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    In-law problems?

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    • S Offline
      SBKS
      last edited by

      SAHM Chew:

      My PIL gives sweets, chocolates and ice cream behind my back too.... Even after i have told them not to give it so often as the kids get sick easily. So since they cannot give in front of us, they just do behind my back :mad:. When the kids get sick, they did not even offered to look after the kids, n i hv to look after 3 sick boys.
      I have the same problem too. but not just PIL but also my parents...how do we ever get the problem across to them? SIGH.

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      • S Offline
        SBKS
        last edited by

        janet_lee88:
        SAHM Chew,

        The old ones always want to play the good guys...so that grand kids like them and be angels in front of their children. But when their grand kids fall sick or kids have to go for operation or need their help after giving birth for eg, these 'angels' either go MIA or come up with excuses like don't know how to go to children's place, or where hospitals are.

        Sick of their nonsense.
        ya old ones tend to sayang the young ones...we the middle aged ones cant do much but be bad guy..

        i already told my parents that if they continue to be like this angelic, then i will always be the devil...then my kids will hate me...then how? lol

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        • S Offline
          SAHM Chew
          last edited by

          SBKS:
          janet_lee88:

          SAHM Chew,

          The old ones always want to play the good guys...so that grand kids like them and be angels in front of their children. But when their grand kids fall sick or kids have to go for operation or need their help after giving birth for eg, these 'angels' either go MIA or come up with excuses like don't know how to go to children's place, or where hospitals are.

          Sick of their nonsense.

          ya old ones tend to sayang the young ones...we the middle aged ones cant do much but be bad guy..

          i already told my parents that if they continue to be like this angelic, then i will always be the devil...then my kids will hate me...then how? lol

          The old ones always thought that since they raised their kids, they know better than us. But they have forgetten that they are the grandparents n not the parents. My dad know my temper n will ask my permission before offering. N my kids do not see my dad often. But my PIL will offered treats to my kids daily, especially, if i asked them to look after for a while. Since my kids are bigger now, i do not ask my PIL to look after them. Not even for 5 mins, as i know, within these 5 mins, anything can happen.

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          • F Offline
            fifiyeo
            last edited by

            We had a rule with the kids that they will always have to call us if PILs, the maids or any other relatives were taking them out. But my PILs were not happy and refused to let them call us before going out (outings that we are unaware of). Even cover up when maids or other relatives take them out. I’ve caught the maids simply taking the keys and leaving my house with my kid without even telling me to go to the supermarket!!! When we express our unhappiness over this issue, PILs argued that they are the elders so why must they follow our "rules". They say can means can, no need to call means no need to call.


            So my ex-maids used to answer us "You go ask your PILs lah!"

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            • F Offline
              fifiyeo
              last edited by

              I really have great dislike towards my PILs. They have never failed to make me feel like an outsider. Always never failing to remind me that this is "their" family and I’m an invader.


              Anyway I’ve always told DH that they are his parents and I will never stop him from visiting or taking care of them. But don’t ever expect much out of me. DH has never been on very good terms with them. I used to try to bridge the gaps but after being blamed and accused of this and that, forget it liao. None of my business!

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              • J Offline
                janet88
                last edited by

                fifiyeo:
                I really have great dislike towards my PILs. They have never failed to make me feel like an outsider. Always never failing to remind me that this is \"their\" family and I'm an invader.


                Anyway I've always told DH that they are his parents and I will never stop him from visiting or taking care of them. But don't ever expect much out of me. DH has never been on very good terms with them. I used to try to bridge the gaps but after being blamed and accused of this and that, forget it liao. None of my business!
                Same here...we can shake hands.
                Got shit, 他们很亲. Otherwise, we are outsiders.

                I told hubby he is free to visit them but don't expect me to do the same. I can't and I do not believe in being a hypocrite.

