In-law problems?
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sashimi:
Ya lor.. Can give reason for post-natal new mums to jump off building
:x :x :x :x :x This is pure evil!! I've heard this scenario described by many mothers and it always pisses me off. I absolutely detest MILs who DARE say such a thing to a mother. What an utter insult! How can anyone who's ever been a mother say such a thing to another mother! Preposterous! You have my complete sympathy, buds.buds:
When baby was able to return home, i started to try nursing her.
Being a 1st time mum, i had some challenges getting baby to latch
on. At this, MIL retorted, the baby doesn't like your milk. Give her to
me, i'll do the feeding - with the bottle. You're starving the baby to death.
My poor grandchild.
okay! (without support!) Hehehee..
but i refuse to give anyone the
pleasure of that most definitely, no thank you.
I have God and my parents to thank for keeping my faith and sanity
INTACT till today. Tho i wasn't treated like i was one of their (PIL) own,
my parents never, i repeat, NEVER... encouraged me to talk back to my
PIL's, be rude to elders nor get into tongue-wars with my husband over
it... Their advise. Good things come to people who wait (patience). In this
case, good things will sooner or later come to me if i'm patient and await
the great times ahead. Patience is a virtue.
Patience almost killed me, loh! Hehehee.. -
[quote]When I opened my eyes, the first thing my father in law said to me was, \"Why is it not a son?\" and shaking his head.[/quote]
wow... speechless... -
winth:
off topic, but i had a discussion with my ds1 a few months back when he told me that he didn't want to visit my parents over the weekend as he prefers to relax at home :roll:, try to make his mum happy by listening to her complaints, and him allowing me to take 'offs' so that I won't need to visit them as often, so as to reduce conflict.
They are his parents, so I know it's really hard on his part to make a choice. 手心手背都是肉.
.
me : \"next time when you grow up, get married and your children said don't want to visit me, how?\"
ds : \"then i visit you can already.\"
me : \"then who looks after your children?\"
ds : \"their mum la!\"
:roll: time to get my husband more involved in the care-taking of the kids. -
winth:
I've complained this to him too. But I think, after so many years together, we've compromised on how to schedule them into our weekly routine so that we try to visit them, make the most out of the few hours together, try to make his mum happy by listening to her complaints, and him allowing me to take 'offs' so that I won't need to visit them as often, so as to reduce conflict.[quote]Worse part, during
the initial period of marriage, hubs never once made a stand on my
part.
They are his parents, so I know it's really hard on his part to make a choice. 手心手背都是肉.[/quote]Yup. Stuck between a wall and a really hard rock..
They (hubs) oso poor thing. Not fair to make them choose.
So i just ren lor (endure). The end result. KEHKEHKEH.. I've
climbed up to the number 1 spot liao! See! Patience is a virtue..
:lol: :lol: :lol: -
[quote]my parents never, i repeat, NEVER... encouraged me to talk back to my
PIL's, be rude to elders nor get into tongue-wars with my husband over
it... [/quote]On the night before my wedding day, my mum sat down and went through the 'rules & regulations' of being a DIL. My father came in turn and told me just one thing:
in hokkien, he said:
MUST ALWAYS GREET YOUR ELDERS (MY PILS), MUST MAKE SURE YOUR HUSBAND CAN HEAR THAT YOU GREETED THEM. YOUR PILS CANNOT HEAR (OR TREAT THAT THEY CANNOT HEAR), NVM, AS LONG AS YOUR HUSBAND HEARD IT. SO THAT THEY CANNOT TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK (IN FRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND) THAT YOU'RE RUDE FOR NOT GREETING. -
sashimi:
Yes, same. 99999 topics out of 100000 that come out of my MIL mouth is about money, prices and costs. It drives me NUTS.
My mom drives me nuts too. Our relationship only got a bit better after I got married and moved out. Thank goodness I got married young enough.
We don't live with our parents so we're lucky. And we're not so obliged to visit. They understand, we understand, that living together and interacting often causes more conflicts. Best to minimise interactions and savour the few good times we have.
Concerning our DD, our parents (even my mild dad and his \"everything chincai\" parents) suddenly turned into overbearing monsters after DD was born. We united and \"fought back\". We even \"threatened\" to prevent them from seeing their granddaughter if they \"misbehave\". Of course, we kena labelled as bad \"children\", disrespectful, blahblahblah but for the sake of our DD, we insisted on our way. This battle went on for a few years until my DD blossomed and then they started shutting up.
So parents, do not try this in your own homes unless you want to be labelled, outcast, shunned, etc. We are very thick-skinned and have high confidence levels in our parenting skills which allows us to reap the fruits of our labour now.
At least the \"ending\" now though not happy all the time, but at least everyone can breathe and some respect still exists.
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How will we as parents feel if our kids only visited us once a month or during CNY and other special occasions only
Well I always believe that to give enough "space" for our kids to breathe and DUN be like a superglued parents always seeking for attention.
As I do have friends that MILs are ALWAYS JEALOUS -
insider:
I'm so sorry this happened to you!When I was in the hospital after delivering my first daughter, my in laws came to visit me.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing my father in law said to me was, \"Why is it not a son?\" and shaking his head.
I only like girls myself, zero interest in sons; so I can assure you, one day if and when I become a FIL, I will be saying to my DD, \"Um, can I please have at least one granddaughter?\". :love: -
Hi buds,
Thanks for sharing the same emotion. The reason behind on why my girl went to the hospital was due to MIL spending too much time taking care on her first GRANDSON…
And to my MIL, infant having fever is ok… :x
I think even till i die, I will never forgive/forget…this!!! -
sashimi:
Hahaa!
I'm so sorry this happened to you!insider:
When I was in the hospital after delivering my first daughter, my in laws came to visit me.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing my father in law said to me was, \"Why is it not a son?\" and shaking his head.
I only like girls myself, zero interest in sons; so I can assure you, one day if and when I become a FIL, I will be saying to my DD, \"Um, can I please have at least one granddaughter?\". :love:
Me too!
Girls anytime..
:please:
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