change my approach. I am very 现实, no matter how unhappy I am, I can put up with it in so far as mine and kids' interest are protected.
DH wants a big place, so even i propose similar to HDb 4 room flat, he is unhappy. If to buy another place bigger than HDb 4 room flat, it will cost us a hand n a leg. Maybe DH thinks that 4 room hdb n equivlant is too small for his 3 kids. :rotflmao: -
Sunflower03:
My PIL gives sweets, chocolates and ice cream behind my back too.... Even after i have told them not to give it so often as the kids get sick easily. So since they cannot give in front of us, they just do behind my back :mad:. When the kids get sick, they did not even offered to look after the kids, n i hv to look after 3 sick boys.After seeing/hearing stories here, then I must be one of the lucky one here. My case with my PIL and SIL should consider nothing liao.
Then I must be grateful to have them especially my MIL as she helps to look after my 3 kids.
I think our DH also plays impt part. They must know the characters of their parents and must not be mummy's boy, everything listen to mummy type. If my hubby is this type, I will not even want to marry to him.
My hubby will scold his parents if he thinks they are in wrong. He won't give them face lor. That's why when things not right, I will inform him and he will 'talk' to his parents but most of the time is his father who got it. Always against us.
When I informed him not to give soft drinks or sweets to kids as they are not well. My FIL will give behind our backs. There's one time, I can't take it and I raised my voice at him. (which is bad though) But till now, he will do things against us. Don't know how to talk to him. Haiz..at times, don't feel like bringing kids to visit them. -
rojakz:
Need some advise here. Currently my maid stays with my PIL not too far from our house. They take care of my kids during the day, fetch them from kindy /childcare. Now the headache part comes because my DS1 is gg to P1 next year. We opted to send him to a school nearer to our hse because the school (there's only 1) near my PILs hse is really really bad.
But we recently found out from the school bus operator that they may not be able to send DS1 back to my PIL hse cos they dont have a route there. MY PIL dont really want to stay with us and even when we suggested that we bring the maid home MOn-Fri to help us look after DS, they got upset with us.
Initially, we hired the maid was to look after my MIL who had a stroke 3yr ago. She is mobile now and a bit coherent although not fully recovered but can still manage on her own. Initially, the cost of the maid was supposed to be co-shared with my SIL but she has defaulted on so many payments for the 1st maid that we totally borne the cost of this 2nd maid on our own.
Our finances definitely dont allow us to hire a 2nd maid or to even send DS1 to an after school care. An after school care cost about $400/month near my hse. Should I just heck it and bring the maid home? Really headache now... i know if I do that my FIL will just hate us and we'll be branded as unfillial among relatives.
We even suggested for my SIL to share the cost of the maid but my FIL refuses to ask her, saying stuff about daughters being married out etc... Any ideas to share??
Since the pri sch is not far from your in laws place, can the maid fetch your DS1 after sch n bring over to your PIL's place? -
SAHM Chew,
The old ones always want to play the good guys…so that grand kids like them and be angels in front of their children. But when their grand kids fall sick or kids have to go for operation or need their help after giving birth for eg, these ‘angels’ either go MIA or come up with excuses like don’t know how to go to children’s place, or where hospitals are.
Sick of their nonsense.
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