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                • S Offline
                  SBKS
                  last edited by

                  SAHM Chew:
                  SBKS:

                  [quote=\"janet_lee88\"]SAHM Chew,

                  The old ones always want to play the good guys...so that grand kids like them and be angels in front of their children. But when their grand kids fall sick or kids have to go for operation or need their help after giving birth for eg, these 'angels' either go MIA or come up with excuses like don't know how to go to children's place, or where hospitals are.

                  Sick of their nonsense.

                  ya old ones tend to sayang the young ones...we the middle aged ones cant do much but be bad guy..

                  i already told my parents that if they continue to be like this angelic, then i will always be the devil...then my kids will hate me...then how? lol

                  The old ones always thought that since they raised their kids, they know better than us. But they have forgetten that they are the grandparents n not the parents. My dad know my temper n will ask my permission before offering. N my kids do not see my dad often. But my PIL will offered treats to my kids daily, especially, if i asked them to look after for a while. Since my kids are bigger now, i do not ask my PIL to look after them. Not even for 5 mins, as i know, within these 5 mins, anything can happen.[/quote]how old is ur kids now? mine is just 2 and 4. they are at a age of falling sick and building immune system. so i have problems with them eating tidbits or fried stuff. and plus they are frequently sick.

                  but if they are older like primary schools, and not sick, i dun mind letting them eat but not too much. everything in moderation.

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                  • J Offline
                    janet88
                    last edited by

                    mine are 7+ and 12. the food in their place is not handled properly like leftovers are not put in fridge but placed on the table from breakfast till late afternoon...that can cause food poisoning. i hate it when she thinks my kids are so precious and cannot eat the food. she is plain ridiculous :mad:

                    so i told my kids NOT to eat anything in their house.

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                    • S Offline
                      SAHM Chew
                      last edited by

                      SBKS:


                      how old is ur kids now? mine is just 2 and 4. they are at a age of falling sick and building immune system. so i have problems with them eating tidbits or fried stuff. and plus they are frequently sick.

                      but if they are older like primary schools, and not sick, i dun mind letting them eat but not too much. everything in moderation.
                      My kids are 9,6 and 4. The incidents of PIL giving them tidits, chocolates, sweets, ice cream when my eldest is between 2-4. Terrible time i have when he was hospitalised, and i need to bring my 2nd boy to stay in the hospital as well as i am breastfeeding him. 1kid is sick, n in the end, 2 kids n me staying in the hospital for 5 days. Nobody can help me that time as DS1 only want me, n DS2 need my milk. After that, i told DH that only me, The mother is allow to give them any tidits as i can contol the amt they eat n force them to drink water. PIL will just shove the whole packet to them, n let them eat. N will not ask them to drink water. Even now, i will still control the amt of tidits my kids can eat. But my PIL, will always give them secretly.... :scared:

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                      • J Offline
                        janet88
                        last edited by

                        SAHM Chew:
                        SBKS:


                        how old is ur kids now? mine is just 2 and 4. they are at a age of falling sick and building immune system. so i have problems with them eating tidbits or fried stuff. and plus they are frequently sick.

                        Terrible time i have when he was hospitalised, and i need to bring my 2nd boy to stay in the hospital as well as i am breastfeeding him. 1kid is sick, n in the end, 2 kids n me staying in the hospital for 5 days. Nobody can help me that time as DS1 only want me, n DS2 need my milk. After that, i told DH that only me, The mother is allow to give them any tidits as i can contol the amt they eat n force them to drink water. PIL will just shove the whole packet to them, n let them eat. N will not ask them to drink water. Even now, i will still control the amt of tidits my kids can eat. But my PIL, will always give them secretly.... :scared:

                        poor you...attend to a sick child in hospital and another one nursing.
                        my hubby also grew up eating tidbits...he was fat bcos of all the junk and soft drinks...he never drank water. when we got married, i didn't buy canned drinks or tidbits. he had a habit of opening the fridge to look for pepsi then. now he drinks water and even tells son to drink water. :rahrah:

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