In-law problems?

[KSmom8]

janet_lee88:

2013...I will be busier bcos I have to settle my own meals.

Since she believes in her eldest son, I am only too happy (have always been insignificant)...bcos her eldest son leaves everything to his wife.
Do not have any time for their nonsense...if hubby himself gives up on them, I can jolly well do the same.

You'll be busier .... But HAPPIER!

Sometimes feel like such a hypocrite when in-laws are around. I smile and am cordial, and silently pray very hard that they won't make interfering and senseless remarks that will make me boil.

Recently, DH said he hoped my relatives won't comment on DS choice of sec school. Certain relatives including my mum, didn't approve of DS choice of a particular school, preferring another school. I told him that my relatives won't bring it up...decision has been made, so what's the point. True enough, my relatives didn't breathe a word on their preference. They congratulated DS and wished him well in his new school.

My in-laws questioned my choice of primary school for DS many years ago AFTER he was registered with the school. They asked why didn't I take their advice? Aiyoh, they know so difficult to register child in good primary school and still comment so much after registration over. Sometimes, so difficult to smile when boiling inside.

[fifiyeo]

KSmom8:

janet_lee88:

2013...I will be busier bcos I have to settle my own meals.

Since she believes in her eldest son, I am only too happy (have always been insignificant)...bcos her eldest son leaves everything to his wife.
Do not have any time for their nonsense...if hubby himself gives up on them, I can jolly well do the same.

You'll be busier .... But HAPPIER!

Sometimes feel like such a hypocrite when in-laws are around. I smile and am cordial, and silently pray very hard that they won't make interfering and senseless remarks that will make me boil.

Recently, DH said he hoped my relatives won't comment on DS choice of sec school. Certain relatives including my mum, didn't approve of DS choice of a particular school, preferring another school. I told him that my relatives won't bring it up...decision has been made, so what's the point. True enough, my relatives didn't breathe a word on their preference. They congratulated DS and wished him well in his new school.

My in-laws questioned my choice of primary school for DS many years ago AFTER he was registered with the school. They asked why didn't I take their advice? Aiyoh, they know so difficult to register child in good primary school and still comment so much after registration over. Sometimes, so difficult to smile when boiling inside.

Oh sure agree it's not easy to smile and pretend to be happy. My ILs also not happy with our choice of primary school even though it's a brand school. Not branded enough! Then sec school worse since can't get into brand school. So I guess they they must be feeling like this - :stompfeet: :frustrated: :slapshead: :stupid: :mad:

What to do? We just can't meet their ridiculously high sophisticated standard.

[erista]

I can scold my parents & highlight my displeasure to them & my parents though may sometimes get angry about it, but they are reasonable & do admit that they are in the wrong & vice versa. My hubby has no problems speaking to my parents, though he don’t argue with them like I do but he is comfortable around them. My dad & him are rather much peas in a pod sometimes… Lol maybe that’s why I married him?


For my in-laws, my hubby totally scared of his parents & dunno how to talk to them at all. If I were to voice out anything, no matter how tactfully said or even if they blantly wrong… They will say that I’m wrong & I’m being disrespectful, evil & trying to poison their son etc…

IMO "in-law problems" are created due to differences in character, point of view & up-bringing. I’ve been brought up to be able to speak freely to my parents, whereas hubby was brought up in fear of his parents.

[janet88]

erista:

For my in-laws, my hubby totally scared of his parents & dunno how to talk to them at all. If I were to voice out anything, no matter how tactfully said or even if they blantly wrong... They will say that I'm wrong & I'm being disrespectful, evil & trying to poison their son etc...


IMO \"in-law problems\" are created due to differences in character, point of view & up-bringing. I've been brought up to be able to speak freely to my parents, whereas hubby was brought up in fear of his parents.

Same here.
Hubby wasn't brought up to speak his mind with HIS parents. The mindset, upbringing is such that there is no freedom of speech. Mention anything, and I will be the one who brainwashed the son. Advise her to cut down on smoking and I am the one at fault. Doesn't pay to be nice.

[KSmom8]

fifiyeo:

KSmom8:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]2013...I will be busier bcos I have to settle my own meals.

Since she believes in her eldest son, I am only too happy (have always been insignificant)...bcos her eldest son leaves everything to his wife.
Do not have any time for their nonsense...if hubby himself gives up on them, I can jolly well do the same.

You'll be busier .... But HAPPIER!

Sometimes feel like such a hypocrite when in-laws are around. I smile and am cordial, and silently pray very hard that they won't make interfering and senseless remarks that will make me boil.

Recently, DH said he hoped my relatives won't comment on DS choice of sec school. Certain relatives including my mum, didn't approve of DS choice of a particular school, preferring another school. I told him that my relatives won't bring it up...decision has been made, so what's the point. True enough, my relatives didn't breathe a word on their preference. They congratulated DS and wished him well in his new school.

My in-laws questioned my choice of primary school for DS many years ago AFTER he was registered with the school. They asked why didn't I take their advice? Aiyoh, they know so difficult to register child in good primary school and still comment so much after registration over. Sometimes, so difficult to smile when boiling inside.

Oh sure agree it's not easy to smile and pretend to be happy. My ILs also not happy with our choice of primary school even though it's a brand school. Not branded enough! Then sec school worse since can't get into brand school. So I guess they they must be feeling like this - :stompfeet: :frustrated: :slapshead: :stupid: :mad:

What to do? We just can't meet their ridiculously high sophisticated standard.[/quote]Both my side of family and my ILs like to offer their advice and comments. My side accepts the decision made, if it goes against their advice. My ILs' don't. To them, I have not followed their instruction. No freedom of choice here. Then, MIL will harp and harp on it. If only I can :siam: but cannot, so end up feeling :frustrated:

This time round, ILs happy with DS1 choice of sec school. Yes, they can brag about it. Thankfully, they didn't say they prefer the other more Chinese one. Phew!

However, I envisage that they will have more to comment for DS2, who may not be as academically inclined and disciplined as DS1. Already, SIL has lots of \"suggestions\" for DS2.... Geez, these unmarried and interfering SILs of mine are like having additional MILs!!!

[KSmom8]

erista:

I can scold my parents & highlight my displeasure to them & my parents though may sometimes get angry about it, but they are reasonable & do admit that they are in the wrong & vice versa. My hubby has no problems speaking to my parents, though he don't argue with them like I do but he is comfortable around them. My dad & him are rather much peas in a pod sometimes... Lol maybe that's why I married him?


For my in-laws, my hubby totally scared of his parents & dunno how to talk to them at all. If I were to voice out anything, no matter how tactfully said or even if they blantly wrong... They will say that I'm wrong & I'm being disrespectful, evil & trying to poison their son etc...

IMO \"in-law problems\" are created due to differences in character, point of view & up-bringing. I've been brought up to be able to speak freely to my parents, whereas hubby was brought up in fear of his parents.

Different upbringing, values and \"culture\". If Hubby's side have disagreements, they will end up having cold wars. Don't speak to each other for weeks and even months, SIL vs MIL, between SILs, SIL vs DH, even though SILs and MIL live in same house. If my side have disagreements, there's unhappiness, but cold wars are rare and if there's one, last only a few days. We forgive and forget, and agree to disagree. When I started noticing this (after marriage), I was so very thankful that I didn't live with ILs. Don't want my kids to grow up with such values.

[janet88]

Hygiene or should I say, the lack of it pisses me off.

Hubby told me his brother can wear underwear on both sides...can CHIEF please create one simile with a face showing 'puke' look? I was shocked when he told me that. The mother said it's ok. :faint:
What matters more to her is WHO can give her MORE money.

I am definitely happier not having to care...have reason not to care. Since I am insignificant, all the more better for me. Get to keep my sanity.

[Ran1977]

janet_lee88:

Hygiene or should I say, the lack of it pisses me off.

Hubby told me his brother can wear underwear on both sides...can CHIEF please create one simile with a face showing 'puke' look? I was shocked when he told me that. The mother said it's ok. :faint:
What matters more to her is WHO can give her MORE money.

yucks!

[SaltySalt]

Ran1977:

janet_lee88:

Hygiene or should I say, the lack of it pisses me off.

Hubby told me his brother can wear underwear on both sides...can CHIEF please create one simile with a face showing 'puke' look? I was shocked when he told me that. The mother said it's ok. :faint:
What matters more to her is WHO can give her MORE money.

yucks!

omg :stupid:

[mummy OnABudget]

SaltySalt:

Ran1977:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Hygiene or should I say, the lack of it pisses me off.

Hubby told me his brother can wear underwear on both sides...can CHIEF please create one simile with a face showing 'puke' look? I was shocked when he told me that. The mother said it's ok. :faint:
What matters more to her is WHO can give her MORE money.

yucks!

omg :stupid:[/quote]Just like my bil who including his shirt can be worn 3days to a week without changing thank god i am not staying with him .